Ever have one of those days where you wonder if some sort of conspiracy has been plotted against you by man and nature alike? A day when, from the moment you open your eyes and the cat jumps on your chest causing all necessary oxygen to leave your body....you realize its probably gonna be a bad day and to dive back under the covers is your only means of escape?
A day when you bang your toe on the way to the bathroom(mother...f**ck!) drop your toothbrush on the floor(gross!)...notice a few more wrinkles(arrgghh!!) and suddenly remember your clothes meant for work were not ironed last nite in favor of watching a re run of Americas Funniest Animals?(still makes me laugh second time around...but still...sh*t!)
A day when every kid in the house decides nothing short of a water cannon will budge them from their beds(WAKE UP!)....and one reminds you that today is sports day and you didnt wash his sport clothes yet(think anyone will notice they came out of the laundry...a few sprays of perfume and wallah!) and that you didnt remember to buy some lunch items for them and are forced to give them money which you know will be spent on junk(bad mom!)?
A day when you realize that no matter where in the hell you park your Jeep that little magnet imbedded somewhere in it that attracts all other objects of a sizable nature is just too strong to outwit and a scratch a day is something you just gotta suck up(Holy F**K!)?
A day when the usual number of Formula 1 Kamakazee drivers has multiplied significantly and are all seemingly unable to resist the pull of the magnet in you Jeep...evasive action while driving should be an Olympic Sport(I've got the gold baby!)
A day when you arrive to find you desk...or not find it...under a pile of paperwork that probably saw the destruction of an entire forest somewhere(whens my vacation...sigh!) and you drop every single thing that comes into contact with your hand(even gravity has it out for me...yikes!) and when your finally ready to have a break and enjoy lunch...you remember you gave all your money to the kids...so you have nothing(damn...but good for the never ending diet...any one got some gum?)?
A day when the clock defies all concept of time and fails to advance sufficiently to give you hope that this day does have an ending(a few taps just to make sure its still working...damn...it is) and last but not least...that much hoped for bonus that was due this month is suddenly the hot topic making the rounds....it would seem the Big Boss might be cancelling it this year(OMG!! somebody shoot me now!!!)...
So there I am sitting at my desk contemplating the necessary death of the next person that requires anything in the least bit irritating to me...head in my hands trying to search my soul for one redeeming thing to make this day worth the herculian effort it has taken to get through it(very deep search) when my mobile rings(Oh Lord what now?)...whats this?...(head lifted)...Ive won something?(eyes open)...yes, I did put my name in for that( heart beating rapidly)...wow! are you for real!!(smiling from ear to ear)...I won a trip for two to Duabi....all expenses paid...5 star hotel...spa treats ....the works?!...yes yes yes...I will be coming over to claim my prize tomorrow...yes thank you and thanks for the call.
I knew there was a reason I got out of bed this morning...just another one of those days! See you all in Dubai....yahoo!
*can someone find me a copy of this months Bahrain Confidential...I cant find one any damn place and I want to see my name in there...my 5 minutes of fame and all that...lol!