Friday, May 1, 2009

Ok...It Was Bound to Happen...But Im Lost in Lost.

So I heard there was this series out causing a bit of a storm among the viewing public. Up til now I had resisted the pull simply because I dont generally have patience to sit through a movie that requires me to return again and again at a set time each week to view the next exciting installment. I do not like to watch bits and pieces here and there because you really miss more than you catch and the story is lost on you. Besides all of that...Im not a big tv watcher Lost took a long time coming to my attention beyond a cursory interest.
Boredom this week and my Dreambox on the blink has sent me running down to the DVD store to see whats available. Ive passed up the first season of Lost time and time again...along with Desperate Housewives and Alias...I think 24 is there as well. Couldnt be bothered with the lot of them....however for some reason this time Lost called out to me and I succummbed to the siren song of Popular Viewer Acclaim...I took the first season of Lost home with me....where it sat in the box for 3 days until the DVD store clerk called up reminding me it was due the next day. DUE!!! and I hadnt even started it.
Time for a marathon session of Lost on an island...arrange my snacks and drinks...fluff up the pillows...and dare anyone to interrupt me....and with a deft press of the Play begins.
Now I will not bother myself to describe the point of Lost (if there is one)...the set up and plot etc as Im sure most people are quite up to speed on all that info...what I will do is put down a list of questions I have...thoughts that have come to me while watching...that maybe someone else can clue me in on. Might make things a bit clearer for me...thus enhance my viewing pleasure. I realize that when producers come up with a series like Lost they want to make the show in a way that you will BELIEVE what your seeing enough to want to see what happens next...ok I can buy that...but in order to be able to believe...I have to find the "possibility" of it...well...possible. If you cant make it seem like thats just possible despite impossibility...then why even bother? are my questions (in no particular order)...feel free to answer one, some, or all as you feel necessary. Explain to me how these are I can believe them.
1. Why do the men always look dirty and sweaty...and the women look fresh and feminine? Even when the women are sweaty they are rarely ever dirty....which leads to question 2.
2. Why do the women look beautiful even when they dont have make up and hair products to primp with? Makes one believe we women really dont need all that crap we spend money and time on...hmmm? Im vindicated at last. btw the men just look pimply and unshaven..the usual.
3. How come from a plane full of passengers...there is only one child that survives? Ive been on plenty of flights...domestic and international..and there are always a dozen children if not more. Odds would say that more than one child would have survived that flight. Who is that kid going to discover his manhood with when he comes of of the slutty older women I guess. Always has to be sluts when stranded on islands. Im thinking Ginger and Maryann...sluts from the start. I might also add there wasnt even one teenager to survive...there has to be at least one teen to go charging off into the bush stark raving mad who eventually does the Lord of the Flies bit and they have to go hunting for him/her...ho hum.
4. How come the big overweight guy does not lose even an ounce even while being forced to eat fruits and veges with an occasional boar thrown in? I guess the "Get Stranded on an Island and Eat Only Fresh Fruits and Veges" diet is a complete write off as well....I knew it was too good to be true. Even when stuck on an island in which chocolate and Burger King is an ocean away does not facilitate weight loss...I might as well give up from now...sigh.
5. How come when the Iraqi guy tortures the blond pain in the ass guy...the pain in the ass tolerates the bamboo under the fingernails with fairly good humor...but later on when the doc pulls off his bandages from the knife stab..he's like...owie Doc!! take it easy there? WTF!!! Did he need a childs nonstick band aid for his booboo or what? Bamboo under fingernails ok...tearing off bandages...waaaa!!! Okaaaay. Wuss!!
6. How come the Doc is running himself ragged from one side of the island to the other saving every single person that needs saving while the rest of the men just stand around talking about life and the weather etc? If I ever crash land on an island...I hope Jack is on board...he has experience now...he will save me.
7. How come all the womens clothes look laundry fresh...and the mens clothes look like they slept in them...fought wild animals in them...and dug mud pits in them...not to mention bled on them? In other stranded on an island in them.
8. How come the crazy french lady...that has supposedly been trapped on the island for 16 years...still has a fully supportive bra? I lose support in mine after a 6 months...a year if its particularly good...something fishy there. Also...I noticed her boots were in tip top condition...I dont know about you but if there is a boot out there that last 16 years...I want a pair of those.
