As some of you may know from reading this blog...my daughters were sent to live with my sister in Texas due to the problems we were having here...have been since last July. Its been my intention to eventually get all of us over there by way or another. For the most part they are doing well...as I may have mentioned my youngest (15)has improved in school so much its like she is a different student. I knew that her poor marks over here were due to the uninspired atmosphere and lethargic attitude of the teachers. She is an artist, loves to write poetry....draw etc and they dont encourage anything artistic in govt schools...at least not the ones in Hidd...so she really found her place and blossomed...her last report card she was on the honor roll. Im proud of her.
Unfortunately, my sisters husband and my daughters personalities have clashed almost from day one. I hate to blame him on this but really he seems to be acting like a teenager same as her by the way he argues and fights with her over inane things. He seems to get extremely irritated over even the smallest of "infractions" that she commits. Her "crimes" include leaving her shoes out, not washing ALL the dishes on her night, accidentally breaking something...and making a phone bill calling here....among other things.
She is not a drinker, drug addict, thief or truant from school, she is not sneaking out at night or sneaking boys in, she doesnt smoke, curse or sass. And yet if you heard him complain about her she is one degree below a teenage delinquent and will end up either in jail or pregnant and on the streets before long. I dont get it. He seems to have a real problem with her and nothing she does is the right thing.
I was there for 2 months so I seen this with my own eyes...I mentioned it to my sis but she seems to side with him (or is cowed by him...not sure) and agrees with his assessment. Ive lost count of the number of calls or text messages complaining of this or that regarding her...and all the complaints are petty and childish as far as I can see...just plain old teenage stuff. I just dont get it.
Anyhow, long story short...they are sending her back. She will be here in 2 days. They reserved her ticket and made all the plans without even talking to me first. I know this is pure husband because my sister is not like this...she likes to work things out and solve problems...not that my daughter is truly a problem but I find this whole thing ridiculous.
The most irritating thing about it all is that she has improved by leaps and bounds in school...has learned to love reading...has found joy in drama and art classes...and has made good friends...and has two months of school left...and all that is thrown away like it means nothing because they say they cant "handle her" anymore. What? Is she an animal that needs handling? I dont get it.
To make it even worse...I know the govt school will not pass her this year because she didnt attend the whole year...she cannot make up all this year in the two months that are left...so if she stays here next year she will most likely have to repeat the year again...meanwhile she is on the honor roll over there. She has always felt "stupid" here...especially compared to her brothers and sister that have always done excellent without much effort...to see her so proud of herself at last was such a beautiful thing to witness...and now she will be placed back in the school that made her feel stupid to begin with...and will feel like a failure again because they will probably fail her. I dont get it.
I looked into private schools just to let her keep her marks shes earned...to let her finish this last 2 months with her head held high...but they are ridiculously expensive...I just cant afford it. Im so sad for her. I feel like her promising future has been ruined because of that adults inability to get along with a teenager...he brought himself down to her level and I feel he truly set out to sabotage her stay there...for what I dont know.
Maybe he thinks he's just getting rid of a "problem teen" but actually his actions of sending her back is going to affect her in so many ways...and he probably either doesnt even realize it...or has decided its just not his problem because he cant "handle" her....I dont get it.
Im so sad for her. I will be very happy to see her...I miss her and love her so much...but I feel she has been forced to take a large step backward in her quest for a good and "normal" life. Nobody knows better than I how toxic this culture is for girls "like her"...especially this fucked up little town I live in that know all about our problems...and reacted in predictable and deplorable ways...which is why I sent them there in the first place....I dont get it.
I have no idea when I will have the money to go home for good...with all kids together again under one roof...or at least on one continent (sigh)...but I feel that goal has just gotten a little bit further away with them sending her back...thats another ticket I will have to buy eventually...couldnt they have waited two more months...let her finish school at least? I dont get it.
Im so sad for my daughter that has suffered so much...and suffers still.