VIP Look From Top of World Trade Tower

My friend and I were meeting a potential business partner at the World Trade Tower here in Bahrain and he took us up to the top for a special viewing. Its not complete at the top yet so we had to step around construction work etc...but well worth it for the view.





My ears were popping as I believe there are 44 floors to this building. Thats the British Embassy down there...once of the oldest buildings in Bahrain. And the only bit of green that adds up to much.








My phone cam takes some pretty awesome pics ...for a phone cam. Nokia E66








Its hard to open your eyes up there as the sun is soooo damn bright...and everything is blinding. Thats the Sheraton Complex down there. Pool looks refreshing.











The cars look like matchbox toys...so cute!!!









Water looks refreshing from up here...down there its just dirty and not at all inviting...ugh!! And so much garbage along the beaches generally.









Swan dive time!!!









Sort of like looking out of a huge fishbowl. We are only one floor under the roof. A tiny little office not big enough for much considering the crazy rent Im sure they will have to pay. Very cool anyhow.

I sure didnt expect to be "on top of the world" or at least Bahrain when I woke up that morning. Something interesting to remember...cool.

Enough With the Rules...Whatever Happened to Just Having Fun?

Last night I was in Seef Mall with my daughter. For anyone that doesnt know we recently had yet another mall added to our already impressive collection (all within a short distance from each other mind you) called City Center. Since this new state of the art mall opened up Seef Mall has really seen a decline in numbers. How do I know this...well simply because you can actually find a place to park your car pretty much anytime you go there now (except the weekend as Seef has the cinema and City Centers still hasnt opened theirs).





When you wander around inside its almost like a ghost town at times...City Center has definitely put a dent in Seef Malls business...so the bosses at Seef have apparently knocked their heads together and came up with a crowd puller...or at least what they thought would pull the crowds.



A Cash Grabbing Booth

Now in theory this would seem to be a good idea for getting the crowds away from City Center and back to Seef...who doesnt like a chance at free money? However, I found the crowd (such as it was) less then enthusiastic considering Bd2000 ($5000 more or less) was up for grabs (at least thats how it was promoted).

Anyhow, first off I have to point out that it was quite clearly false advertising. Supposedly there is Bd2000 in that booth...but our largest denomination of the dinar is a Bd20...and it takes quite alot of those to make Bd2000...and looking into the booth you were lucky to see maybe 10 or so...with a few Bd10 notes scattered around as well...and some Bd5's just for good measure. The majority by far of notes were Bd1 and half Bd (5oo fils) notes....and anyone with a modicum of counting skills could very clearly see there wasnt even close to Bd2000 worth of those in that booth.

Secondly, they had so many fricken rules about what you can NOT do while in the booth.
1. dont move your feet
2. dont grab for money stuck to the sides
3. use only one hand
4. dont stick money in your shirt or pockets
5. dont jump up or bend down

Oh yeah, and you have 20 seconds to grab as much as you can...one handed...not jumping or bending or using your clothes etc...just standing there and reaching out into the air to grab what you can...fun fun fun!!!

Last but not least...you have to be present when and if they call your name...no shows are disqualified. So one guy who had run off to the bathroom (we are told) lost his chance cause they werent willing to wait 5 min...oh well...you snooze you lose...or something else...lol. The ticket holder was a huge tumbling machine that had several thousand tickets in it...there were only about 50 people gathered around at show time. Im thinking it wasnt advertised well enough so that people understood the rules or something...anyhow...

The first one drawn was Bahraini lady...problems right off the bat. She was wearing hijab and duffa. Now Ive never been in a wind booth but I hear its... well...pretty windy...lol....and the air is being blown from below upwards...are you following me here...chances are neither her abaya or hijab will take kindly to such rude wind.

So she looked around hopefully...maybe wishing the Presenter would just let her go into the booth sans wind and grab what she liked for 20 secs...you think...or maybe she was thinking she wished one of her brothers or sons was with her (if she had any)...but nothing. Eventually the Presenter had a light bulb moment and asked for a volunteer to come forward and grab for the lady. She looked around somewhat embarrassed as if he was asking for someone to model underwear she planned on buying...no takers at first but eventually a British teen volunteered and everyone was happy.

My only problem with volunteering for such a project is that things can get ugly if the volunteerer (?) inadvertently breaks a rule and gets disqualified (and very likely considering how many there were)...and if they dont do a very good job grabbing...someones feelings might be hurt and a little resentment felt...understand me?...but British teen volunteered and Bahraini lady happily accepted.

She was given a run down of all the rules and stepped tenderly into the booth on top of a pile of money. It was at this point we learned that only 20 secs were given to supposedly grab Bd2000 dinars...yeah right...anyhow.

I took pics of this with my phone cam but unfortunately I cant find the wire to hook it to my computer so you have to visualize from the pic up there.

