So yesterday I had a chat with a naked lady....

After spending 23 years in Bahrain I've come to expect women to be more clothed than "normal"...as in seeing arms or legs was very rare there in the early days...now things are more relaxed and the expat community are fairly free to wear what they want...within reason. Besides the amount of skin covered up in the public sphere...the amount we see in the private (home, friends house etc) is generally almost the same as in the street. Your not likely to catch more than the usually accepted amount of skin even when inside and away from the prying eyes of the public (men).

I got used to that and funny enough when I came back to the states I was immediately blown away with what passes for being dressed while out in public these days. I've seen some women who apparently didnt finish getting dressed before leaving home...maybe they had an emergency...at Walmart...and thus left most of it laying on the bed. Or something (men too but generally it's the women whose state of undress is their fashion). As with all things...you get used to it.

Yesterday in college I entered the girl's changing room for the first time in the 3 semesters I've been attending this college. The dressing and shower rooms are split in two with the shower area having a small dressing area as well. I was chatting to my fellow class student when around the corner came one of the college instructors stark naked...coming from the shower area...not so much as a wet rag to hide the strategic bits.

Now I'm not a prude or anything...Ive seen naked before...but here is my beef with this. I grant you that it is a shower/changing room set up. I grant you that your likely to see some nudity etc...people are in a hurry and shit happens. What I dont get it...for those who choose to walk around stark naked...why do you assume the rest of us are ok with seeing you in such a state?

In other words, your "right" to be naked supercedes our right not to see you naked? I dont mind seeing women naked (or men for that matter)...the human body is amazing in its many forms...what I do mind is when someone takes away my right to choose whom I see naked. The girl's locker room was set up in such a way that she (or anyone) could easily dress in the same area they showered in. In other words, there was no need for her to parade around naked...so why force the rest of us to see her that way?

Now I know someone will get on here and say...well you dont have to go in the shower rooms if your afraid or upset to see someone completely naked. Your right...I dont have too...but what has that got to do with anything? Even inside the shower room why cant a certain amount of modesty be expected? Just because we are all women does that mean all the women in there are quite fine with complete nudity...just because you love being naked does that mean everyone around you loves for you to be naked too?

Anyhow, it irritated me...maybe Im oldschool....but I feel like I should be able to choose whom I see naked...and unless you are fully aware that everyone around you is fine with seeing your saggy bits and untrimmed glory...then maybe you should grab a towel and keep your goods to yourself?

Just a thought.

Can finally take that breath Ive been holding...whew!

Free at last free at last....Lord have mercy...free at last!! From homework, studying, and finals. For awhile anyhow. Will have to turn around and start all over again come mid Janurary...but for now...deep breathing exercises are in order....and a little tv watching...and some cinema viewing...and bookstore visits for books I WANT to read and time to cook a meal that doesnt come in a box or fast food bag. ugh!!!

*whose idea was this anyhow?

Transitions and a mother's heart

From the moment of our conception we start experiencing transitions from one phase of life to another. We transition from the womb to life on the outside; from childhood to adulthood and then to old age, from good health to bad health and the list goes on. For every transition we experience we learn something new about ourselves. As youngsters we covet being older, but then when we are older we pine for our youth. When we are in good health we try to not think about the "what if's" of bad health and then when we do fall ill we look back and play the "if only" game. If only I had taken better care of myself. Transitions are sometimes slow and barely noticeable and others are lightning fast and leave one out of breath and trying to make sense of what just happened. We don't always see them coming. We might even think we are prepared for one when it does happen but find out later we had no clue. Somethings just can't be prepared for.

I have experienced many transitions in my life, too many to mention here, but suffice to say this latest one is really hitting me where it hurts. I am, what is referred to as a non-traditional student; an older adult who has returned to or is attending college for the first time after a long period of time away from an educational institution. For the past year I have been juggling various roles that I must "play" in order to fulfill my dream to have a degree and better my life. I have been a full time employee at night, a full time college student during the day, and a full time mother for 23 years. Somewhere in there I find some time to sleep, I think. It has been hectic and stressful and some days I wonder what I'm giving myself all this grief for, on purpose. I've heard various rumors that it will eventually be worth it. Right now it's still too early to tell.

All of this stress has been compounded by the fact that my own children are reaching an age where they are looking to the horizon and wondering what's on the other side. I have heard about the "empty-nest" transition but nothing has prepared me for the truly empty feeling that results as one by one my chicks try their wings and head for the sun. The fact that those maternal strings seem so easily cut after all the pain I have gladly suffered to keep them tied securely leaves me feeling lost and somewhat useless. I'm sure that many of the students attending college now are experiencing this new transition of being away from home for the first time. Many of you probably looked forward to this new phase in your life and thus packed your bags and closed the door behind you without thinking too hard about the consequences; about the ones you left behind. Every new phase in your life leaves a ripple affect and those around you feel it in their own way.

