What would YOU do?

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2010/12/03/when-do-we-intervene/#comments

This is an interesting experiment in which people in a compound are subjected to loud drum music...and then on a different night...subjected to what they believe is domestic violence going on. People felt quite all right to bang on his door to object to his loud music...but not one person bothered to come complain about the assumed violence taking place in that same apartment.

It reminds me of my own home growing up...none of our neighbors ever bothered to respond to the violence Im sure they could hear coming from our trailer (trailers are not spaced that far apart for the most part) and neither could others who could see our bruises and injuries bother to inquire beyond the surface as to how we always seemed to be bruised and injured *hint hint much*.

How do we as a society decide on what we get involved with and what is none of our business? Loud music...my business....domestic violence...close my windows and pull the shades....hmmm.

Can finally take that breath Ive been holding...whew!

Free at last free at last....Lord have mercy...free at last!! From homework, studying, and finals. For awhile anyhow. Will have to turn around and start all over again come mid Janurary...but for now...deep breathing exercises are in order....and a little tv watching...and some cinema viewing...and bookstore visits for books I WANT to read and time to cook a meal that doesnt come in a box or fast food bag. ugh!!!

*whose idea was this anyhow?

How do you find what you lost....?

There is a process we go through once we realized we've lost something...whether it be keys...a receipt...even our car in a multi storey carpark. We first try to remember the last place we saw that item...look there...if its not there then we think of where it must be if its not in its usual place...basically we backtrack until the lost item is eventually found. Most lost items are found either by diligent searching or completely by accident (I once found the remote for the tv in the fridge...much questioning among the household members did not reveal how it came to be there)...but sometimes...things once lost...stay lost.

When we lose something that really has no value to us...such as a hat...or maybe a pair of sunglasses...we may spend a moment in private self recriminations on how can we be so scattered or empty headed when it comes to keeping our things where we can find them...but then we move on with our lives. A lost glove or pair of glasses does not end the world....but what happens when we've lost something that needs to be found? What happens when finding that missing thing is detrimental to our future...to our psyche...to our inner equalibrium and belief in who we are...what happens when lost things stay lost?

Of course we know that somethings just cant be found...cant be gotten back once lost...the most obvious thing being "time". A minute lost is lost forever...our youth once gone is gone. Many people have gone searching for youth...they imagine they've found it with the purchase of a new red sport car or a new young girlfriend or wife (holds true for women I suppose as well...all though I dare say women generally dont look for youth in a motor vehicle or young lover...but I could be wrong). However, what do we do when we lose something that could possibly be found again...we just dont know where to look? We cant really remember where the last place we saw it was...or even when? How do you find something that your not sure where you were when you lost it...and dont know where to look in order to find it again?

See...heres the thing....Ive lost God...Ive spent considerable time searching for God...looked in all the usual places I often found God before...like in prayer...or in the Quran. I searched diligently in those areas but came up with nothing...God wasnt there. I searched in the mosque but that seems to be the last place I would find God since women arent generally accepted in the mosque here (other then Ramadan or Eid...go figure) so how can I adequately search for God in a place Im not even welcome for the most part? I tried looking for God among my fellow Muslims...but all I found was large doses of hypocrisy and self righteousness...of women haters and kafir bashers...I found jihadists and extremists and Muslims in name only...but I didnt find God...I heard God might have been there just before I arrived...but was long gone by the time I made the scene...I still looked around...hoping to catch a glimpse...no luck.

Last but hopefully not least...I searched for God within me. I lay in bed at night and just search my mind..my heart...my soul...looking for even the faintist piece of evidence that God is there...or was there...or might be there again. Ive left no "stone" unturned...Ive called out to God...cried for God...even cursed and blamed God for being lost in the first place...God must be pretty far away cause apparently God didnt hear me...at least I didnt get the sense God heard me while I laid there...holding my breath...straining my ears...trying to hear even the merest of whispers that God was somewhere near by....nothing....Im guessing I must be pretty empty inside these days cause mostly I just get echoes back when I call out to God...sigh!

Ive lost God dear readers...has anyone seen God...maybe let me no where I might have left Him? Its very important that I find God as I have somethings to tell Him...somethings to confess to Him...and I admit...Im in need for some answers from God as well. Or must I believe that this is just one of those things that can never be found again...once God is lost...He's lost forever?...anyone?

A long walk home from Juffair...!

