1. When my son was 6 months old I awoke in the morning to discover his soft spot (fontanel) had swollen considerably over night. It was severely protruding from his head...any idiot could easily see it. (I was seriously considering my little "demon child" was sprouting his devilish horn at last...late bloomer that he was...for some reason he doesnt find that in the least funny...sigh). Anyhow...I rushed him to the hospital imagining the worst...sat down in front of doc with my swollen headed kid...the doc looks my son up and down and asks...."ok...why have you brought your child in today?"... Um? Well lets see. When I pointed out what I assumed to be the obvious...he smiled at me and said..."your such an observant mom to see that and bring him in so quickly". Really? Do I get a cookie now? I would seriously like to meet the mom...any mom (any person)...that would NOT be observant enough to see such a swelling...anyhow. Turns out he had viral meningitis and spent a week in the hosp. That, my friends, is a story for another time all by itself....sigh.
2. When my other son was also around 6 months old I took him to a specialist because he had been sick for quite some time and the local clinic was not getting anywhere with finding the cause. I was stressed out and worried because, among other symptoms, he had blood in his stool. I didnt have money for a specialist but begged for it just to get to the bottom of his symptoms after suffering for so long. Soooo.....sitting there in front of this serious confident sincere doctor who was talking with a calm voice and making me relax and believe I had finally found someone that would take all this seriously...right in the middle of discussing tests that would be done and possible outcomes and treatments etc...the doc looks at my (ex)husband and I and asks..."whose idea was it to name your son Adam?" ...Um?....mine. Ive wanted to name my first son Adam since forever...but what has that got to do with anything right now? "Its a very old name you know...not very common among Arabs though...so I was just wondering whose idea it was"...he added...well that would be me...my idea...and btw its the OLDEST name there is. So now that we have that out of the way...back to my son and his illness...gee thanks.
3. When my daughter was 4 she stepped on a piece of glass and managed to cut out quite a chunk of meat from her foot. It was horrible and bleeding terribly. After sitting in the emergency room for hours...the doc comes up (after literally dragging him there)..takes one look and says..."did she cut her foot?"...um? Im thinking...yes. His powers of observation were almost as good as mine when I "diagnosed" my son with the swollen head.
4. When my daughter was 3 she swallowed a whole bottle of Ibuprofen 400 mg. (I might add that this daughter was known throughout her childhood for putting absolutely everything in her mouth...this was just one episode of many). We rushed her to the hospital and the doc ordered her stomach to be pumped. Afterwards he gave me a large glass of liquid charcoal and told me to try and get her to drink as much as possible to absorb whatever remained of the meds. He told me she probably would refuse and I needed to make sure she got as much as possible. Ok...no problems. I handed her the glass and told her.."baby, mommy needs you to drink this ok...it will make you feel better". Imagine everyones surprise when my daughter took the glass and drank the whole thing down...hardly pausing along the way. They all clapped and cheered and the doc looks at me and asks..."have you given this to her before?"...Um?...yeah...I keep liquid charcoal at home and give it out only as a special treat when the kids are being extra good.
5. My son had quite a few injuries as a child from his unquenchable desire to climb anything and everything. He also apparently preferred the express descent over the slow and cautious one. Consequently...he's has his fair share of stitches and mild concussions. There was one period of time that I actually had him in the emergency room 3 TIMES in one week with injuries that required a few stitches. Thankfully this isnt America or I might have been charged with child abuse...whew! Dodged a bullet there. Anyhow...after the third trip there (but by no means last) the doc, while looking over his file says..."looks like hes been injuring himself since before he was born"...Um? yeah...you cant imagine how many times he needed stitches after climbing my ribs and falling down and smacking his head on my pelvic bone while in my uterus.
Im happy to note that I havent had to take them for anything too serious of late...with everything else going on in my life...I think Im right at that point where I would not hesitate to smack the doc upside the head and head for the door.