Air was turned on...money went flying (although she was standing on quite alot of it and nobody advised her to move her feet to set it free into the playing field) and she started grabbing. 20 secs flies by in..well...20 secs. Its like no time at all. Started and finished before you can really get excited about anything.

It was all over and she stepped out for the count up. A grand total of Bd21. Free money and all but the crowd was obviously not impressed. Hey...its not as easy as it looks judging by her efforts...anyhow. Bahraini lady was smiling and offered the British girl Bd5 for her efforts. Fun fun fun!!!

Next was a grown man (not sure his nationality...anyhow) and he went through the whole thing and came away with Bd32. People were expecting more from him judging by the reactions...but what can you do...its wind and its paper and its rules rules rules. I noticed he actually dropped quite a bit of money in there as it would fly from his hand while transferring from the grabbing hand...maybe thats why they dont allow pockets etc...might actually get some money that way.

All in all it wasnt nearly as exciting as Ive seen on tv etc. The crowd tried to be supportive but with only around 50 or so...it was lackluster at best. The rules were unfair and unneeded...just how much money can be grabbed in 20 secs even without those rules? Seef promoters had a good idea but didnt really do enough with it in my opinion.

If your trying to draw a crowd...let them have fun for goodness sake...enough with the rules already. Life already has enough of them for us....20 secs in a booth full of money sans rules...now thats a crowd puller.

Can You Tell Me Whats Wrong With You?

For a few years in the 90's we lived out in Hamad Town. This is a govt housing complex that just seems to go on and on without end. There are 22 sections of housing, or neighborhood type settings, and we lived in the 19th section. We were among the first families in that particular area...and only second family on my street...we did not own a car at that time nor have a phone...and neither did our Syrian neighbors. It was a sort of new found freedom for me as I could actually go outside and enjoy the sunshine etc...something I couldnt do in my MIL's house because of its design etc. I could take a chair and sit out in front of my house as very few cars even drove by. It had a sort of desolate and isolated feeling to it and because we didnt have a car...very very far from anywhere...it was during this period of time that I discovered I was allergic to ant bites...particularly the solid little (not so little) black ones that could be found everywhere. Picture this...

For most of my life (up til the time of this event) I had been a pretty healthy person. Never found myself in the hospital for anything more serious then delivering my babies. Oh I had a case of food poisoning now and then just like most everyone else...but nothing that ever left me feeling as if my very life was hanging in the balance. The interesting thing about discovering I was allergic to ant bites...was that I had been bitten by them many times before in the years I lived in Bahrain without nothing more then a red swollen bump and some mild pain to show for my suffering. All that changed one afternoon while I was taking a nap on a cushion on the floor.

I woke up feeling a sharp pain on my leg and when I investigated the source I
discovered some large swellings like in this picture...and a black ant smooshed
against my skin. Within just a few moments of waking I started experiencing one

of the worst sensations I have ever known....an
extremely intense and horrible itching feeling all over my body...it felt as if a million and one little creepy crawlies were under my skin and having a party of sorts. It was absolutely horrendous and there are hardly adequate words to describe the intense desire to actually scratch open your skin and get the "buggers" out.

Every part of my skin was alive with that crawly itchy feeling and it was then I realized those couple of small swellings had spread throughout my entire body. I had welts from top to bottom...which made it impossible to scratch as everything was tender to the touch. Having no idea exactly what was going on I shouted to my husband who came to see what I was fussing about.

He took one look at my face and nearly passed out. I didnt realize it but of course my face was busy swelling up too. He pulled me up and dragged me over to a wall mirror and the beast that was reflected back at me was the stuff that nightmares are made of. My eyes were swollen, my lips looked like I had botoxed the hell out of them and my entire face was just a mish mash of lumps and bumps...it was then I realized my tongue was swelling up to...along with my throat.

At this point Im fairly sure not more than 3 or 4 minutes had passed from the time I woke up from the sting...to when I was standing in front of the mirror...and yet I looked like something that belonged in a freak show....but none of that worried me half as much as the fact that I was finding it harder and harder to breath properly....my throat was closing up.

My husband went in search of a car (no neighbors remember and no phone) while I put some clothes on as best I could. By the time he came back having found a rare car passing through our neighborhood...my breath was literally whistling through my very small windpipe. It was here that I felt the stirrings of potential death looming over me...we all need to breath to live right...and my ability to breath was being seriously threatened...and we were far from anywhere...far from the nearest hospital. I was freaking out big time.

On the way to the hospital I was alternating between trying to concentrate on breathing...and not scratching myself to death. Everywhere on me was on fire and I wanted to tear my clothes off...and then my skin!!! By this time my tongue had swollen so much I actually could not close my mouth around it nor swallow very well. I had tears streaming down my swollen eyes that were nearly closed completely and even my hearing was affected so I assume inside my ears had swollen as well. It took around 20 min to reach the hosp and by this time I couldnt walk due to the swollen state of my feet...so my husband ran to find a wheelchair.

