Is anything ever going to change?

http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/NewsDetails.aspx?storyid=378559

Once again I open the GDN to read an unbelievable story about sexual abuse and the leniency the Bahrain Courts have when punishing perpetrators. A 15 year old and his uncle beat, raped, and filmed themselves while doing it because the man was engaged in a relationship with the 15 year olds mother. His words were, she was having a relationship “behind his back”. Since when do mothers need their children’s permission to have relationships? She is divorced and free, right? Ok let us make the poor excuse that this is an Arab country and so the mother needs her son’s permission to have a relationship (this is still Bahrain and not Saudi, right?), why did those two feel that a beating and rape while filming it was the correct course of action to take in order to bring this relationship to an end? The son claims it was his right to “honor beat” the man. Honor beat? Once again, what country is this? Since when did using the word “honor” become an acceptable excuse for beating and raping someone anywhere in the world but specifically Bahrain? I have lived here over 22 years and have never heard that word used as justification in court before. Is a new trend in extremism coming to Bahrain? Do residents here now have to fear that at any moment an attack will ensue based on “honor”? Not only that but your day in court will be little more than another assault against you as the judge will view your beating and rape as merely an inconvenience to you because the defendant had to restore his family honor one way or another?  In all the years I have lived in Bahrain one of the constants that has never changed are the atrociously low sentences  (or slap on the wrists if you will) that child molesters and rapists earn for doing the most despicable thing one can do to another, much less a child. Not only did these men confess to what they did in court, it is obvious that they are dangerous men who use extreme measures to deal with their issues. What excuse will the courts give them when they show up once again having done something similar to some other victim (maybe the mother next time, in defense of honor) because human beings generally show you who they are but we often ignore it and assume the best in them.  If I were someone considering coming to Bahrain for work or travel and I read the local newspapers as a way to gauge what sort of country Bahrain was, imagine my thoughts when reading that expats might not be able to drive for much longer, that car accidents due to extremely poor and aggressive driving are a daily occurrence, that if your nationality is not the “right” one you may be treated as less than either physically, financially, or humanely, that animals are often abused and considered disposable, that beaches are garbage dump sites, that elected officials in this country spend copious amounts of time doing nothing more than coming up with ways to waste both time and money,  and that, worst of all, sexual crime is not a big deal and treated lightly by the Bahrain Court system. The Bahrain government has spent a lot of money and effort in convincing the rest of the world that everything is fine here in order to get tourists and business back on board after events over the past couple of years and yet for anyone that has even the smallest interest in coming to Bahrain, all that effort is wasted with just a few minutes spent reading a local newspaper. All the money in the world and the best P.R. firm cannot undo that kind of damage.  

Potentially Exciting News...

Since my return to Bahrain I have been looking for avenues in which to use my writing in ways that will both interest me and possibly pay me as well. I've been looking for jobs in that area but so far haven't been successful; however, last night a whole new potential direction was opened up to me. 

Bahrain has a writer's club of which I only recently discovered. It is actually called, Bahrain Writers' Circle, and we all met last night during the first meeting of this new year. They have been a club for a few years now and a speech by one of the leaders gave a run down of all that they have done and hope to do again this year. Among other things, they have an agreement with Bahrain's Ministry of Culture to present the works of local writers' during Bahrain's many cultural venues held through out the year. This particular man expertise is poetry and he explained how they do poetry readings at the national forts scattered around Bahrain. Apparently he teaches the readers to read with real emotion and flair in order to engage the listener. He detailed how all the poetry is gathered and published in a book and presented to the Ministry of Culture. He also said that he truly hopes that at least one person in that meeting will make something of their writing using all that this club has to offer in way of support and opportunity. Apparently several of the longer term members have done some amazing things they credit the club with and others are equally as hopeful in that endeavor. It sounds exciting to me even though I have never really been much into poetry. I might give it a try simply for the experience factor. 

I met a young lady that wrote and published her own book here in Bahrain and she started with just 500 copies and they flew off the shelves so she is on her second print already. The book is the first fiction novel written by an English writer and published in Bahrain while also being based in Bahrain. Arabs are not big on publishing English books so most would be writers must look outside the gulf to find someone to publish their book. She used a local publishing firm and basically they printed the manuscript out as is, meaning, no proof reading, or editing other than what she did herself. She wrote in on Microsoft Word so it printed out quite badly, yet nobody at the press bothered to inform her of that until all 500 copies were printed. Apparently that didn't stop the buyers though as she sold most of the copies the first day it was released.  She acknowledges that basing it in Bahrain let her write freely because it is what she knows and buyers can connect with that as they live here and recognize every place she writes about. Of course that speaks to my personal experience as well so will definitely keep that in mind. I am impressed with her that she just decided to write a book, wrote it, sat on it for a number of years, then decided to just print it and see what happens. Good things happen to those that get off their ass and do it obviously. 