9. I also noticed that everyone had perfectly minty sparkly white teeth...even the Iraqi prison lady. I cant imagine between all her torture filled moments etc...they let her have a few alone moments to brush and floss? Somewhere near the end of her appearance in the film...her teeth got a little dingy...but she had been in that prison for over a month by teeth look like crap if I dare go a day without engaging in oral hygiene...I want to go to her dentist.
10. Like I mentioned Ive flown many many times. Ive never been on an airline that hasnt had more than a thin hardly there blanket for passengers to try and get warm with...however...watching the movie we see people with blankets all over the place. And many of them arent airline blankets thats for sure. So are we to assume quite a few passengers either packed away personal blankets which the survivors found...or that they carried them on the plane with them...which wouldnt make sense...soooo...anyone?
11. Now I can believe a scenario if its got elements of sense woven into say...I can believe the wheelchair dude could survive a plane crash...suddenly find that the trauma has somehow cured his paralysis (we will assume it was not caused by a severed spinal cord for believability) and that he now has the potential to walk again...I cant believe that he will just GET UP and walk cause whether or not he is cured or not...his muscles have wasted away for the 4 years he was in the come on now...pull my other leg...!
12. How come when anyone does CPR on tv it looks so weak and pathetic not to mention ineffectual? I know how to do cant be done effectively by someone that isnt putting some strength and force behind it. It just looks stooooopid when you have a trained doctor leaning over someone doing CPR and hes barely moving his arms etc...Im like..yeah right doc...pull my other leg...the one not being pulled in the previous question.
13. How come when the lead lady and the asshole man go wandering through the forest and find the water hole (pond, pool whatever) they just climb up on the rocks and jump off head first into the water? Everyone has heard the rules of diving...dont dive headfirst into unknown dont know what lurks below the surface. Come on people..survive a plane crash but break your neck swimming? Why dont you just let the invisible monster catch you from now...stupid people dont deserve to live.
14. Ok now just about all those survivors are city folk...probably never ventured further than the local park for that "outdoors" adventure. And we have all these people running around this rough territory...most of the time screaming and uncaring of where they are headed etc and yet not one has broken a leg on rocks or dead tree limbs etc? Not even an ankle? The mom of the overweight millionaire sprains her ankle in the driveway for heavens sake but these people are regular rock hoppers. yeah right. Not to mention the previously wheelchair bound suddenly cured dude..has gone from box maker to fucking Mcgyver overnight....and he learned all his survival techniques from reading? yawn
15. How come the little kid is wearing tshirts 4 times too big for him...yet the ladies (leading ladies) are wearing midriff bearing tshirts? Why dont they switch?
16. How come when they were desperate for food besides the fruit etc...when the asshole guy and leading lady were facing the damn boar they didnt kill it...and more importantly...why didnt it kill them? Boars are not known for their more gentle nature.
17. How come all those other survivors in the back ground that we never hear from...are always the ones that get killed when someone needs killing? Seems rather unfair to me...everyone should have an equal shot at being killed.
18. How come the actress that plays the 20 year old drama know...the one that cant lift a finger to help cause the rescue team is ON THE 20 in this show...but years later when she stars as the daughter in recent movie Taken...she is barely 18? I thought only male actors got younger parts the older they got? hmmm?
19. How come there are only 3 black people in this movie (from the survivors). Are we to assume black people dont travel internationally or that the odds were against them that they would survive for some reason? Plus every person that survived can count English as their first languages (except the Iraqi guy but his English is near perfect)....only the Korean couple cannot...all though we secretly discover the wife can speak passable English. One would have to assume that on an international flight there would be a more eclectic mix of languages. Just saying.
20......and my most pressing question which I have left for last but is really the most confusing of all...are we to assume that 40 plus grown men and women (and one child...and a dog) that suddenly find themselves scattered on a beach in the middle of nowhere after their plane breaks apart in mid air...not to mention discover they are sharing the island with some sort of some polar bears and a crazy french lady...are not sufficiently moved enough to utter the words...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!!!...or....GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!...or the ever popular...WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!!! Nary a single fuck has been uttered from start to finish...and they want us to BELIEVE THIS SHIT?
Come on now...thats just pushing my believability meter just a little too far.
Having said all that...Im ready for season 2.