Once he had me inside he left me with a nurse while he dashed off to sign me in and get my paperwork. Up till this point in my life I had never seen anyone suffering from an allergic reaction other than the comedic routines you might see on tv that make fun of the face swellings etc...none of those had ever shown the really dangerous side of allergic reactions...the potential fatal aspect of it due to anaphylatic shock (the result of your body fighting against the allergen by flooding the body with histamine..which results in the extreme swelling of all soft tissues etc)...for many people, from the onset of the allergen entering the body to the inability to breath etc it can take mere moments and if immediate medical attention is not sought and an adrenalin and anti histamine injection given to reduce the swelling and other symptoms...the reaction can be fatal. Up to this point in my very short life as an allergy patient suffering from anaphylatic shock...I assumed the nurse standing before me would immediately understand what had happened, what was happening, and what needed doing about it...instead she looked at me with one of the most curious and puzzled looks Ive ever seen on a human face before and said...

"can you tell me whats wrong with you?"

Uh what? Isnt that your job...Im just the helpless victim here who cant answer you even if I wanted too because my tongue has swollen so much there is no room for adequate speech. My hands flying up to my face indicating my inability to speak did not apparently register properly with her as she asked me the same question several times. Ditto with the hangs clasped around my throat indicating I couldnt breath propely....nothing.

Now I dont want to make light of this situation (all though now I can almost laugh about it...almost) but it really just seemed like something out of an In Living Color episode. Something Jim Carey would have been doing some crazy skit over...you know...nearly dying patient...crazy mixed up doctor (nurse) and hilarity had by all...except nobody was laughing...least of all me.

My husband thankfully showed up at this time and gave the nurse her much sought after answer then asked her if she was sure she was a nurse? Again with the confused look on her face...ok whatever...just wheel me to the REAL medical expert so I can get some actual medical aid for Gods sake!!

Thankfully the doctor took one look at me and immediately ordered the anti histamine and adrenalin shots and an IV etc and I spent the next 2 hours under observation to make sure my airway didnt close completely and all was fine. It didnt and I was so I went home. All though all the swelling had pretty much gone down by this time the bitten area on my leg was extremely tender and painful and would remain so for about a week.

I had never been so scared in my life as I was that day. Not being able to draw a breath has got to be one of the most frightening experiences for anyone to go through and I wouldnt want anyone to find out the truth of that statement. I immediately went and researched all I could about allergic reactions and what I could do if it happened again.

One of the best lines of defense against allergic reactions is to have one of these Epi-pens. Immediately upon realization that you have been bitten you can self
inject (or have someone else do it if you cant) and it gives you a dose of adrenalin which will help fight against the massive swelling etc. until you can get to the hospital. I went to the doctor in order

to be prescribed one and discovered they dont have them in Bahrain. Considering how fast someone could die from anaphylatic shock....and the odds that there must be lots of people in Bahrain that are allergic to something...I was surprised and rather angry that this life saving medical aid wasnt made available here. I did find out it was available in Saudi but had no way to get it personally (husband wasnt the sort to go out of his way to save my life...going to Saudi was out of his way).

This meant of course that every time I have been bitten in Bahrain by one of those black ants I have had to suffer varying degrees of an allergic reaction. Sometimes its fairly mild...with maybe just intense itching etc..or other times just some mild swelling (Ive gotten pretty good at determining just how strong or mild a reaction will be as my body lets me know literally withing 20 to 30 seconds whether or not I need to seriously hustle to the nearest hospital) but at least 4 times I have had to be rushed to the hospital with full blown anaphylatic shock in progress and count myself lucky that I made it in time..each time.

This last visit to the states I actually remembered to go see a local doc and he prescribed me the Epi Pen...two of them actually since its not available here...but Ive only got one as they are expensive and I couldnt afford both at the time...but I count myself lucky to have that one...it could be the difference between life and death for me...now all I have to do is wonder if I will have the nerve to jab my thigh with it when and if the time comes...Im thinking not!!! Ouch!

*side note* after that first harrowing encounter with anaphylatic shock...I went home exhausted and scared out of my mind praying that I never had to go through that again...as fate would have it (oh you fickle fate)...the VERY NEXT DAY I was back in the hospital having been bitten on the arm while sitting on the couch. At least that time the nurse I saw took immediate action and I was able to avoid the comedic routine...sigh.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Punch!!!...pt 2

So there I was...standing in the door way looking first from one hostile face to another (this would be SIL and oldest teen daughter) and then to Chief of Police, who had a very neutral look which he was perusing me with...but a very sharp glint in his eyes. I cannot describe even close to adequate the very nauseous feeling I had that things were going to get worse before they got better. At least I got to pee first...theres that!!!