It is the cycle of life that a mother nurtures and cares for her children and prepares them for the big world outside her heart. She does what she can to ensure they have the skills they need and at least a basic understanding of how the world works. She tries to teach them people don't always play nice and being hurt is going to happen. Then she teaches them how to deal with that hurt. She spends every waking moment of her life trying to improve the lives of her children and giving them a safe haven from the world and all it's dangers. She does this without thought of reward or the losses she has endured in order for them to prosper. Then suddenly she looks around and finds that her nest is empty (nearly) and all that she has left are the echoing voices of her children in every room of the house and the always present pain of being a mother in her heart.

If you are somebody's child, and you know you are, stop and think for a moment about how your latest transition may have affected those closest to you. As you face each new challenge and reach for the future with open arms...take a moment to think about the two open arms that are now empty waiting patiently for you to remember her and come back and fill them again. She would never stop you from living your life but she still wants to be a part of it.

Have you called your mother today? Have you given her a hug lately (if you can)? Have you stopped to think of her knowing full well that she has never stopped thinking of you? Transitions are never easy for those concerned but a heartfelt call home or an unexpected hug certainly soothes an aching heart.

People tell me there is a light at the end of this paricular tunnel. That may well be true but for now, it's still pitch black.

Yaaay!!! I'm a citizen!!!

Today in our government class our instructor sprung a pop quiz on us. I passed it (yay) but what was more surprising to me are the number of students that didn't. From our class of around 30, the show of hands indicated at least 23 did not pass...and the rest of us by just one or two answers.

What was this pop quiz that saw so many failures you ask? It was the exam given to would be U.S. citizen hopefuls before they can precede on to the next step of swearing their oath of allegiance. It consists of 10 questions and at least 6 must be right in order to pass. I got 7 right....and this actually surprised me because it has been a very long time since I sat in a govt. class...much less thought about any of those subjects asked about. I was even more surprised that those high numbers that failed in our class were mainly younger students that probably had govt. classes within the past 2 or 3 years...not to mention some of those questions were pretty basic information.

Shades of Jay Leno's stupid Americans segment came to mind...seriously...very sad.

Anyhow...here's the questions we were asked. I want you guys to answer the questions as best you can...WITHOUT googling (yeah that means YOU) just to see how "American" you are and to judge whether or not you could pass the same test would be Americans have to pass to be considered American citizen criteria.

Try not to look at other people's answers either....at least not until you hit submit. I won't put the answers until some people have had a go.

1. What stops one branch of government from becoming too powerful.

2. How many amendments to the constitution are there?

3. How many House of Representatives have the power to vote?

4. What are the rights of a U.S. citizen?

5. Who has the right to vote?

6. Who is one of the 3 authors of the Federalist Papers?

7. What territory did the U.S. buy from France?

8. Who was the president during WWI?

9. Name one of the territories of the U.S.?

10. Why does the flag have 13 stripes?

Just so you know, I missed #'s 3, 6, ad 8...which I thought wasn't too bad. How well can you do?

Have fun...remember...NO cheating!!!

College Class Update

I've started my second semester of college after a very hectic first semester. It took me awhile to find my groove that first semester; find time for work, homework and family. As I said...HECTIC!!

Anyhow, just to wave my own flag for a second here, after all that headache, stress and much hair pulling, I did manage to finish the semester on the Deans List. don't ask me how I managed that because I haven't a clue. But still, yay me.

Side note...the only thing that stopped me from finishing with ALL A's was one certain speech teacher that gave me a B in his class. I hate to admit I have serious doubts as to whether I deserved that B. I did flub the first speech (deer in headlights remember...ugh) and got a C but I got A's on the next two and A'ced the the final as well. Sooooo....it makes me think he had other issues with me (possibly my connection to Arabs/Islam that he showed obvious dislike for?), but I don't know for sure so I can't say.

Anyways, new semester new stresses, new likes and dislikes etc. Here's a second week into it run down.

Algebra I & II. This class isn't really a class. It's all done on line with a teacher circulating the class encase anyone needs help. No lectures, no examples on the board with detailed explanations etc. I'm a visual person so this is very hard for me to deal with. I'm finding it difficult to understand the rationale in mixing numbers with letters and calling it math. Ugh! It's even more confusing to me because I use to be an ace at math, a whiz, somewhat of a genius actually. When I was young I could do complicated math problems in my head people! No lie. When I was a mere 6th grader I was placed in 9th grade Algebra, which did nothing to make friends for me. For some reason 9th graders did not take kindly to a puny 6th grader showing them up. I mostly kept silent after realizing that just because I was smart didn't mean I had to show it. (oh the memories) I would have to venture a guess and deduce that my "math muscle" has atrophied due to inactivity and such. In other words, Use It or Lose It! I lost it. *sigh*

Good news is that this class is taught by my previous math teacher so we have a relationship established already. She is a good instructor so I'm confident things will go smooth.