This club might be just what I've been looking for as far as getting my own dreams of publishing a book off the ground. I liked the people I met, the goals of the club as well as the many accomplishments they have already enjoyed considering they are just a small group of people that really like to write and present it to the public. I also liked the enthusiasm of the that one leader in particular, David Hollywood. He is from Ireland and so very gung ho about making every writer in that room famous somehow. Was hard not to be fired up by his energy levels alone. 

One very interesting thing was that I knew nobody in that room when I entered it but apparently my name preceded me (I joined the Facebook group a few weeks beforehand) as some of them knew who I was based on my writing to the paper etc.. That was quite something and made me feel rather proud. Always does when that happens. 

I do like the potential this group has to offer me in terms of getting some sort of foothold in the writing field and, of course, finding ways to entertain myself with a great group of people doesn't hurt either. I shall update as things progress. 

Even one-sided stories have two sides

Edited: Aha...they actually printed my letter and yet, as always, the better bits removed. *sigh* I see they took out the reference to journalist being held at the airports. Hmmm......

http://gulf-daily-news.com/ArchiveNewsDetails.aspx?date=03/03/2011&storyid=300950

Ok, the link isn't working but it's the gulf-daily-news.com March 3, 2011 letters section. Second letter down.



I've been reading a plethora of letters lamenting the one-sided views of recent events in Bahrain as depicted by the world media.

Apparently the writers believe that TV still remains the number one source of "fast breaking news". I would like to introduce these out-of-date writers to two fast breaking sources they may be unfamiliar with - Twitter and Facebook.

Anyone that has had an ounce of interest in what was happening, first in Tunisia, then Egypt, then Bahrain and now Libya, are aware of the power these sites have given the common man on the street - where all the action is taking place. Twitter has been full of people reporting being shot at by police while demonstrating peacefully - while it is happening! They report attacks, beatings, gunfire and so much bloodshed.

Twitter and Facebook are full of videos from the people right there, for the rest of the world to know what is happening.

Twitter followers and Facebook users have sat horrified at computers, watching events unfold as each new story, picture and video has brought to life the horrors the Middle East dictators have unleashed against their citizens.

We don't need BBC, CNN, Al Jazeera, etc to inform us, rightly or wrongly, of anything we can't find out from people there.

No longer can these rulers keep the truth from the world by blacking out the media and telling false stories of how events are unfolding (as they are still trying to do).

We are bystanders to these bloody revolutions going on as I write, but we are also witnesses, who may not be putting our lives in danger by facing trigger-happy government puppets, but we do what we can by sending on these tweets to everyone we can think of by linking our Facebook pages with pictures and videos so that the world can see the truth even if BBC and CNN choose to show something different.

You, as a viewer, have the option of choosing what you watch. If you think these media sources are one-sided, then join Twitter or Facebook if you haven't already and start following the people following those in the middle of the violence.

If you don't believe their first-hand accounts, then watch the videos. It is rather hard to Photoshop them while you are dodging gunfire.

You are not forced to watch these media. I can guarantee that most people around the world who want the truth - not some biased agenda seeking soap box, pearl-clutching version - are not watching them either. Be pro-active about what is unfolding rather than whine and moan about the unfairness of it. These people are protesting and willing to risk their lives due to the fact that "unfairness" permeates their lives. If they can do something about it, so can you. Lee Ann Fleetwood



I still read letters to the local paper in Bahrain and this past two weeks have been nothing but praise for the King and govt. while complaining vehemently about the one-sided media bias they accuse major news channels of displaying. After viewing Reem Antoon's completely clueless ramble in the Comment section of today's GDN http://gulf-daily-news.com/NewsDetails.aspx?storyid=300533 I couldn't maintain myself anymore and pounded out this letter in reply.

Now let's see if the GDN editor allows it. He is known for being a little one-sided himself.


