2 Rednecks walk into a convenience store....

2 rednecks walked into the store today and passed a Emo type boy walking out. This boy had piercings on his lips and eyes, shaggy black hair and baggy black clothes. The two rednecks passed him by and turned with raised eyebrows and a look of scorn on their faces...and one of them said...


"That's the f**king youth of America today...and that's why Obama got elected president?"


So my question is...WTF?!!! what does a boy wearing the supposed Emo style have to do with Obama getting elected president? Did I miss something during the last presidential campaign...did Obama run himself ragged across America trying to win the "Emo" vote...and then apparently got it?


Are these two "good ole boys" trying to make a claim that NO presidential term before Obama had any sort of fashion statement all the rage during his term of election...or prior to it?


I would assume these two men were making a snide remark which was meant to portray the boy as ill mannered, unkempt and possibly some sort of criminal...merely by what he was wearing...but here's where they got it wrong...WAY wrong.


I served this boy, who might have been 15 or so, and he was very soft spoken and polite with me. He said please and thank you....and returned my "have a nice day
with a "you as well."....then left the store.


On the other hand the two fashion gurus sporting their beer bellies, baseball caps, and sweat stains under their armpits...were rude with me making loud demands and smacking their money on the table while reeking of beer and body odor. Did not say anything close to being polite...and threw the receipt on to the floor as they left.


Soooo...question? Does the old adage...don't judge a book by its lip piercings...still hold true?


It sure does. Give me an Emo type over a good ole boy any day of the week...and who knows...the way things are going in America...those Emo's just might get a woman elected next time around. One can only hope.

Step Back....Im on a Rant!!!

Yesterday I was standing talking with my friend when some ladies came up to her and offered her their salams and chatted for about 5 minutes before departing. During that 5 minutes they did not acknowledge me standing there...barely threw a glance in my direction. Its not the first time this has happened to me...read on.

You know, dear readers, in my 23 plus years living here in the gulf Ive witnessed and been effected by many an Arab/Muslim tradition/culture/Islamic experience that has left me either happy, unmoved, or totally pissed off and wanting to vent like crazy. Ive been in arguments, debates, lost friends, gained new ones, learned much and wish to learn more...all in the quest to gain more knowledge about these people and their culture...and this religion. (not always two distinct entities mind you).

This particular post is just going to touch on one area in which an issue has been festering much too long. Ive tolerated this for 23 years and I dare say Ive damn near had it. Basic manners people...thats all it takes...basic manners.

Manners are taught to us from the time we are old enough to learn to say please and thank you. Manners are instilled in us so that we can learn to be sociable creatures that can get along in this jungle we call civilization. Most cultures out there, Im assuming, take great stock in manners...we pride ourselves in presenting a well mannered persona to those we know...and even those we dont know but may come into contact with for just a few minutes. Those few minutes can make the difference between leaving that "stranger" with good thoughts about you, your culture, your religion, your parents, your character....whatever...people pretty much make a snap judgement about you in just a few seconds/minutes of being in your presence...so make it count (if it matters to you).

My rant right now is about saying hello...or in this instance...saying salam or salam aleikum when you are faced with another person. We are taught at a very young age that when you approach someone to engage in conversation...or even just passing but want to acknowledge them...you call out "hello" or "salam aleikum". Muslim/Arabs are particularly sensitive about this issue...Greeting family, friends and strangers alike with proper salams is something you learn from the cradle. If you leave the house for an hour and come back...salams are given. If your walking from your house to the car and you see your neighbor, salams are called out. If your standing in the store aisle waiting your turn to check out and you see someone you know...salams are shared...even if the person in front of you is a stranger and happens to look at you, possibly to get your attention that the cart needs moving ...whatever, a quick salam is given and then the problem stated. If you enter a room full of people and neglect to say salam...or in some cases...go from one person to another extending personal salams to each one...you might be considered rude...and it will be remembered.