Technical Writing: This class is about learning how to write business correspondence, ads, memos, things meant to be published in other words. So far it comes across as very odd. The instructor gives very strange homework that many of us have concluded makes no sense based on what we were taught in class. He also is a very sedate, methodical instructor. a.k.a. boring. I could fall asleep in the time it takes him to get his point across. Most of the students in this class are the same ones that were in my English Comp class last semester. While that class was Las Vegas with its funny lectures, jokes, and all around feel good atmosphere...this one is like a trip through Mr Rodgers Neighborhood...with Mr Rodgers leading the way. No excitement, no laughter, just information given in slow monotones and glazed eyes and big yawns are prevalent. I don't particularly care for this class at the moment but it's required to full fill our English credit so what can I do. Get it out of the way I guess. *sigh*

Spanish I: I actually love Spanish class despite my struggle learning foreign languages. Arabic definitely did not come easy to me (still struggling with that..ugh) but our instructor is a bubbly, sexy energetic Latino woman and she makes all the difference in how the class runs. It's interesting to note that Spanish and Arabic have very similar grammar rules. It's also a "what you see is what you get" in terms of spelling etc. There are no silent letters in other words. I like the class a lot and hope I can learn sufficient Spanish to converse with my many Spanish speaking customers. However, I noticed that I definitely need to be in class and learn the material first hand. The two days I missed for various reasons could be viewed quite well on our first exam. I did well on the sections I was in class...not so well on the sections I was not in class. I vow to not miss any classes if I can help it. I also noticed that she doesn't spend much time on any given section. The first day we were learning vowel sounds and basic Spanish rules...the next words...and the next we were expected to be reading and reciting whole sentences. Obviously it's going to be a speedy train to the final destination...so got to be there for the whole ride. LOL

Soy optimista!!!

Wyoming Govt & Politics: I have to admit right here and now that I know very little about the American govt system and how it operates and came to be what it is. Other than what I learned in 9th grade govt. class I have little experience with it. My only excuse being that I have been overseas for all of my adult life and busy with other things...ahem. I thought the class would be boring but it's actually quite interesting. Of course this doesn't mean I'm going to find it a breeze or anything but at least I won't be falling asleep in it as I see many other students doing in that big hall while the lights are off and projector on. LOL The instructor is quite dynamic as well so that's helpful. He is making a potential "dry subject" (at least to me) engaging and thought provoking. Also, it's actually two classes; one day a week are a combined class with several lecturers giving their opinions etc about current events or politics etc, which helps keep boredom at bay with every new face etc; and we've got a once a week class with our own specific instructor fine tuning what we heard in the lecture hall...with his own added commentary. So it's interesting and I think I will learn a lot about politics before I'm done. They also aren't afraid to speak of "controversial" issues and let us comment on those subjects too so that's always fun to be able to speak freely with learned people about certain subjects. Right now we are discussing the topic, "what's so great about being an American and is our democratic system any better than what passes for democracy in other countries?". Fun stuff.

College paper: Of course I continued with writing for the school paper. I was also made Assistant Editor this semester as my instructor really likes my writing. She hinted that I will be made Editor sometime in the future if I continue in this vein. I found it funny that I actually don't always get a chance to look at the college paper once it's published and so was actually surprised to see the last one published from last semester had the whole mid section spread dedicated to one of my articles. She never told me she was doing that so had no particular interest in making it a point to see the paper once it came out. I generally tend to write my piece then let her do what she wants with it and leave it at that. I guess as Asst. Editor I may have to change that blase' attitude. LOL

I just want to point out that that particular article was me blathering on about how I feel every American needs to get a passport and leave the bubble that is America and see the rest of the world rather than rely on such things as Fox News and Oprah to fill them in. Most Americans will never leave their hometown, their state, or even their side of the continent and so obviously will never leave America for any reason. This is to our great disadvantage as the world is made up of more than just America and how can we know a people or culture unless we get out there and experience it? Just a thought. Anyhow....

Developmental Psychology: Same instructor as my previous psych class so at least I know her exam style etc (all from her lectures, the text is more of a back up reading sort of thing). She is very interesting and makes this class enjoyable. Psychology is just fascinating to me and I look forward to it. This class focuses on child development from conception to teen years. After having 5 kids and 'seeing it all" so to speak...I'm hoping it won't be too hectic as far as needing to study etc...but who knows. Last semester my first exam in college was one of hers and I completely bombed it. Got a D simply because it had been 25 years since my last exam and over estimated my abilities...what can I say...I use to be a whiz kid...living on past glories obviously doesn't pass exams for you. LOL Got down off that high horse REAL quick and buckled down and learned how to study all over again...or should I say for the first time...LOL. I never actually studied when I was younger...I know...you hate me. Ha ha so do I remembering my cavalier attitude towards studying back then. The ego of youth and all that. Anyhow I like this class and look forward to it.

Well, that's it for now. A little run down for ya. My attitudes about each class may change over time (looking at you Spanish) but for now that's it. Wish me luck.


*side note. My boss moved me from the branch on the other side of town to the one just down the street from me. This means that, not only can my kids come walking down to visit me since during school we don't always get meaningful time together, it also means I don't have to hurry back and forth all the time to make it to work etc. More time to stay at college and get work done etc. Bonus. Down side...these customers are not nearly so interesting as the ones at the other store. *sigh*

Math...just doesn't add up...*sigh*

Math was a chore. Math was a headache. Math was freakin stress inducing!!! All the more because I use to be good at this stuff. When I was younger I could do math with my eyes closed, hands behind my back...and brain only half involved. It was so EASY!!!