Letter to the Editor

I've been reading the plethora of letters lamenting the one sided view of recent events in Bahrain as depicted by world wide media. Apparently these letter writers believe that T.V. still remains the number one news source for "fast breaking news". I would like to introduce these out of date letter writers to two fast breaking news sources that they may be unfamiliar with. Twitter and Facebook. Anyone that has had an ounce of interest in what was happening first in Tunisia, then in Egypt, and on to Bahrain and now Libya are fully aware of the power these two sites have given the common man or woman on the street. The street being where all the action is taking place. Twitter has been full of people reporting being shot at by police while demonstrating peacefully. While it is happening!!! They report attacks and beatings; gun fire and bloodshed...so much bloodshed. Twitter and Facebook are full of videos from those very same people who are RIGHT THERE and can video exactly what is going on and are demanding the rest of the world know it too. Twitter followers and Facebook users have sat horrified at computers watching events unfold as each new story, pic, and video has brought too life the horrors the dictators of the middle east have unleashed against their citizens. We do NOT need BBC, CNN, Al Jazeera etc to inform us, rightly or wrongly, of anything we can't find out for ourselves from those that are actually there. No longer can these corrupt rulers keep the truth from the world by blacking out news media (as they are still trying to do) and telling completely false stories of how events are unfolding (as they are still trying to do). We are bystanders to these bloody revolutions going on as I write this, but we are also witnesses, who may not be putting our own lives in danger by facing loaded guns and trigger happy government puppets, but we do what we can by sending on these tweets to everyone we can think of. By linking our Facebook pages with pics and videos so that the whole world can see the truth...even if BBC, CNN and, yes, even Bahrain TV, chooses to show something different. You, as a viewer, have the option of choosing what you watch. If you think those media sources are being one sided then take a moment to join Twitter, join Facebook if you haven't already and start following the people who are following those that are right there in the middle of the violence. If you don't believe their first hand accounts then watch the hundreds of videos. It is rather hard to photoshop those while your dodging gun fire.

You are not forced to watch those media sources and I can guarantee that most of the people around the world that really do want the truth and not some biased agenda seeking soap box pearl clutching version of it, are not watching them either. Be pro-active about what is unfolding rather than whine and moan about the unfairness of it all. The fact that these people are protesting and willing to risk their lives is due to the fact that "unfairness" permeates their lives. If they can do something about it so can you.

One more comment to make to Reem Antoon. She asked where all the foreign journalist were. Why we hadn't heard from them while the media was so busy being one-sided. I'm guessing they found it rather hard to report on what was really happening in Bahrain due to the fact they were not allowed to leave Bahrains Airport upon arrival. Yes, they were detained. No, that didn't stop them from telling the world that they were being prevented from entering Bahrain. Go figure. Wonder why that was?

Even one-sided stories have two sides.

Lee Ann Fleetwood

Give Me A Family ...Please?

http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/NewsDetails.aspx?storyid=256430

When you live in the Muslim/Arab world you have to get use to ONE fact straight away...even if your NOT Muslim OR Arab...unmarried sex is not ok.


Hold on, let me put that another way...getting caught having unmarried sex is not ok.


Wait...wait...let me try one more time. Getting caught having unmarried sex is NOT ok if you are female...especially if the consequences turn out that you get pregnant. God forbid a female gets pregnant over here without the sanctity of a marriage contract to make her baby all hilal and legal. All though I havent personally checked...I heard that, according to the law in Bahrain, it is in fact against the law to BE pregnant and not be married.


Sooooo...lets think about this for a minute. Men are given a certain amount of "permission" to have sex (since they are not held accountable then that is granting them permission in my books)...but when it comes to suffering the consequences of sex...women are the ONLY ones that ARE held accountable....and boy do they (we) suffer.


Lately, this past 2 years or so, there seems to be more abandoned baby news reports in the paper. I cant remember hearing about babies being abandoned in Bahrain when I first came here...but then again news reporting was a whole different ballgame back then. NOTHING bad ever happened. Lived in a right utopia we did. Miss those days....*sigh*.


Anyhow, the latest was this little baby boy in that news report. Officials havent determined his nationality yet...but havent hesitated (in follow up news reports) to shove all the blame onto the mother that abandoned this baby. As well as some comments by readers and by a leading figure here in Bahrain that supposedly helps women overcome difficulties. She was advised to open a shelter or place for unwed pregnant women to come to for help....and she flatly refused...declared that opening a shelter basically condoned unmarried sex and we as Muslims were not in the business of condoning unmarried sex...not to mention SHAME on those women who got involved in such things. Rather than try and have sympathy for these women...who might have been raped by a family member or stranger...or Hell...in the cases of housemaids etc...by their owners...ahem!...I mean employers. Not every pregnant woman on this planet got that way simply because she couldnt keep her legs closed.


She did not mention men in her article...did not mention educating Muslim men about having premarital sex...unprotected sex...or about STANDING by the woman they slept with when it turns out their night of passion (or moment of passion) resulted in life. Nope...all on the female. Females should guard their vaginas against the marauding hordes of penises that assault them from every direction and save themselves for just the ONE penis that is allowed entry...despite the fact that that ONE penis just might have entered numerous unguarded vaginas prior to hers...anyways...all on her.