In other words...proper greetings are given a lot of seriousness and thought in this country/culture/religion. Hadith from the Prophet mention time and again to return salams with similar or even better ones...not to mention just minding our manners and showing respect etc. The Quran is full of information on how to act with proper manners etc...its not like Muslims dont know...do they?

So I seriously dont understand my fellow Muslim sisters (Im speaking directly to sisters here as I dont generally have a problem with men in this regard)...why is it you find it so hard to not only acknowledge my presence when Im standing right in front of you...but even if you do SEE me you quite often dont bother yourselves to extend salams to me?

Now, my friend gives me every excuse in the book as to why these Muslims are being so rude to me...many of them are her friends...sometimes her family...she doesnt want them to look bad in my eyes...but this has been happening to me for 23 years...20 of those while wearing hijab...so I dont understand what excuse there is. Muslims give Muslims salams...simple. Muslims should, in the very least, convey a smile or similar welcoming greeting to a person standing right in front of them...even if the arent Muslim...its called courtesy...manners.

She will tell me that they are shy cause they dont know English...well...hmmm? Last I heard salam aleikum was Arabic not English. Im not asking them to discuss the origins of life with me...just a simple salam to acknowledge they actually see me. I might even accept a simple smile to at least break tension...but no..nothing.

Now let me remind you dear readers that this is not a one or two times thing...this has been happening for over 20 years.

Ive been sitting with women at a table and other women will come....give salams...and not even eye contact with me...I will be in a room full of women...someone enters...extends salams...goes around the room for personal greetings...but for me...nothing. Its happened so many times that I cant assume its nothing but personal...but what have I done to deserve it? I dont know.

People DONT see me!!! Im starting to wonder if Im invisible...seriously.

It happens to be one of the hardest to bear experiences I have had living here...being made to feel invisible...like I dont belong...arent worth being acknowledged.

Like I dont count in their eyes...so why should they bother to greet me.

So my friend tells me...I should be the one to greet them if they dont greet me first. I should be the one to smile and show manners since they apparently arent going to. Ok fine...I can do that...not a big deal...but its rather hard to smile and be friendly with people that just rebuffed you for whatever reason....it comes off fake...not to mention humiliates me that Im forced to make them acknowledge me when clearly they did not want too. She doesnt understand how I feel since she has never stood in my shoes.

Anyhow, Im sick of it. Had enough. I told myself the next time someone deliberately refused to SEE me...to offer salams etc while I was right there in front of them...I would make sure they knew just how rude they were being.

I was with my friend yesterday...and 3 ladies came up to her for a project of some sort. They gave kissy kissy salams Arab style...Im right there...they know Im with her...they interrupted us to greet her...so why no greeting for me too? I dont expect the familiarity of kissy kissy salams Arab style...but still...Hello? Something?

So I loudly told my friend..."I thought Muslims learned to say salam from a young age...where are these ladies manners? How rude of them they didnt give me salams."

She tried to smile and cover up my talk while apparently hoping they didnt understand English enough to know how RUDE I was being...go figure.

Anyhow, anyone out there have this problem...invisibility among Muslims (in my case Muslim women generally)? It doesnt happen ALL the time to me...but enough times to really cause me grief and deeply hurt feelings towards these so called Muslims. I cant find any acceptable excuse for not extending a basic salam to someone...ignore the language barriers...whatever...I can say hello in 7 different languages even if I cant speak anything else in that language. Its an ice breaker to greet someone with a hello...its a sociable concept to acknowledge their presence and include them in your talk when you walk up and face them with one or two others. This is shunning pure and simple...and I dont understand the reason for it.

Before anyone makes the excuse....maybe they dont know your a Muslim. My answer...whats that got to do with anything? Seriously. Dont even use that weak argument with me. Are we to believe a basic salam...or even an English hello...cannot be spoken to a nonMuslim if that is the case? Are Muslims so miserly with their salams and who they give them too? Is it too much of a language barrier to utter "hello" to someone...or even just smile at them if you dont know the language or feel shy?

