So I heard there was this series out causing a bit of a storm among the viewing public. Up til now I had resisted the pull simply because I dont generally have patience to sit through a movie that requires me to return again and again at a set time each week to view the next exciting installment. I do not like to watch bits and pieces here and there because you really miss more than you catch and the story is lost on you. Besides all of that...Im not a big tv watcher anyhow....so Lost took a long time coming to my attention beyond a cursory interest.
Boredom this week and my Dreambox on the blink has sent me running down to the DVD store to see whats available. Ive passed up the first season of Lost time and time again...along with Desperate Housewives and Alias...I think 24 is there as well. Couldnt be bothered with the lot of them....however for some reason this time Lost called out to me and I succummbed to the siren song of Popular Viewer Acclaim...I took the first season of Lost home with me....where it sat in the box for 3 days until the DVD store clerk called up reminding me it was due the next day. DUE!!! and I hadnt even started it.
Time for a marathon session of Lost on an island...arrange my snacks and drinks...fluff up the pillows...and dare anyone to interrupt me....and with a deft press of the Play button...it begins.
Now I will not bother myself to describe the point of Lost (if there is one)...the set up and plot etc as Im sure most people are quite up to speed on all that info...what I will do is put down a list of questions I have...thoughts that have come to me while watching...that maybe someone else can clue me in on. Might make things a bit clearer for me...thus enhance my viewing pleasure. I realize that when producers come up with a series like Lost they want to make the show in a way that you will BELIEVE what your seeing enough to want to see what happens next...ok I can buy that...but in order to be able to believe...I have to find the "possibility" of it...well...possible. If you cant make it seem like thats just possible despite impossibility...then why even bother?
So...here are my questions (in no particular order)...feel free to answer one, some, or all as you feel necessary. Explain to me how these are possible...so I can believe them.
1. Why do the men always look dirty and sweaty...and the women look fresh and feminine? Even when the women are sweaty they are rarely ever dirty....which leads to question 2.
2. Why do the women look beautiful even when they dont have make up and hair products to primp with? Makes one believe we women really dont need all that crap we spend money and time on...hmmm? Im vindicated at last. btw the men just look pimply and unshaven..the usual.
3. How come from a plane full of passengers...there is only one child that survives? Ive been on plenty of flights...domestic and international..and there are always a dozen children if not more. Odds would say that more than one child would have survived that flight. Who is that kid going to discover his manhood with when he comes of age...one of the slutty older women I guess. Always has to be sluts when stranded on islands. Im thinking Ginger and Maryann...sluts from the start. I might also add there wasnt even one teenager to survive...there has to be at least one teen to go charging off into the bush stark raving mad who eventually does the Lord of the Flies bit and they have to go hunting for him/her...ho hum.
4. How come the big overweight guy does not lose even an ounce even while being forced to eat fruits and veges with an occasional boar thrown in? I guess the "Get Stranded on an Island and Eat Only Fresh Fruits and Veges" diet is a complete write off as well....I knew it was too good to be true. Even when stuck on an island in which chocolate and Burger King is an ocean away does not facilitate weight loss...I might as well give up from now...sigh.
5. How come when the Iraqi guy tortures the blond pain in the ass guy...the pain in the ass tolerates the bamboo under the fingernails with fairly good humor...but later on when the doc pulls off his bandages from the knife stab..he's like...owie Doc!! take it easy there? WTF!!! Did he need a childs nonstick band aid for his booboo or what? Bamboo under fingernails ok...tearing off bandages...waaaa!!! Okaaaay. Wuss!!
6. How come the Doc is running himself ragged from one side of the island to the other saving every single person that needs saving while the rest of the men just stand around talking about life and the weather etc? If I ever crash land on an island...I hope Jack is on board...he has experience now...he will save me.
7. How come all the womens clothes look laundry fresh...and the mens clothes look like they slept in them...fought wild animals in them...and dug mud pits in them...not to mention bled on them? In other words...got stranded on an island in them.
8. How come the crazy french lady...that has supposedly been trapped on the island for 16 years...still has a fully supportive bra? I lose support in mine after a 6 months...a year if its particularly good...something fishy there. Also...I noticed her boots were in tip top condition...I dont know about you but if there is a boot out there that last 16 years...I want a pair of those.