Have you ever wondered how long it would take to walk from inner Juffair to Hidd? Well wonder no more...yours truly embarked on an epic trek last nite that started at 6 pm and ended just after 9. I suppose someone with a little less weight to carry and a lot more fitness under their belt might have done it a bit quicker...you think?...but it took me just over 3 hours. Why might you ask did I take on such a foot aching walk? Well for two reasons really...first off I was seriously ticked off by the person I was with and rather then sit in the car with her and further our argument(which could lead to more disaster) I got out and stomped off claiming I was walking home. The little stubbon goat in me insisted I do what I angrily claimed I was going to do....whats a few blisters when your trying to prove a point? Secondly, I use to go for walks nearly every day for many years...but for the past two years I havent gone and I miss those walks alot...so I took it as a chance to prove a point(I forgot what the point was 4 kms into the walk) and to reaquaint myself with the joys of walking.

Walking is really under rated as a form of meditation and soul searching. Just cruising along...maybe counting your footsteps or breaths...or the many black beetles that line the path like tiny tanks(ewww!)...sends you into a sort of trance like state that really lets you think clearly...or not so clearly(random thoughts tend to come and go during trance like states)...and you can get a lot of that back log of problem solving and critical thinking done that you just havent found time for in this chaotic and constantly busy life we live now. If you have headphones on(which I did) everything around you is practically cut off...so your in effect in a world of your own. I might add this can be dangerous if your alone somewhere as anyone could sneak up behind you and you wouldnt hear them coming...but as the footpath over the bridge is quite busy I felt safe to use them.

I started out on my journey quite angry and upset so was stomping along grumbling about "seeking justice" the next time my best friend had the nerve to come near me(I imagine her ears were buring something awful) but somewhere along the line I slowed down and settled into an easy stroll...I had a long way to go and I wasnt in a hurry. With each step taken some of the anger was left behind with it until at some point I realized I wasnt angry any more and seeking justice was left somewhere back in the dust. There were a few times I wanted to call her to come get me...but then stubborn goat bleated that that would be the worst thing I could do...she was probably waiting just for that call so she could gloat and drown out the bleat...so I didnt call. Step after step after step...getting farther from my starting point...and closer to my goal.

During this 3 hour marathon trek...I came to the conclusion about a few things...you might all ready know these things and dont need a blister inducing safari to teach them to you...but bear with me.

1. First and foremost...never stomp off on a cross country(lol) trek if your not physically ready or dressed for it...makes it a whole lot tougher on you to wear snug jeans and a heavy backpack for such a walk and no such marathon walk should be undertaken if you havent been doing some sort of exercise before hand. Believe me, your feet, and everything between that and your hairline, will remind you of the fact every step of the way. (if you manage to complete the walk...it aint over yet...try getting out of bed the next morning)

2. Stomping off for a walk is actually a good way to prevent an argument from spiraling out of control which can lead to things being said that woud cause pain and regret later. I recommend going for a walk when things start to get heated between you and someone you care about...no sense in staying and feeding the fire with hurtful words that you cant take back and are never forgotten(even if they are forgiven). Also, its safer for you and those around you not to storm off in your car and drive while angry....nuff said on that.

3. Walking gives you the opportunity to look at things you pass by in a blur in your car everyday a little more closer. Reminds us that we should slow down and enjoy the scenery...such as it is. The most scenery you get from a car is the tail end of other cars...or the angry faces of irate drivers...walking is positively serene and no lane changers(all though that guy on the bike needs a few lessons on sidewalk ettiquette...grrr)...tailgaters....or people breaking in front of you for absolutely no reason. There are never traffic jams on footpaths.

4. Last but not least...dont consider the whole trip from start to finish...you might find it too monumental and chicken out or give up....see it as a series of mini walks. Set a point in the distance and vow that you will walk that far...like to the next km sign..or traffic lights etc. Once you pass that..spot your next goal and head for it. Its much easier to break down a long walk into little walks...then to consider the journey in one big bite. If someone had told me yesterday morning that I could walk from Juffair to my house in Hidd...I would have laughed at them...but Im not laughing now. I might have blisters but I now know that I can walk around 9 kms and not need medical attention and heart bypass surgery...its a great sense of acheivement for me...so now Im looking forward to my next walk...but maybe not quite so far...lol.

lets just hope it doesnt take an argument to get me started...sigh!