Seriously people...what the hell is it? Is it me? Am I wearing a sign that says "hostile combatant" on it or something? What?

Im 40 years old. Ive spent 23 years of my life being made to feel invisible for some reason by assumingly ordinary basically good people. I dont know why.

What does it take to be SEEN over here?

Guess What I Did Today?

I went to the clinic today as Ive been putting off something that needed doing for awhile now. In case your not aware from the pictures I went to have my breast examined.

Im reluctant to admit that the last time I had them checked was probably at least 4 years ago. I realize Im "only" 40 but there is a history of breast cancer in my family and so I should be a hell of a lot more diligent about keeping my check ups up to date.

Its just one of those things I keep promising myself to do next week and never do. So many other seemingly more "important" things that got in the way of my scheduling a check up. However, recently I realized I couldnt put it off any longer as certain symptoms have popped up that need investigating pronto. So off I went...

Now I dont know about other women but the one mammogram I have had was extremely painful. I am about a 40c and having that squished into a pancake that you could slide easily under a door is not without considerable pain. Doesnt seem fair when men basically just have to turn their head and cough (or so most comedy shows would have us believe). Would be nice if they had to have something or other squished to pancake size...then see how happy they are to have one...lol.

Anyhow, I went to a clinic that has several different offices with doctors practicing different specialties all under one roof. I informed the receptionist that I wanted to see a gyno doc and she filled my paperwork and I waited my turn.

When I walked into his office he immediately tried to put me at ease with small talk and a bit of charm. I dont mind small talk and charm at all...but as I looked around his office I didnt notice much in the way of advertisement for his field of practice. No gyno charts or pictures of how to perform a breast exam etc....nothing. After getting the small talk out of the way I asked him what his specialty was...he stopped smiling and just looked at me. I added that I couldnt tell just from looking at the walls..and wanted to make sure I was in the right office (happened to me before).

When he didnt answer as fast as I would have liked I asked him again..."what sort of doctor are you?" He answered, "a human doctor"...well ok then...breathing easier now. I laughed just to set him at ease as I felt he was somewhat offended...and explained that I just wanted to make sure I was in the right office...save some embarrassment. He relaxed and we got on with the exam.

Now the reason I asked him was because way back in the day when I first arrived in Bahrain at the tender age of 18...newly married...newly pregnant...and newly culture shocked into near silence...I visited a clinic for an earache. The doctor had charts all over his office indicating his specialty was for ENT...but for some reason when I informed him I was pregnant so any medications he prescribed should keep that in mind...he immediately had me lay on the exam table and did a full breast exam (nothing at all like this doctor did today) and took his time about it as well. Of course my newbie status in a foreign country...my newbie status as a pregnant woman and the sort of exams that go with that etc...and my ongoing lifelong status of not questioning the things that happened to me whether I agreed with them or not...kept me quiet throughout...even though I was extremely uneasy and was almost sure something wasnt kosher here.

After he declared me "cancer free" I left...went home...informed husband of the free breast exam I was just given by an ENT doctor...which caused husband to drive back to the clinic and chase Gyno impostor down the corridors and out into the parking lot where he taught him how to take an ass kicking...even though he wasnt really a boxer.

Anyhow....so I wanted to make sure there was no mix-up and that the doc was who or what he was supposed to be...fool me once shame on me as ...they say.

I had a regular breast exam today and will get the mammogram tomorrow...ugh!...but I realized that Im just being lazy and stupid by delaying this exam. There is a history of breast cancer in my family and Im a single parent to young children that depend on me and my good (decent) health for as long as they need me.

*btw I encourage all women to get their breasts examined on a regular basis. Breast cancer has a high cure rate if its caught early.