I was invited to sit down, which I did with a great deal of hesitancy...sort of like sitting down reduced drastically my opportunities for escape...if only. At this point I was wondering if "pleading the 5th" was an acceptable answer for any or all questions that were going to start coming my way...hmmmm?

All this time daggers of outrage were being thrown my way with deadly accuracy by SIL who was no doubt contemplating the many ways she would make me pay for not staying put in the car. Im not a mind reader by nature but it wasnt hard to understand what she was thinking...if looks could kill and all that. Of course she was probably secretly happy that I was there...now the interfering foreign wife that she never wanted or agreed to for her brother was possibly going to get either thrown in jail or deported...or both...oh happy days!! Like I said...wasnt hard to read her face.

Im wondering at this point just what those two had told the Police Chief up to this point...the thing about being the late comer to the party...you have no idea what happened before you arrived and why everyone is either celebrating the greatness of the "never to be forgotten" party...or totally pissed off and several divorces have been announced due to excessive drinking and forbidden advances and invitations given.

Police Chief was sitting there looking at me with both hands under his chin...both of his index fingers pressed against his mouth as if in deep contemplation. It must have been a full minute before he said a word to me....and his English was pretty damn good (something I wasnt use to back then as many adults were not taught adequate English way back in the day...whatever).

Anyhow, his first question to me was whether or not I knew these two ladies sitting here beside me. My mind quickly searched for the pros and cons of admitting my relationship with them (such as it was) and as much as I would love to have answered "I have no friggin clue who they are...I just wandered in to use the bathroom"...I figured he might be just good enough at his job to see right through that...damn. So I slowly said....yeeeees! and crossed my fingers.

Second question was whether I knew what had happened and what I had seen. Hmmm? Tricky because I didnt know what they had said...mine field here...tread lightly. So I did the only thing I thought would get me out of this precarious position with freedom still an option...I told the truth...up to a point...lol.

I told him that there had been arguing and shouting and lots of drama but that I didnt understand Arabic adequately enough to really know what all the screaming was about. I just stood back and watched...a helpless bystander to the unfolding events. Once again his fingers came up to cover his mouth and he studied me again for a moment or two. *breath in...breath out....slooooowly*

I realize that there is a large portion of the American public that have never ever travelled outside the country and really have no clue what it means to be THE foreigner under police scrutiny. Thoughts of jail is the least of your worries. Bahrain has a rep for not being too kind with its foreign criminals when it comes to crimes committed against nationals. It matters very little if the national "started it" etc...what ever "it" was...as the foreigner you are guilty...plain and simple. (it has improved somewhat this 23 years...but not a whole lot). So while I knew that lying could very well end me in more hot water then telling the truth...I decided I would risk it (dont ask my why...Im known for making very bad decisions...story of my life and all that).

When he asked me did I know anything about the man that had been punched in the nose...I did my best innocent look (Im told its not that great...sigh) and said Im not sure...everything was so crazy...and dark...and lots of people...and an ice cream truck drove by...that sort of distracted me...and I was thinking about what I would cook for dinner...so theres that....and the point Im making if you havent caught it yet is that I was babbling...because Im not a very good liar at the best of times...and this certainly wasnt a good time for it.

Again the two index fingers came up to the mouth...and he studied me some more.
He asked me some other questions...how long had I been in Bahrain...did I like it (not a good question to ask me under the current circumstances eh?) ...did I miss America and was I positive I knew nothing about the assault. He threw that last one in there sneakily like I wouldnt notice and answer without thinking....but my brain was buzzing from all the careful thinking I was engaged in..Not catching me that easy...you gotta work to trip me up...mewwwwahhhhh!!! Im just saying...sigh.

Answer answer answer...breath in and out...blink a few times...try and control heart rate...and count the seconds until I simply passed out from anxiety.

The Chief asked a few more questions about the incident...what I thought was going on...did I understand any of what was being shouted...and did I know anything about the guy punched in the nose. (again with the sneaky question)....answer answer answer...breath breath breath...!!!...all the while in the back of my mind was the very doable fantasy of me making a run for the door...grabbing a taxi...speed like mad to the house and grab my kid, passports and head for same airport I had excitedly visited a few hours before...and rush through customs and get safely on the plane before these clowns could even scratch their heads and or think about reacting...I could totally do it...totally!!!

Now at some point it dawned on me that this Chief was no idiot...he knew very well that I was the one that had punched the man in the face...all though at this point he hadnt actually asked me directly if I had indeed punched the guy in the nose. I found that odd when I thought about it the next day. (I found out later that the man in question was already in the police station screaming about a crazy English lady that had assaulted him for no reason)...it didnt take a genius to add 2 and 2 and get 4...just how many "English" ladies were present in the parking lot and had anything remotely to do with the incident? Im guessing just 1...anyone else? I also realized that the sharp glint in his eye was also tinged with a touch of humor...could it be he didnt want to ask me directly because my answer would require him to act? Could it be he was sitting there thinking the guy maybe deserved it and punching an ass in the nose shouldnt be a punishable offense but deserving of a medal of some sort (wishful thinking I know)...could it be he just saw the humor of it all and wasnt willing to take it further which would require loads of paperwork and inquiries and me being a foreigner lots of other work that just wasnt worth it...Im thinking that one.

