Ive noticed on other blogs people often make lists of various things. A lot of them make wish lists....things they want obviously but for whatever reason cant seem to get. I figured thats as good a post as any other I was thinking of doing just now...so heres my wish list...well thought out but by no means complete.
TOP TEN WISH LIST
1. I wish I could magically wake up tomorrow and be 50 pounds lighter....OK I lie...I wish I could magically find the desire to go exercise so that some day I could wake up and be 50 pounds lighter.
2. I wish I could afford to go to college...or at least take some courses on computers and journalism.
3. I wish I could find a job that would allow me to afford to take those courses.
4. I wish I could guarantee my children will not follow my footsteps into abusive marriages...and if they do happen to find themselves in abusive marriages...I hope they have the strength and courage to get themselves out of it. And I hope they reach out to me for help and not keep their pain hidden.
5. I wish I could pay off my little red Daihatsu jeep so I could send it to my daughter in Texas...she loves it and I would be over the moon to see the look on her face when she seen it. Still another Bd25oo or so to go. Some day.
6. I wish I could get some answers to questions that seem to not have answers. The not knowing the "why" of something is the most confusing and heartbreaking thing of all sometimes.
7. I wish I could finish writing this book. Actually I wish I wasnt so damn afraid of finishing this book cause then what will I do with the finished product...burn it...store it away...what?
8. I wish I felt I deserved more than what I have been given.
9. I wish I was satisfied with exactly what I have been given.
10. I wish I knew that all of this past 23 (hell 40) years of pain was worth it to get to this moment in time and that there is truly a heaven and hell and if I do end up in hell...I wish the deepest wish of all to see a few familiar faces down there with me.