My first college semester is finally over...all I can say is...WTF!! Whose idea was that anyhow? I can't remember when I last I had such a hectic stressed filled few months....oh wait...I forgot. The last few months in Bahrain were seriously hectic right up until we were on the plane and heading down the runway. (how soon we forget) Anyhow...thought I would give you guys a run down of my highs and lows..up and downs...laughs and disasters...so to speak. This will be a mini series of sorts so it's not too long of a read.
Psychology class was amazing. I just loved my instructor and the class itself was informative and interesting. I looked forward to it every day and even had a few things that have happened in my life explained in a meaningful way. That's always a plus because most of what has happened never seemed to make much sense...at least not to me. Anyhow...the one draw back to the class were her exams. Those were some of the most difficult exams I can ever remember taking in my life. Even though they were multiple choice questions...she phrased them in ways that made every answer seem right...or wrong...but hardly ever had an answer that I could look at and say THAT's the answer. I really had to read those questions...sit and think about her lectures, my notes. the textbook etc...even my own life experiences sometimes...just to whittle the answers down to the one that looked the MOST right...LOL. It took me forever to take her tests. We had 7 exams in her class and then the final exam. Those 7 were a mix of A's B's and even one D. The first exam I took in college was one of hers..and it kicked my butt. That's the D and I was sooooo freakin mortified that I got that D. I have never failed a test in my life and I nearly failed that one. My first college exam. I was nearly ready to call it quits and tuck my tail and run. It was very demoralizing and required a monumental effort from me, and a few others that pep talked me back into the right frame of mind, to stick with it.
In her class if you maintain an A average your not required to take the final exam. I had that A right up until the last exam, the one I took after the weekend of the two robberies (argh) and so I dipped below an A...sucked big time. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for a Monday morn exam after that hectic weekend. I faced a 14 chapter final exam and knowing how hard her exams are (for me) and how long it takes me to work my way through them...I was seriously freakin out about it. Did I mention I was working 6 nights a week as well..so practically NO time to study..or even finish the few remaining bits of homework etc I had.
I went into that classroom with a plethora of mixed emotions...I was the last one out of that classroom having taken about 25 min longer than anyone else. I just KNEW I hadn't done as well as I had hoped. 75 questions...some were straight forward...answered those with a bit of confidence. Others were either or type questions...a little bit of hesitation on those...and then there were the totally unfamiliar ones...the type where your brain insist you simply did NOT have that subject in your class...she threw that in there to screw with you. You know those types..there seemed to be A LOT on the test....argh!!! I skipped over those....leaving them for later. Eventually had to face them..hence me being the last one out. I spent quite a bit of time on those because sometimes her questions are really tricky. A key word that is easy to overlook can be the answer your looking for...but if you miss it...you head off in the wrong direction and ...she has answers there for that wrong direction too. So tricky...she is evil.
Anyhow...got through...turned it in...took about 10 steps down the hall then remembered I forgot the extra credit question. Work out pi 20 places. I actually knew the answer to that as we had done it before...in her class and math class...so I COULD have gotten 10 extra points..which I felt I definitely could have used...but forgot about the whole thing. I was sooooo effing pissed at myself for that. Kicked myself for not focusing on such things that would help me...anyhow *sigh*...it was done for better or worse.
Most of the time we can walk away from an exam just knowing whether we did ok or not. With this psych exam I had NO clue how I did. Nothing. I ran home and checked some answers...for some reason I completely blanked most of the questions..couldn't remember them to save my life...so checked the ones I remembered. Turns out I missed at least 2 from those 20 or so I could remember. Not good odds at all. I was a mess thinking about that exam. One minute I was sure I did ok...a B at least...not bad. The next I was sure I failed it terribly. It was a roller coaster ride that had no end in sight.
The day the results were in I checked on-line for my grade..no luck. Went to college to check..twice...couldn't find her anywhere. Came home and checked on-line again...still no luck. I was totally freakin out and couldn't get the relief I needed to end my anxiety...good or bad. About an hour later I checked one last time and there it was...I stared at the grade not believing what I was seeing. I reached for my glasses just to be sure my blurred vision wasn't teasing me....
An "A" was staring back at me.
I suddenly had no idea how the letters of the alphabet went...did A come before B...C...how did that work again??? I was floored. I didn't for a moment expect I had done well enough to get a B much less an A. I was floored (did I mention that). I called my best friend and shouted the good news to her. She told me she knew I could get an A...I'm glad one of us knew that. I ran and put my clothes on and raced to the college to find my instructor and see my test. The test was outside her door..she was nowhere to be found. I looked at it and relished that big red A circled at the top. It was then I realized I had only missed 3 questions from 75 question exam. Can anyone say WOW!!! The two I had remembered and one other I had forgotten to check. I looked on her door to see the breakdown of scores she always had there. Turns out my score was the second best one. Wow again!!! I know some of you are thinking..what's the big deal? All I can say is that...I was scared when I took that exam...scared that I hadn't had a chance to study properly...scared that I would let myself and my instructor down..scared that I would crash and burn in the subject I was interested the most in. So many fears when I faced that test...then seeing all those questions and drawing a complete blank on many of them. That A was COMPLETELY unexpected...not even hoped for ....not even attainable far as I was concerned.
Turns out I knew more than I thought..or am a crack guesser when up against the wall. LOL.
I didn't find my teacher but I did happen to run into her later that day at the public library. She congratulated me and said she was concerned when faced with grading it because of how I was in the class. Apparently that look of complete and utter dejection was written all over me...LOL...so was happy that looks aren't everything..so to speak. I will have her again in the fall with Developmental Psych...and she is my advisor as well. She rocks!!! An awesome instructor.
Did I forget to mention that she nominated me to receive the Psychology scholarship award..though I think it's referred to as the Science of Humanities Scholarship or something like that. Apparently she prefers to nominate nontraditional students (older, divorced, single mothers etc) as she feels they are making the most sacrifices by attending college at that stage in life. I noticed in my college profile information it says scholarship pending...sooooo I'm assuming that means it's MINE. LOL $1500....should pay for the next whole year of college...yay me!!!
And that's my psych breakdown (edit...just realized the pun there..LOL)...stay tuned for English next post.