San Antonio Cicily said...

Well if for no other reason its worth watching to see Saeed that man is hot! The dark guy I assume he's middle eastern and he has the long curly black hair and accent. I normally don't like long hair but for some reason I just find Saeed attractive. I know you're wondering by now if this is all I think about. No just 99% of the time! LOL

San Antonio Cicily said...

He's number 7 from the left!

Abu Dhabi/UAE Daily Photo said...

I think they explain why the big guy doesn't lose weight, but you'll have to wait for that!!

I LOVE the men hot and sweaty. Works for me. :) If you think that it's odd that they never say "What the fuck is that?" just wait! Time travel awaits you. :P

Nawal said...

Hey Coolred,

Great analysis,

4. Of course he isnt going to lose weight, you know how much sugar and carbs must be in that fruit and if he isnt working out, his metabolism is not up to par and not efficiently burning it, thus it gets stored as fat.

12. Yeah, I know what you mena, CPR you are cracking ribs and its exhausting. Obviously they are not professionally trained. Lol.

15. To switch shirts, the men might switch channels, simple enough.

16. If they killed the boar they would have animal rights activists jumping down their throat. Hey its only 2009.

17. Background people must die, just to prove life is not fair just like in #19, black people are the first to die in any movie...dont get me started on that list

also 19. (Sarcasm)All Black people are poor and therefore would not be on an international flight for leisure or vacation. The only needs to be one token black person on a show, and he is usually the first to get offed.

Nice post

coolred38 said...

San Antonio...yes...he is definitely making me look twice. I like him better with his hair tied up then a girly curly hanging

Abu Dhabi...I like guys hot and sweaty too...physical labor is an interesting endeavor to I will grab the next season and keep my ears tuned for some "blue"

Nawal...cant have men switching channels now can we..nope. I have a feeling as the seasons wear on the ladies get more and more naked...but the men will pretty much still be dressed...always works that way.

Also I was thinking the same thing about the deal with black people...they are generally the expendable ones...and its 2009.

Mona said...

San Antonio..Naveen Andrews who plays Sayid is British raised, Indian heritage:)

Coolred, I LOVE lost and have watched the show from the start, following very closely.

Funny observations but I must warn you Lost gets more and more...shall we say...interesting? Suspension of belief is very key!

Oh yea they also have an unlimited supply of plastic blue tarps!

Chiara said...

Lost in a post about Lost. Now thanks to nephew and (adolescent-loving) mother I am more up on "24Down" where resourceful teens survive plane crash, and...go watch it yourselves! LOL :D

Angry In Oman said...

Just keep watching! Lost is the best!

Everything happens for a reason....

MaryAnn said...

LOLOLOL, I loved your commentary! I watched Lost for maybe the first 2 seasons and then missed a few episodes and then I became totally lost, didn't know what was happening, and the storyline became too stupid to understand. I always wondered about comment #4 too.

coolred38 said...

Mona...thanks for the headsup about the suspension of belief...Ive lived in the middle east for 23 years...Ive been forced to suspend my belief about a lot of things....still not very good at it

Chiara...never heard of that one. Will check it out.

Angry...everything happens for a reason? easy to say...hard to

maryann...stupid? so

Mona said...

Coolred, AHhHhA LOL on your Middle East comment...yea it's good practice.

Tanya said...

Oh my God, Coolred, you are a way more critical TV watcher than I am. Since my relationship with LOST started out just like yours, rejecting it for years, I expected you to be similarly converted as I was. haha - I love Lost! Though, if you keep watching, the thing that annoys me more than anything else you mentioned, was that background people keep dying off til you think there's none left, cause they are never in any scenes, but then suddenly they'll pop up in the background again, only they might not even be the same background people!! Don't tell me after all that time on the island, they wouldn't all know each other intimately! grrr.

The Queen said...

'everything happens for a reason?'

Oh yes! And we do mean EVERYthing. Just keep watching.

coolred38 said...


Tanya...yeah I find it interesting that they keep getting peoples names wrong all the way through so far. There are only 47 people and nothing like tv and the net to distract them...learning names etc shouldnt be such a damn

coolred38 said...

Queen...I went and rented season 2 last maybe a second post will be coming up soon.