What the hell happened?

From the moment I took the Compass test to gauge my level of math "intelligence" I suddenly found myself questioning my math abilities of days gone past. Was that a fluke? Was math easy for me before simply because math itself was easier before? I found myself sitting down at the table figuring out math problems and calling one or the other of my kids to come walk me through it more times than I can remember. I used reams of scratch paper and burned out a calculator or two getting through that class. It was a struggle from the first day till the last.

When did math get so darn complicated!!! Sheesh! I know our brains forget things as we get older but I assumed that was ordinary things...like peoples names or where we put our car keys...not MATH!!!

I think about the only thing that saved me in that class is that the homework was online and so we could work the problems, put an answer, and the program would tell us if it was right or wrong. If it was wrong I could work it until I got it right. Consequently, I could always get a 100% on homework...score!!!

So math was a real struggle from start to finish. I got an A in the class simply due to hard work and diligence.

Didn't hurt that the instructor was pretty awesome. She explained math in simple terms and walked us through everything. She made herself available out of class and answered emails almost within minutes of sending them. So quick in fact, I sometimes wondered if she was just sitting at home with her net on waiting waiting waiting for an email from one of her lost math students...hmmm?

Oh yeah. It didn't hurt even more that she was a strong believer in the power of chocolate to stimulate the brain prior to strenuous use. Before our exams etc she would bring a basket of chocolate and let us take what we wanted.

Don't know how effective it was in getting my brain to work properly, but it made my endorphins kick in to the point...that I really didn't care. LOL

Ok I cared.

A Lesson in Speech Giving....

I signed up for speech class simply because I'm horrible at speaking in front of more than say...two...people. I figured I needed to expand my abilities and get use to socializing with others a little more. Did I mention I don't always play nice with others...just the way I am. That has boiled down to me not being able to socialize beyond formalities etc. Hard to believe I know...but Coolred has had a very lonely isolating life for the most part..she does what she can to accommodate that previous life by trying new things now...so speech class it was.

Anyhow, I started out really enjoying this class. I even liked my instructor, who looked like a hippie version of Jesus. No lie. He was pithy and humorous and made class enjoyable with some of his insights etc. He had us stand up and speak in front of the class several times leading up to our first speech..which was to inform the audience about a certain subject.

I chose Arabs. Go figure.

Anyhow, of course I was terrified to give my first real live 8 min speech with visuals and cue cards and everyone looking at ME for those uninterrupted 8 min. I pretty knew I was going to either pass out from lack of oxygen..I tend to not inhale when put on the spot...or act like a deer in headlights once all eyes were on me.

50/50 chance..which would it be..faint dead away..or become roadkill?

Roadkill it is.

I stood there all tongue tied and unable to find my spot and blushing furiously. It was 8 min of pure hell on earth. *sigh* I rambled and got lost and never found my way back to my point...which was...Arabs are family oriented, generous, and horrible at time management. Those are the only 3 things I discussed..nothing else....soooooo when I got my paper back...I knew I had blown the speech so wasn't expecting stellar marks or anything...but I also didn't expect my speech teacher to leave a completely generalized and racist remark on my paper that had nothing to do with my subject. I did not mention religion at all...did not mention Islam...didn't mention anything other than those 3 things up there..and barely those truth be told....so when he commented this...

While I do not mind people following whatever religious belief they choose, when that religion condones the mass killing of women and puts my life as an atheist in danger and tries to force its ideology down my throat...a line must be drawn. (paraphrasing...cant find the speech now..damn!!)

I was so ticked off. He KNEW my kids are half Arab...Knew they were Muslims...Knew Arabs are important to me as a people...and had instructed us many many times NOT to make generalizations in our statements...so what was that exactly? Sounded like a huge generalization in my opinion...not to mention he was basically calling my children "women killers".

I was livid.

After that I just couldn't enjoy his class anymore. Didn't even really like speaking to him or giving feedback in the class. Don't get me wrong..he has the right to his opinion...but I'm pretty damn sure it didn't belong anywhere on my paper.

My next two speeches were about women being perceived as the weaker sex. I put up a pretty good speech about how men are, from the moment of conception until death, are at a constant disadvantage to women...everything from more likely to be born premature and die from it...to having learning difficulties; such as autism or ADD etc...as well as developmental problems and emotional insecurities etc. All in all...women come out on top in a lot of areas...but are deemed weaker simply because we SAY they are...nothing else. The first speech I had to argue it...the second one I had to give solutions for it etc.

I did pretty good on those two and got A's on them. I prepared more for them and felt more comfortable. Still didn't like the class tho. He actually gave us a final exam...of which I entered class on the day of the exam with absolutely NO idea we were having an exam that day. I swear people, completely clueless. My only excuse is that it had been a hectic week...and I had missed his previous class for some reason..and hadn't really been paying attention to him *oops*..so just didn't have a clue about it. The exam was on the class book we were supposed to read...teaching us about speech giving etc. I never read that book. Just looked at a few areas here and there. I managed to get a B on that exam. LOL Imagine if I had actually read the damn book. Oh well...water and bridges.