Anyhow...after a few more minutes of fingers on mouth reflection he said I could leave. Huge sigh of relief...I had to stop myself from running willy nilly out the door like a convict that had just realized someone had left the key in the lock for whatever reason...I thanked him...excused myself...and with as much dignity and self control as I could muster...I walked out of his office and made for the door.

Just about made it too...only another 5 feet and I would have been home free. Turns out my timing was a bit off and ex-boyfriend had just come into the lobby from his interrogation and spotted me (not that hard to do with all things considered...blazing red hair tends to not blend into...well anything...that well). He immediately started screaming and pointing his finger (the other hand was clutched over his injured nose that was covered in gauze of some sort...found out later that I had actually broken it...thats sorta cool all things considered) All though the Police Chief wasnt around just then the lobby had several other cops standing around trying not to stare at me...Im guessing that since none of them immediately came after me that they were assuming if Police Chief let me go then I must be "innocent" (snigger) and so the guy could scream all he wanted...I was free to go....and go I did. No telling what would have happened if Police Chief had come out just then...hard to ignore the evidence when the "victim" is screaming and pointing at the "criminal".

I got outside and hightailed it for the car and jumped in wishing I had the keys and to hell with how SIL and oldest teen daughter got home. Younger teen daughter was all worked up wondering how long my prison sentence was going to be and how come I wasnt wearing cuffs and all that...she had a warped sense of humor that one. I just sat there with pounding heart and equally pounding headache...and oh yeah...I had to pee again!!

Within a few minutes SIL and oldest teen daughter came out and got in the car with a bang and some ugly looks thrown my way (Im use to them ladies...Im rubber your glue and all that...nah nah nah) and headed for home. Nobody spoke which surprised me...I assumed I was in for an ass kicking...this was different.

It was about this time that I realized my hand was actually hurting quite alot. It was then I remembered that it had been aching for awhile now...I just hadnt had time or desire to focus on it...you know..impending prison sort of erases all other concerns out of your mind. I examined it and only then noticed the pretty bloom of blues and blacks all around it...especially around my pinky finger. Nicely swollen too. Could it actually be sprained...broken? Interesting thought.

At this point SIL looked over and noticed my hand as well. Now there have been very few moments in our long 23 year relationship in which she offered me any sort of kindness...whether in word or deed...so I was completely floored when she asked if I thought I needed to go to the hospital. Hmmmm? This sounded like a trick question...but I obviously needed to go so agreed that I did.

Awhile later when the doctor asked me how this happened I had a moment of panic wondering if she would call the cops when I confessed that I had just punched a national in the nose...ach! oh what tangled webs we weave when we desire to deceive....sigh! So instead I told her I fell down...simple enough. Then she looked at me like maybe I was an abused housewife and so poor me. I was willing to be viewed as a beaten housewife at that moment more than at any other time in my life...just put on the cast and let me go home. She did eventually and home we went.

It was 4 in the morning...a simple trip for some unneeded shopping had turned into something movies are made of...I had a cast on my hand (and was wondering what the Chief would have made of it if he had noticed my injured hand...maybe he did)...the added hatred of SIL piled on my head...and husband to contend with when he found out about this incident. I might add here that husband was in the military back in those days and because of the Gulf War was forced to stay at the base...so he wasnt actually home when we got home...lucky me...for now.

It was then that SIL asked me to please not inform husband of what had happened because, while she would no doubt gain immense pleasure at my ass being kicked by him...her daughter would also be "outed" for the "slut" that she was and that certainly wouldnt do. She didnt actually use those words but I got the point. I had no problems with keeping that particular adventure to myself...to my grave if need be...

Unfortunately what we plan for isnt always what we get...story of my life.

*to be continued

Dont Look Down When the Sun Comes Up

My youngest daughter and middle son just celebrated bdays. Her 15th and his 17th. I was just sitting here wondering how it came to be that they are that old? Wasnt it just yesterday they were running through the house half naked with coloring markers all over themselves and nice artwork left on the walls for Mommy to admire...and clean off? God how I miss their childhoods.

Anyhow, it got me to thinking about the past and suddenly a memory came up that I hadnt thought of in quite awhile. I realize looking back that its rather a miracle that the 3 of us are here.

See, one night, around 13 years ago, with a full bright moon and crispy snow on the ground...we nearly went into the black. Picture this...

