I find it absolutely horrifying that I only just mentioned our house burning down when I was a teenager in a previous postwhen lightening struck again...my mothers house burned down yesterday. Thank God she was over here at my sisters house when it happened as Im not sure she would have been able to get out...apparently neighbors said it went up like a torch and was completely gone in no time. She has lost everything for the second time in her life...I cant imagine what she is going through. She was more upset that her cat got caught inside when normally he prefers to be outside...she feels guilty for not shooing him out as she usually does when she leaves. She is shell shocked...and I dont have a clue what to say that will penetrate her fog and make even the slightest difference to her.
On top of this horrible event I was even more disgusted at the way the whole area was full of people sitting down and chatting, smoking etc watching a womans life reduced to cinders...I even heard a few cold hearted jokes about there being a burn ban in Texas...really people!...I just dont understand the human tendency to revel in other peoples tragedies...I realize these people could most likely have doen nothing to save her house...but why sit around like it was a day at the park cracking jokes such as that...for what purpose? To lighten the mood? I just wanted to scream at them all to go away and come back when they had a bit more compassion rather than jokes...!
So here we are...Im newly arrived in Texas trying to start over from scratch...no car, no job (till my SSN comes in) and no place to live (cant rent or anything without a job or down payment etc)...so Im staying with my sis in a crowded little house...7 of us....and now my mom is homeless and for sure she could stay with us but the house is bursting at the seams as it is...I feel alot of resentment is already brewing at the forced crowding etc...adding one more could be the straw on the camels back so to speak. We are making calls fast and furious trying to find arrangements for her...for us...but there seems to be nothing. Everything is for sale...nothing for rent. I feel my head is about to explode from all of this...I feel bad in so many ways...I cant help but think..."whats gonna happen next to us"....damn!
And for sure in the back of my head...always always playing over and over...did I do the right thing by moving here....so far it doesnt look good.