Anyhow, that was speech class. Done and dusted. Started out well enough but went down hill once my enjoyment was tainted.

Argh!!!

The saga continues...with English Comp.

English Comp had to be my favorite class just because of the friends I made there and the fun teacher we had. We had a lot of laughs in that class and everyday was something new. Each day our teacher would take a roll call question...asking us anything from...where would we like to live in the world or who in history we would most like to meet. Some of the answers some of us gave were hilarious...and others were sexual in nature but not meaning to be (or maybe they were..teehee) and the class would explode...teacher included. You just never knew what someone would say next. My teacher told me that she anticipated my answer like someone waiting for the lottery balls to fall down...apparently I have a sharp wit that she enjoyed. Who knew? LOL.

At any rate I have discovered that I really do not like writing about things by force. I love writing itself, but being told to write THIS and to do it like THAT is just a big pain in my...ahem...typing fingers. I had to write 4 essays in her class all together..with research and footnotes and works cited pages and in text quotes etc etc blah blah blah. All very boring. And Time Consuming. With my work schedule and other classes and just life in general getting in the way...I often found myself working almost from scratch a mere day or two before the darn thing was due. I actually finished one entire essay, with all extras included, mere hours before it was due on her desk. I had to quietly pat myself on the back when she admired my ability to get it all done...despite my hectic life.

She wrote awesome comments on my papers which made me feel quite proud of myself. Some of them indicated it was a pleasure to read my level of writing (freshman) compared to her usual fodder. LOL don't be hating. She also commented that I should look to writing in a magazine or something as clearly I had the skills. Unfortunately, I know that (yes....my big head is rather hard to carry around)...and yet have not bothered myself to pursue it. Don't ask me why. Laziness? Fear of failure? Time? I don't know. *sigh*

I managed to get A's on all 4 essays...I say managed because, seriously, I barely had time to devote my full attention to those babies. Always working, working, and needing sleep desperately. Instead I was up at 2 am trying to get things done. I assumed I don't write well under pressure but I guess I proved myself wrong. Seems I write better. Lol. Who would have thought it.

In the end, I enjoyed her class immensely but I didn't really enjoy the essay writing process. Too long and laborious. I just like to sit down and pound something out and be done with it.

Sort of like this post.

Lol.

So glad thats over with...for now. *sigh*

My first college semester is finally over...all I can say is...WTF!! Whose idea was that anyhow? I can't remember when I last I had such a hectic stressed filled few months....oh wait...I forgot. The last few months in Bahrain were seriously hectic right up until we were on the plane and heading down the runway. (how soon we forget) Anyhow...thought I would give you guys a run down of my highs and lows..up and downs...laughs and disasters...so to speak. This will be a mini series of sorts so it's not too long of a read.

Psychology

Psychology class was amazing. I just loved my instructor and the class itself was informative and interesting. I looked forward to it every day and even had a few things that have happened in my life explained in a meaningful way. That's always a plus because most of what has happened never seemed to make much sense...at least not to me. Anyhow...the one draw back to the class were her exams. Those were some of the most difficult exams I can ever remember taking in my life. Even though they were multiple choice questions...she phrased them in ways that made every answer seem right...or wrong...but hardly ever had an answer that I could look at and say THAT's the answer. I really had to read those questions...sit and think about her lectures, my notes. the textbook etc...even my own life experiences sometimes...just to whittle the answers down to the one that looked the MOST right...LOL. It took me forever to take her tests. We had 7 exams in her class and then the final exam. Those 7 were a mix of A's B's and even one D. The first exam I took in college was one of hers..and it kicked my butt. That's the D and I was sooooo freakin mortified that I got that D. I have never failed a test in my life and I nearly failed that one. My first college exam. I was nearly ready to call it quits and tuck my tail and run. It was very demoralizing and required a monumental effort from me, and a few others that pep talked me back into the right frame of mind, to stick with it.

In her class if you maintain an A average your not required to take the final exam. I had that A right up until the last exam, the one I took after the weekend of the two robberies (argh) and so I dipped below an A...sucked big time. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for a Monday morn exam after that hectic weekend. I faced a 14 chapter final exam and knowing how hard her exams are (for me) and how long it takes me to work my way through them...I was seriously freakin out about it. Did I mention I was working 6 nights a week as well..so practically NO time to study..or even finish the few remaining bits of homework etc I had.

I went into that classroom with a plethora of mixed emotions...I was the last one out of that classroom having taken about 25 min longer than anyone else. I just KNEW I hadn't done as well as I had hoped. 75 questions...some were straight forward...answered those with a bit of confidence. Others were either or type questions...a little bit of hesitation on those...and then there were the totally unfamiliar ones...the type where your brain insist you simply did NOT have that subject in your class...she threw that in there to screw with you. You know those types..there seemed to be A LOT on the test....argh!!! I skipped over those....leaving them for later. Eventually had to face them..hence me being the last one out. I spent quite a bit of time on those because sometimes her questions are really tricky. A key word that is easy to overlook can be the answer your looking for...but if you miss it...you head off in the wrong direction and ...she has answers there for that wrong direction too. So tricky...she is evil.