Has anyone driven through Wyoming up into Montana during the winter? Its got to be some of the more treacherous driving there is...especially considering Montana doesnt have a speed limit on the open highways(at least they didnt 13 years ago...not sure about now). Put the lead down to your hearts content...just remember once your into Wyoming...better slow down. The highway patrol in the big square state dont take kindly to scraping speeders off the highway just over the border from Montana....anyhow....

I had been staying with my older sister for a few weeks down in Wyo (grew up there you know) and had to return to Montana on the spur of the moment (was living there at the time). I didnt really have time to prepare for the trip adequately being in a hurry (thats another story...the reason for the haste) and couldnt make arrangements for the two younger ones to be looked after so was forced to take them with me. I threw two laundry baskets of clean clothes in the car...some snacks and necessities for the kids and off I went. It was to be one of the most heart stopping nights of my life...no lie.

I can no longer remember the highway numbers and road names etc (40 year old brain full of sand) so dont ask me exactly where I was when I took the wrong turn. Considering I had driven that route before a few times Im not even sure how I managed to make the wrong turn...but there it is...fate, destiny, the Hand of God...or maybe just two noisy kids in the back seat distracting me....whatever.

By this time it was around 11 pm and the night was cold and crispy with a beautiful full moon lighting up the road...which was becoming increasingly more narrow and headed upwards. It was about here that I realized things didnt look right so suspected I needed to turn around and retrace my steps...see where things went wrong. Well things were about to get much worse.

Im well aware that driving on snow is a dangerous activity at the best of times...but throw in unfamiliar territory, shaken nerves (reason for the trip), and the late hour...and its all you need to make a mistake. My mistake was to hit the brakes just a little too hard in order to slow down and turn around....I immediately went into a slide. I actually wasnt going that fast to begin with because I knew I was headed the wrong way so probably wasnt doing more then 30 at the time...but it was fast enough to put the car into a slide...and we were headed straight for the side of the road....that was pitch black.

The car did a complete turn and I had just enough time to think, Oh God!!! before slamming up against a snowbank...and came to a stop with the car tilted just awkwardly downward...with snow piled up against my drivers door. I nearly screamed at the prospect of the snow giving way and the car continuing its slide over the side...which, as I mentioned was pitch black. I couldnt see anything out my window except blackness. I couldnt see where the snow bank ended...if there were trees...if there was a ditch running along the road...nothing. The not knowing what was out there is a terrifying feeling ...believe me. Imagination going full throttle and all.

My heart was literally pounding out of my chest...I didnt dare to breath believing any sort of movement would start the car sliding again. I actually held my breath (without realizing it of course) until I nearly passed out...and had to let it go in an explosive release...which literally scared the shit out of me (dont believe me...just wait)...and I waited with breath held again to see if the car would stay put or not.

I dont really know how long I sat there without moving a single muscle...I was breathing in shallow breaths...trying not to even let my diaphragm be the deciding factor that tipped the scales in favour of gravity. I couldnt even reach out to put the car in park...the fact that it was still in drive terrified me and I slowly....ever so slowly, slid my foot away from the pedal believing I would accidentally hit the accelerator and that would be that. And I just sat there...my mind utterly blank as to what to do...how to save myself and my two small children...who were incidentally asleep in the back seat. To say that I was thankful for that small miracle is no lie...can you imagine if those two toddlers had been awake...there is no way I could have kept them from bouncing around in the car...the result of that too horrifying to contemplate....I prayed they would stay asleep...and for the ingenuity of Mcgyver to get us out of this danger. I was blank...and on the verge of a mental melt down.

Im thinking at least an hour passed before I got up the nerve to reach across and put the car in park. I did it so slowly...like a expert bomb diffuser...sweat dripping and breath shallow. For some reason I felt safer with the car in park...dont ask my why..probably just because I felt like I had DID something. Action is always better than inaction you know. So then I sat there for another hour or so (I think...who knows).

It was then I noticed the gas gauge was nearly on empty. My God if the gas ran out it was going to be horribly cold in the car in no time...and I hadnt brought blankets etc thinking I wouldnt need them. Now I vacillated between plunging to our deaths (depending on the incline) or freezing to death in the car and nobody finding us till Spring. I hadnt seen a single car come by up to this point obviously.

Now, this is the somewhat funny part (its been a riot so far right)....I had to go to the bathroom...seriously. Remember earlier when I said I got the shit scared out of me...that was no lie folks...I very nearly shit my pants when faced with the prospect of going over the side of the road into the black...up till then I had ignored the fact that I seriously needed to defecate if I didnt want to add one more misery to my night by shitting in my pants. I know it sounds crazy now...but hey...it was a crazy night.

So I sat there for another good half hour wondering if there was anyway I could maneuver myself out of the car in order to relieve myself...and of course that could entail risking moving the car enough to jostle it loose from the snow bank. Not to mention Im not the most athletic person in the world...so getting my ass across the seat to the passengers side and getting the door open seemed akin to climbing Mount Everest. Making that first move was torture...