9. I also noticed that everyone had perfectly minty sparkly white teeth...even the Iraqi prison lady. I cant imagine between all her torture filled moments etc...they let her have a few alone moments to brush and floss? Somewhere near the end of her appearance in the film...her teeth got a little dingy...but she had been in that prison for over a month by then...my teeth look like crap if I dare go a day without engaging in oral hygiene...I want to go to her dentist.
10. Like I mentioned Ive flown many many times. Ive never been on an airline that hasnt had more than a thin hardly there blanket for passengers to try and get warm with...however...watching the movie we see people with blankets all over the place. And many of them arent airline blankets thats for sure. So are we to assume quite a few passengers either packed away personal blankets which the survivors found...or that they carried them on the plane with them...which wouldnt make sense...soooo...anyone?
11. Now I can believe a scenario if its got elements of sense woven into it...like say...I can believe the wheelchair dude could survive a plane crash...suddenly find that the trauma has somehow cured his paralysis (we will assume it was not caused by a severed spinal cord for believability) and that he now has the potential to walk again...I cant believe that he will just GET UP and walk cause whether or not he is cured or not...his muscles have wasted away for the 4 years he was in the chair...so come on now...pull my other leg...!
12. How come when anyone does CPR on tv it looks so weak and pathetic not to mention ineffectual? I know how to do CPR...it cant be done effectively by someone that isnt putting some strength and force behind it. It just looks stooooopid when you have a trained doctor leaning over someone doing CPR and hes barely moving his arms etc...Im like..yeah right doc...pull my other leg...the one not being pulled in the previous question.
13. How come when the lead lady and the asshole man go wandering through the forest and find the water hole (pond, pool whatever) they just climb up on the rocks and jump off head first into the water? Everyone has heard the rules of diving...dont dive headfirst into unknown waters...you dont know what lurks below the surface. Come on people..survive a plane crash but break your neck swimming? Why dont you just let the invisible monster catch you from now...stupid people dont deserve to live.
14. Ok now just about all those survivors are city folk...probably never ventured further than the local park for that "outdoors" adventure. And yet...here we have all these people running around this rough territory...most of the time screaming and uncaring of where they are headed etc and yet not one has broken a leg on rocks or dead tree limbs etc? Not even an ankle? The mom of the overweight millionaire sprains her ankle in the driveway for heavens sake but these people are regular rock hoppers. yeah right. Not to mention the previously wheelchair bound suddenly cured dude..has gone from box maker to fucking Mcgyver overnight....and he learned all his survival techniques from reading? yawn
15. How come the little kid is wearing tshirts 4 times too big for him...yet the ladies (leading ladies) are wearing midriff bearing tshirts? Why dont they switch?
16. How come when they were desperate for food besides the fruit etc...when the asshole guy and leading lady were facing the damn boar they didnt kill it...and more importantly...why didnt it kill them? Boars are not known for their more gentle nature.
17. How come all those other survivors in the back ground that we never hear from...are always the ones that get killed when someone needs killing? Seems rather unfair to me...everyone should have an equal shot at being killed.
18. How come the actress that plays the 20 year old drama queen...you know...the one that cant lift a finger to help cause the rescue team is ON THE WAY...is 20 in this show...but years later when she stars as the daughter in recent movie Taken...she is barely 18? I thought only male actors got younger parts the older they got? hmmm?
19. How come there are only 3 black people in this movie (from the survivors). Are we to assume black people dont travel internationally or that the odds were against them that they would survive for some reason? Plus every person that survived can count English as their first languages (except the Iraqi guy but his English is near perfect)....only the Korean couple cannot...all though we secretly discover the wife can speak passable English. One would have to assume that on an international flight there would be a more eclectic mix of languages. Just saying.
20......and my most pressing question which I have left for last but is really the most confusing of all...are we to assume that 40 plus grown men and women (and one child...and a dog) that suddenly find themselves scattered on a beach in the middle of nowhere after their plane breaks apart in mid air...not to mention discover they are sharing the island with some sort of monster...plus some polar bears and a crazy french lady...are not sufficiently moved enough to utter the words...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!!!...or....GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!...or the ever popular...WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!!! Nary a single fuck has been uttered from start to finish...and they want us to BELIEVE THIS SHIT?
Come on now...thats just pushing my believability meter just a little too far.
Having said all that...Im ready for season 2.