Anyhow...got through...turned it in...took about 10 steps down the hall then remembered I forgot the extra credit question. Work out pi 20 places. I actually knew the answer to that as we had done it before...in her class and math class...so I COULD have gotten 10 extra points..which I felt I definitely could have used...but forgot about the whole thing. I was sooooo effing pissed at myself for that. Kicked myself for not focusing on such things that would help me...anyhow *sigh*...it was done for better or worse.

Most of the time we can walk away from an exam just knowing whether we did ok or not. With this psych exam I had NO clue how I did. Nothing. I ran home and checked some answers...for some reason I completely blanked most of the questions..couldn't remember them to save my life...so checked the ones I remembered. Turns out I missed at least 2 from those 20 or so I could remember. Not good odds at all. I was a mess thinking about that exam. One minute I was sure I did ok...a B at least...not bad. The next I was sure I failed it terribly. It was a roller coaster ride that had no end in sight.

The day the results were in I checked on-line for my grade..no luck. Went to college to check..twice...couldn't find her anywhere. Came home and checked on-line again...still no luck. I was totally freakin out and couldn't get the relief I needed to end my anxiety...good or bad. About an hour later I checked one last time and there it was...I stared at the grade not believing what I was seeing. I reached for my glasses just to be sure my blurred vision wasn't teasing me....

An "A" was staring back at me.

I suddenly had no idea how the letters of the alphabet went...did A come before B...C...how did that work again??? I was floored. I didn't for a moment expect I had done well enough to get a B much less an A. I was floored (did I mention that). I called my best friend and shouted the good news to her. She told me she knew I could get an A...I'm glad one of us knew that. I ran and put my clothes on and raced to the college to find my instructor and see my test. The test was outside her door..she was nowhere to be found. I looked at it and relished that big red A circled at the top. It was then I realized I had only missed 3 questions from 75 question exam. Can anyone say WOW!!! The two I had remembered and one other I had forgotten to check. I looked on her door to see the breakdown of scores she always had there. Turns out my score was the second best one. Wow again!!! I know some of you are thinking..what's the big deal? All I can say is that...I was scared when I took that exam...scared that I hadn't had a chance to study properly...scared that I would let myself and my instructor down..scared that I would crash and burn in the subject I was interested the most in. So many fears when I faced that test...then seeing all those questions and drawing a complete blank on many of them. That A was COMPLETELY unexpected...not even hoped for ....not even attainable far as I was concerned.

Turns out I knew more than I thought..or am a crack guesser when up against the wall. LOL.

I didn't find my teacher but I did happen to run into her later that day at the public library. She congratulated me and said she was concerned when faced with grading it because of how I was in the class. Apparently that look of complete and utter dejection was written all over me...LOL...so was happy that looks aren't everything..so to speak. I will have her again in the fall with Developmental Psych...and she is my advisor as well. She rocks!!! An awesome instructor.

Did I forget to mention that she nominated me to receive the Psychology scholarship award..though I think it's referred to as the Science of Humanities Scholarship or something like that. Apparently she prefers to nominate nontraditional students (older, divorced, single mothers etc) as she feels they are making the most sacrifices by attending college at that stage in life. I noticed in my college profile information it says scholarship pending...sooooo I'm assuming that means it's MINE. LOL $1500....should pay for the next whole year of college...yay me!!!

And that's my psych breakdown (edit...just realized the pun there..LOL)...stay tuned for English next post.

Time: A luxery for the lazy and uninvolved *sigh*

To do list:

1. Essay for English comp due next week. Must interview person I admire then write essay about them. So far I have my person...*sigh*

2. 8 min speech with visuals to prepare for Public Speaking class informing the audience about something of interest to me. Ive chosen topic...written some scintillating ideas etc...and that's about it so far. This is due on the 25th. A lot to do and Ive barely gotten started.

3. keep up with math problems that are online...and in which each section gets closed after a period of time. Not only do I need to find time to work out all these problems...I need to get them done before she closes the section. So far so good but sheesh...dates sneak up on a girl.

4. read read read...I find myself with NO time to read...anything! Not for class, not for pleasure. Books all over the kitchen table unopened, unread. From someone who finds solace in reading, escape in reading, and just simple pleasure...I find this extremely frustrating. I WANNA READ PEOPLE!!!

5. Psych test coming up. Second one. First one I passed...barely...so need to do much better on this one. Need to read the encyclopedic text book..no time. *sigh* At least she records her lectures and makes them available to us. Possibly my salvation. Wish me luck.

6. Newspaper work is full of trying to catch people with busy schedules so I can interview them and then write up Pulitzer Prize winning prose which will eventually get noticed by The New York Times or Mad Magazine...I'm not choosy. Fun but time consuming and somewhat nerve wracking. Deadlines you know!!! never a good deadline to coincide with my schedule.