Dont know how long it took me but I eventually got myself over there...with much pausing and holding of breath to see what the car was going to do about my recent clumsy move...it held. Once I got myself situated by the passenger door...I contemplated the act of opening it...and disturbing the balance of the car...and then thought about hefting myself out of the car...and disturbing the balance some more. I know this all sounds bizarre now...but I was burning up some braincells thinking about all the "what ifs" (theres that damn game again). Heres a truly strange thought....what the hell would I do even if the car started going over? Both the kids were in the back seat asleep...the sheer speed and dexterity I would need to throw myself out...open their door and drag them both out was something Im sure only Tom Cruise or Van Disel could manage with any hope of succeeding. In a bizarre way I felt as if I was protecting them by being in the car with them...but as soon as I got out of it they would be vulnerable to...it didnt bear thinking about....but I seriously needed to GO. I eased myself out....

The car stayed put....I stood there for a few moments looking at them sleeping in the back seat...seriously considering taking them out to remove them from the danger of going over with the car....but it was freezing outside. Already my teeth were chattering and the cold was seeping into my feet through my shoes. At least in the car they were warm...as long as the gas held out. I left them and went to the back of the car...to do my business and to try and determine just how deep in the shit we were...no pun intended. Pulling your pants down in the middle of the night on a moon shined snowy road thats so quiet all you hear is the crunch of your shoes in the snow is truly awesome...no lie. You still have the feeling someone is going to come along and catch you with your pants down...even though you feel like your completely alone in the world...and likely to stay that way. Eerily enough...I felt like hundreds of eyes were watching me...well it was the "wild" so who knows.

I checked the side of the car but it was completely black on that side...all I could see was the wonky angle of the car...and snow up to the door...nothing at all down the side of the road. I walked back to the passenger door and thought about getting back into a car that might likely plummet me to my death...but the fact that my two children were in there cast my hesitation away...I had no choice...it was too cold...and if they woke up I needed to keep them as still as possible. I eased back in...and sat there...for around 2 hours I believe...dont ask me what was going through my mind...I have no idea. Then the car turned off...the gas had run out.

In barely half an hour I was shaking with chattering teeth...shock no doubt contributing to my rapid decline...but amazingly the kids were still asleep and seemed to be warm enough...all cuddled up to each other.

I was seriously starting to wonder if anyone used this road other than ignorant white woman who headed out on the road with two toddlers without adequately preparing for the trip or paying attention to where she was going? By 6 am the sun was just starting to distinguish the day from the night. We had made it through the night...but how long until someone came down this road...and my God I was cold!!

It was about this time that I heard a truck coming and before long I could see its lights. We were saved!!! Yay us!!! Thank God. I carefully eased out of the car again and waited for my would be saviors to crest the hill...turns out that two early morning hunters had decided to take this road to a good hunting location...yes folks...somehow or another I had managed to get myself onto a little used hunting road...dont ask me how cause I dont know either. The men were peering at me out the window of their truck as if they had came across some new species of deer...I was momentarily warmed by the flush of embarrassment that shot through me....but was willing to look the fool just to get the children and myself the hell off that mountain. It was then the sun came up enough to get a good look at where we had spent the night...Turns out the snowbank was the only thing keeping my car from plunging off into a gorge that went straight down a good few hundred feet. Now I was really feeling warm...I guess thats what impending heart attacks do...warm ya up all nice and toasty...ya think?

I quickly got over my embarrassment and got the kids out with as much grace and composure as I could...they were just waking up...and were excited to find themselves in such a pretty place...and boy it was beautiful...any other day and I might actually enjoy taking in the view...not today!!!

The hunters actually asked very few questions all though Im sure they were a hell of a lot more curious then they let on...maybe they were use to finding lost mothers on the side of mountains precariously balanced over the edges of cliffs...I dont know...sounds like a regular hunting trip to me. They bundled us up in the truck...took us back down the mountain (yes I had manged to drive up a mountain...still...dont ask me how)...and located a tow truck to sort my car out.

So looking back...I realize what a lucky night that was...so many things could have gone wrong (other than the obvious of getting lost) but it worked out...Im thinking that if I had been aware of just what was waiting for us in that dark abyss...I might not have stayed in the car...I would have freaked out and dragged the kids out no doubt...and who knows what would have happened then....but the dark hid the danger....and I stayed put in the warmth of the car...and Im still here...and the kids are still here...they dont even remember it of course...they were too young...but I certainly do.

So happy bday (belatedly) my son...my daughter...Im so glad and thankful your both still here with me...and that Im still here for you. Love you.

Side note....thats one good reason to be happy there is no snow in Bahrain...could you imagine the driving here then?

Dejavu' in the worst way!