I might also add that if a Bahraini girl finds herself pregnant (God help her) then not ONLY will she have to deal with her family (one can only hope she hasnt got "honor killing" believers in her family) she also has to GIVE UP her baby...no matter how she feels about it. There are NO unwed Bahraini mothers of newborn babies out there...just not a done or accepted thing. Her baby will be forcibly taken and placed in an orphanage whether she wanted it or not. Society will NOT allow her to keep that bastard baby and raise it like its NORMAL or something...nope...into the orphanage you go. You could have had at least ONE parent raise you that loved you and wanted you....but noooooo...society says bastards belong in orphanages...and then punish the mother for bringing one into the world...ALL BY HERSELF no doubt...cause we know the guy, the father....will NEVER be held accountable. On the off chance he makes the gallant choice to marry her...you can bet he will remind her all their married life how EASY she was prior to marriage...yeah...it happens...Ive seen and heard it...*sigh*.

Now,I digressed from the point I was making...the reason for this post... it turns out there have been quite a few expats here in Bahrain that came forward wanting to adopt this baby boy. They are willing to open their hearts and their homes to him...not knowing a thing about him....but thats the joy that babies bring into your lives...you love them...even when they are not yours. Spend a little time with a baby and you know what I mean. Not everyone wants to take a baby home that was abandoned, thats for sure, but some do...so why not let them?


Turns out the Bahrain govt is REFUSING to allow an expat to adopt this baby boy....doesnt allow expats to adopt ANY babies here in the Kingdom....and why is that? Shouldnt we be happy to see a baby...an abandoned baby at that...go to a loving home where it will have parents and possibly siblings and a life of love and companionship? Shouldnt we be happy to know this baby wont grow up in an orphanage alone and forgotten...nobody to call Mom or Dad...nobody to call their own? Shouldnt we want a baby to be loved by something more than the nurses that will change it and feed it and the orphanage workers that will make sure it has what is required for growth etc...but do nothing to make him feel loved?


Its not explicitly stated as such but of course the reason babies are not allowed to be adopted by expats is simply because the Muslim govt of Bahrain fears that baby might NOT be raised Muslim! Oh horrors!!! Better a baby is raised by employees in an orphanage then loving parents who might be, argh Christians...or even worse....ATHEISTS!!! *sigh*


As Muslims dont we believe that God leads people to Islam...how many converts are out there in the Islamic world today...whose parents WERE NOT Muslims...whose parents might very well have been completely against the idea of Islam and their child converting to Muslim...but that child still did...why? because its all in Gods hands...not ours.


For the govt of Bahrain to abandon this baby once again and force it to lead an unloved life in an orphanage simply to ensure it grows up Muslim is such a barbaric act against this baby....and not very Muslim like behavior at all.


It means they do not trust the Will of God...trust that if God has determined this baby should be Muslim...then it will be so...despite in which household it grows up in. Whose to say just because it grows up in a Muslim orphanage that it will turn out to be Muslim..if I grew up in such a situation and came to learn that people wanted to adopt me as a baby...wanted to love me and call me their child...but the govt of my country refused me a family...abandoned me to a life of loneliness and pain....and told me it was because MY (their) religion told them to do so...wouldnt I be somewhat antagonized by that fact...wouldnt I be somewhat rebellious towards that religion that required I grow up alone and without parents simply because Muslims themselves DO NOT adopt babies...because thats against Islam too...ironic isnt it?


The govt wont allow expats to adopt this little baby for fears it wont grow up Muslim....but Muslims wont adopt it because Muslims arent allowed to according to hadith etc...Muslims will view this innocent little baby as a bastard all his life....and will call him a bastard in general conversation as if its a title he acquired through a course of study at university...oh this is Bader...he works at Bapco...hes a bastard....believe me...Ive heard similar.


So a potential family would raise this baby to be a son...much loved and cared for...giving him their family name and all that that name entitles him too. Bahraini Muslims will call him bastard and refuse to allow their daughters to marry him because he has no standing, no family name...no lineage....but thats better for him then being raised something other than Muslim?

Now I realize that we should never encourage wanton sex, sex just for the sake of sex and all that...but we have to be grownups about this and understand that sometimes sex happens. With or without the consent of the female involved...it happens...and once sex happens there are numerous consequences that can occur..one of them being a pregnancy. Babies do not ask to be created...do not come into this world worrying about if their parents (and yes there are always 2 parents despite what many Muslims prefer to believe) were legally married and if their conception was wanted and anticipated...but here they are none the less and we should welcome them with open arms once they are here. A baby is NOT to be blamed for its existence and punished by calling it bastard and throwing it into an orphanage and enforced to lead a lonely life simply because that would be easier for US.

I dont get it...and apparently the Muslims Im surrounded by dont either...for the most part...again...*sigh*.

Shame on us...and may God forgive us our barbarity.

*I dont wish to make any assumptions as to why a woman would abandon her baby as Ive never been in that position to even consider it...but knowing this culture and what can happen to her...I can at least say I understand why she would be moved to make such a drastic choice. It cant be easy for her (ok for some women it might be easy...who knows) ...at any rate it was NOT the focus of my post.