Mix all that helter skelter activity with a full time job and full time mommy duties and you suddenly find yourself having to sacrifice some things...like sleep...dinner time...bathroom calls because your late meeting someone etc. AND reading for pleasure of course.

So many things to do...not enough time. College is so over rated. Whose idea was this anyhow? grrrr!!!

2 weeks and going strong...

So....2 weeks into the my new college adventure and let me tell you, people, its been hectic with a capital H!!! It seems like I've been on zoom mode permanently and sleep is a thing of the past. Between college and full time work its just rushing from one thing to another....sometimes (well all the time) I have to actually stop and think seriously about what day of the week it is and where am I supposed to be at that time. Good thing I write this stuff down.


Anyhow, I thought I would get some thoughts out there about how I feel concerning my first two weeks. I've had time to get a feel for the classes, the instructors, other students, and just life as a college student in general. Some good, some not so good...but all part and parcel and I'm dealing with it (or deluding myself...hmmm?).

So lets see....what should we start with?




Ah yes, no college semester would be complete without some sort of English Comp class. I've always fancied myself a writer of sorts but writing for pleasure is a whole other world compared to writing essays and whatnot. I don't particularly enjoy this sort of writing as it requires too much preparation and attention to detail. As anyone knows that reads my blog...details are supposed to be fun...not laborious and snooze inducing. At any rate, the teacher is quite nice and funny and tries to make the class and enjoyable experience. Every morning while taking roll she asks us something about ourselves...like if we could learn a new skill what would it be? etc. Certainly gets everyone into the thinking mode and relaxed and ready to go. Not my favorite class but doable.





Next there is math class. I didn't do very well on my entrance exam, or COMPASS, which gauges your math and English
abilities and places you in a class

according to your test scores. Because
I scored low on my math I have to start out at the beginning. The interesting thing is that I was always an A student in math growing up. I was placed in a higher Algebra class then my actual grade due to my advanced skills in that subject...so to sit down and face that test and DRAW A COMPLETE BLANK at the very first question was a kick in the ass I'm telling you. Very embarrassing.

At any rate, once I sat down in this class it only took an hour or two to bring back formulas and whatnot and remind me of all that I KNEW I knew...just couldn't recall when I needed it. I approached my math teacher, explained my predicament and she understood completely. Told me that a lot of us *ahem* older students had that problem and generally regained our skills with just a little reminder or refresher. She told me if I got through the online course work quick enough she would place me in the credited math class...of which she was also the instructor. So I've been working on all that while still attending her class. She's fairly straight forward and teaches in an interesting manner. All that classwork is on line so no books or anything, which is a little frustrating. I like to SEE and FEEL things to better understand. I'm a visual creature.

Next there is Public Speaking. I took this class because I'm horrible at speaking around large groups of people. With just a few I'm considered the joker and can really enjoy myself...more than that and I'm hugging the wall trying to disappear. I figure since I'm studying for a Journalism degree, public speaking would help me in that capacity. So far the class has been really interesting and the instructor makes it fun and enjoyable. He looks somewhat like a throwback hippy from the 70's but he's very well travelled, has a lot of experience speaking etc, and is full of stories about his life and teaching. I look forward to that class a lot. So far I've had to speak in front of the class twice and both times I neither passed out nor froze like a deer in headlights so I guess I'm doing OK. We have to give an speech to "inform" the audience of something and I've chosen to speak about the middle east etc. 8 min to reduce 23 years of experience into a nutshell. Fun!!

Of course I had to take something to do with writing for pleasure so I took a class that deals with the college newspaper. From the first day we are required to interview or write articles for both the published copy and the online version. My first interview was with the head of the BOCES office located within the college. I was nervous but she was wonderful and we had a good first interview. My editor, who happens to work for the Green River Star (the local newspaper for the next town over) actually put the interview in with very little changes. Cool!!! We aren't really in a class setting as we just meet once a week and discuss what new article ideas people have come up with. I've found that ideas are easy and the writing is easy....pinning down your subject!!! Not so easy. Everyone is so busy and schedules conflict like fighting dogs. It's tough. However, because I enjoy writing it's fun as well. Our instructor is very kind and accommodating. Pretty much lets us do what we want and pursue our own ideas...just as long as we submit before the deadline so she can edit etc. I really like this class.

I might point out here that so far my backpack weights about a ton and I haven't even mentioned the class with the biggest heaviest book *sigh*. Between carrying this monster around and running helter skelter for classes and work etc...I feel I'm getting plenty of exercise in. Then again, raiding the plentiful supply of vending machines sprouting in every corner like evil mushrooms doesn't really help. ugh!

So far my most interesting class, and the one I look forward to the most, is Psychology. This class from the start grabs my attention and keeps me wanting more. Granted it's early days yet but I'm the sort of person that if my attention isn't garnered fairly early on I lose interest and move on to the next thing. I don't foresee that happening here. The instructor is extremely diligent in her lectures and includes small anecdotes and case studies or humorous incidents to break up the pace and keep us interested and alert. I didn't do as well as I expected on my first test but I found out later that she bases her tests more on her lectures then on the text book. I missed the first class and so missed this bit of info. I studied the text more and gave less attention to her lectures, interesting though they were. Will change that for future tests...LOL Today she showed us an old Candid Camera piece in which one person in an elevator was persuaded to face the back of the elevator simply because everyone else in the elevator faced the back...for no apparent reason. We are learning about how social pressure to conform makes us all do things we wouldn't do willingly...or agree with things we don't agree with but will do so just to fit in etc. Very interesting and, of course, very true. I love this class....low mark and all.