I find it absolutely horrifying that I only just mentioned our house burning down when I was a teenager in a previous postwhen lightening struck again...my mothers house burned down yesterday. Thank God she was over here at my sisters house when it happened as Im not sure she would have been able to get out...apparently neighbors said it went up like a torch and was completely gone in no time. She has lost everything for the second time in her life...I cant imagine what she is going through. She was more upset that her cat got caught inside when normally he prefers to be outside...she feels guilty for not shooing him out as she usually does when she leaves. She is shell shocked...and I dont have a clue what to say that will penetrate her fog and make even the slightest difference to her.

On top of this horrible event I was even more disgusted at the way the whole area was full of people sitting down and chatting, smoking etc watching a womans life reduced to cinders...I even heard a few cold hearted jokes about there being a burn ban in Texas...really people!...I just dont understand the human tendency to revel in other peoples tragedies...I realize these people could most likely have doen nothing to save her house...but why sit around like it was a day at the park cracking jokes such as that...for what purpose? To lighten the mood? I just wanted to scream at them all to go away and come back when they had a bit more compassion rather than jokes...!

So here we are...Im newly arrived in Texas trying to start over from scratch...no car, no job (till my SSN comes in) and no place to live (cant rent or anything without a job or down payment etc)...so Im staying with my sis in a crowded little house...7 of us....and now my mom is homeless and for sure she could stay with us but the house is bursting at the seams as it is...I feel alot of resentment is already brewing at the forced crowding etc...adding one more could be the straw on the camels back so to speak. We are making calls fast and furious trying to find arrangements for her...for us...but there seems to be nothing. Everything is for sale...nothing for rent. I feel my head is about to explode from all of this...I feel bad in so many ways...I cant help but think..."whats gonna happen next to us"....damn!

And for sure in the back of my head...always always playing over and over...did I do the right thing by moving here....so far it doesnt look good.

One of those Days....arggghhhh!

Ever have one of those days where you wonder if some sort of conspiracy has been plotted against you by man and nature alike? A day when, from the moment you open your eyes and the cat jumps on your chest causing all necessary oxygen to leave your body....you realize its probably gonna be a bad day and to dive back under the covers is your only means of escape?

A day when you bang your toe on the way to the bathroom(mother...f**ck!) drop your toothbrush on the floor(gross!)...notice a few more wrinkles(arrgghh!!) and suddenly remember your clothes meant for work were not ironed last nite in favor of watching a re run of Americas Funniest Animals?(still makes me laugh second time around...but still...sh*t!)

A day when every kid in the house decides nothing short of a water cannon will budge them from their beds(WAKE UP!)....and one reminds you that today is sports day and you didnt wash his sport clothes yet(think anyone will notice they came out of the laundry...a few sprays of perfume and wallah!) and that you didnt remember to buy some lunch items for them and are forced to give them money which you know will be spent on junk(bad mom!)?

A day when you realize that no matter where in the hell you park your Jeep that little magnet imbedded somewhere in it that attracts all other objects of a sizable nature is just too strong to outwit and a scratch a day is something you just gotta suck up(Holy F**K!)?

A day when the usual number of Formula 1 Kamakazee drivers has multiplied significantly and are all seemingly unable to resist the pull of the magnet in you Jeep...evasive action while driving should be an Olympic Sport(I've got the gold baby!)

A day when you arrive to find you desk...or not find it...under a pile of paperwork that probably saw the destruction of an entire forest somewhere(whens my vacation...sigh!) and you drop every single thing that comes into contact with your hand(even gravity has it out for me...yikes!) and when your finally ready to have a break and enjoy lunch...you remember you gave all your money to the kids...so you have nothing(damn...but good for the never ending diet...any one got some gum?)?

A day when the clock defies all concept of time and fails to advance sufficiently to give you hope that this day does have an ending(a few taps just to make sure its still working...damn...it is) and last but not least...that much hoped for bonus that was due this month is suddenly the hot topic making the rounds....it would seem the Big Boss might be cancelling it this year(OMG!! somebody shoot me now!!!)...

So there I am sitting at my desk contemplating the necessary death of the next person that requires anything in the least bit irritating to me...head in my hands trying to search my soul for one redeeming thing to make this day worth the herculian effort it has taken to get through it(very deep search) when my mobile rings(Oh Lord what now?)...whats this?...(head lifted)...Ive won something?(eyes open)...yes, I did put my name in for that( heart beating rapidly)...wow! are you for real!!(smiling from ear to ear)...I won a trip for two to Duabi....all expenses paid...5 star hotel...spa treats ....the works?!...yes yes yes...I will be coming over to claim my prize tomorrow...yes thank you and thanks for the call.

I knew there was a reason I got out of bed this morning...just another one of those days! See you all in Dubai....yahoo!

*can someone find me a copy of this months Bahrain Confidential...I cant find one any damn place and I want to see my name in there...my 5 minutes of fame and all that...lol!