Mind your manners...a lesson in Net Etiquette

I will be the first to admit that I know next to nothing about finding my way around the net and getting what I need from it. I jealously watch my kids click themselves into a net coma while getting, what appear to be, very complex objectives completed. Whenever Im watching movies that have anything at all do to with the net and I see fingers flashing and screen info whizzing by(no loading hangups in movie land I guess) I want to pull my hair out in frustration. How the heck do they get what they need so fast and how do they find it in the first place?

While cruising the superhighway I marvel at other peoples blogs and how interesting and eye catching they have designed their pages...mine is a cemetary by comparison...not much happening. It took me the better part of a weekend to figure out how to put the visitor counter on my page....and Im somewhat concerned whether its counting right...I think I have it programmed to count every time "I" visit the blog...that would explain the "high" count.....hmmm? As for putting ads...little cartoony characters...pics running up and down and around it...gimme a break....I feel like I need a Phd in Cut and Pasting HTML or an MBA in Link Clicking and RS Feedback...something anyhow that Im obviously sorely missing.

I entered the book store last month hoping to find some sort of help in my rise from net ignorane and lo and behold I found the "Bible" for all us poor souls ignorant about "all things blogger" and left scratching our heads while everyone else are making blog sites that win awards that keep the crowds coming back time and again....I found "Blogging for Idiots"...my Phd was just around the corner...I nearly sustained some serious paper cuts in my frenzy to devour the pages and experience that little "light bulb moment" that means I 'got it" at last...if only.

First thing and only thing I have learned to do was put a pic in my post....spiced up my post a little for sure...eye catching and colorful....lets the reader know fairly quickly what they are most likely going to be reading about...so pics are good...pics are interesting...pics are apparently owned by other people and cant just be used however you want...something I didnt read in the book(better check again...might have skimmed that part in my haste to enduce a blood draining paper cut)....unfortunately...my blunder caught the eye of one pic owner whose pic I filched while learning all about google images and how to find one for my post(oops...that was something I learned to do too...google a pic) and came here to let me know just how irritated he/she was and how inconsiderate I was for daring to do such a thing. Im still wondering how he/she knew how to find me...something else I need to learn...sigh! Anyhow...I was rightly kicked in my backside for "stealing" something that wasnt mine by rights and for that I sincerely apologize for my ignorance and for my theft...but its left me thinking very deeply about the net and what it is exactly.

For myself Ive always viewed it as a library at my fingertips...a smorgasboard of information just waiting to be clicked on and assimilated to my hearts content...the only limit being my need to sleep and do various other activities that are part and parcel of daily life...like work and pay bills. Other than that...its all free...the only thing I figured that wasnt free was anything that required a credit card number to acquire(ok copyright laws I knew about...but reading something doesnt infringe on that....and I dont make a habit of downloading things from the net anyhow...dont believe me...ask my kids...they had to show me how to download...it wasnt a pretty hour spent...I gave up after several colorful words were whispered through clenched teeth...and it wasnt by me)...yes...I know...how simple can one get? Live and learn...and occasionally get burned by your ignorance(Im pretty sure I can hear some giggles out there...dont be so quick to laugh...you all werent born with a Net gene in your DNA mix you know...we all have to learn eventually).

So my forays onto the net have been interesting...enlightening...and educational and Ive made lots of friends that help make life bearable...but Ive also stepped on some toes along the way and left at least one person fairly miffed at my audacity to take what wasnt mine...so I need to tread lightly and learn the rules as well as all the tricks...I would kindly request that someone direct me to a "rules and regulations concerning the net and its content"...if there is such a site...Im sure there is...there is a site on just about anything you can imagine...and somethings you cant...its a big wide world out there on the information superhighway...but no matter how far from home(your blog/site) you might travel...you can always find your way back...and apparently leave a fairly obvious trail while your at it so others can find you too...man! I gotta figure out how thats done...anyone?

p.s. Im rather hesitant to put a pic on my post now...feel somewhat like a "Three Strikes and Your Out" felon.....one more filched pic and Im locked up and the password thrown away...sheesh...guilt sure has a way of making sleep a restless affair indeed.