Anyhow, that's sort of a wrap up with my first two weeks. A mixture of sweat blood and tears with some laughter and feelings of accomplishment thrown into the pot...mix it all up and you get one tired college student. Par for the course I'm sure.

I found this grid and thought it was quite apt. I spend too much time trying to find a parking spot and not enough time doing the other stuff...have to leave home earlier and earlier just to get to class on time. Cuts into my few remaining hours of sleep. *sigh* Guess I'll sleep when I'm dead. LOL

Will do another update later on down the line when I've had time to adjust and make the most of this hectic schedule. Don't hold your breath on that just yet though...feels like it's going to take some time. *yawn*

Soooo I started college...yay me!!

Today was my first day of college. I was so afraid I was going to be the oldest one there but I didn't even come close by the look of some of my fellow students. Cool.

I'm working towards a degree in Journalism so registered for classes with that goal in mind. I have a Public Speaking class which I feel will benefit me a great deal because I'm rubbish at speaking in front of any gathering of people that numbers more than 2. I also signed up for Publication Productions, which is basically learning how to work on a newspaper...by working on the school newspaper. Again...cool. Something Ive always been interested in. I cant remember how many times I applied to work on Bahrain's local paper, the Gulf Daily News, but never got so much as a reply. Oh they loved my numerous letters, even told me so on more than one occasion, but never seemed interested in giving me a job there. Oh well. Their loss.

Of course I have to take math and English comp and, for some reason, they make everyone take a keyboarding class before you can take a computer class. Uhmmm? Doesn't everyone know how to type by now? Seems like a waste of time to me but what do I know.

As a health class I thought it would be fun and healthy to take circuit training. I was really getting into it in Bahrain when I was working out at Fitness First...so figured it would be good for me and I get credit for it as well. I miss working out a great deal even though it seems I never have time for it these days. Now I have scheduled time...lol. Here's to getting back in the groove of working out.

Someone forgot to mention how expensive college books are. Even the used ones are only slightly less expensive. For those of us forced to buy our own...its quite a bill at the end of the day. Unfortunately, you cant really get around NOT buying them...unless you know somebody willing to hand their old ones over. Not likely.

I think tomorrow I will enquire into taking a psychology class as well as its something Ive always been interested in. Ive got 12 credits going at the moment but I think I can manage one more class. It means more books I'm sure but this is a dream Ive had for 23 years...go to college...so here I am going to college. Might as well make it everything Ive always wanted...LOL. Wish me luck on that.

A few observations. First of all...I don't recall the desks being quite so tight fitting. *sigh* Hopefully circuit training will take care of that. Also, the instructors emphasised again and again that college is so much different than high school as nobody is looking over your shoulder reminding you about deadlines etc...so,even though I didn't really study in high school I did like that constant reminding...so I will need to "learn" how to go to college just like every new high school grad apparently. Wish me luck on that too.

One thing I would really really like to do would be to get involved with a theater production...try out for a part in a play or something. Apparently that's an option even if your not in theater classes. Only problem would be me working at night all the time...probably wouldn't help when it came to rehearsals etc...but you never know. I will definitely look into that. I'm thinking something along comedic lines...what do you all think? Can I pull off a comedy role? Lol.

Don't forget, of course, that my two oldest are also going to college right along with me...so its a family affair for us. We are all interested in different things so not much sharing of classes etc but I can help them with their English and they can help me with math..seems only fair. My son is going to work towards computer graphics designing...and my daughter is torn between design and culinary arts...so at the moment she is just doing pre-requisites such as the math and English courses etc until she makes up her mind.

So at the moment I'm entirely chuffed at my new college endeavor. I'm fired up and ready to be educated...lets just hope I can get back into the swing of scholarly pursuits similar to my school days. Get back to me in month when homework is piled up, house is a mess and my work schedule is still 4 to midnight...ugh!!!

So far I still love it. LOL

Points of interest about WWC...there are plenty of dinosaur exhibits scattered around the campus...Mr T-Rex here is my favorite as he is so studly all by himself but back dropped by that large glass window with that mountainous scene...waaaay cool. That's the cafeteria btw.

I haven't had a chance to visit the library yet...I know!!! WTH!!! but I hear its state of the art and all sorts of impressive. Will check it out tomorrow.

One more point of note...my two fellow college kids have been totally blown away by the mere design and decor of the college. How so much attention has gone into making it interesting to look at as well as be in. A stark difference to my daughters college in Bahrain that looked little different than a prison, no color, no design, nothing of interest to make you wanna be there. They both love it and that's the first step to being successful I believe...wanting to be there. What do you all think?