Sunday, April 19, 2009

Desperate Times Call For...Well...You All Know The Rest

People who know me...and those who might frequent this blog...know that I have had, this past two years plus, a very trying time...that old adage, "when it rains it pours", has never been more true then of late for me. Of course my children are suffering right along with me...a family affair and all that. For the most part we are getting by...what seems like an emergency RIGHT NOW may lose its intensity by tomorrow and you just get on with things...most of the time that works...sometimes it goes on.

Of the many many things we have dealt with lately here is just a brief rundown (just so you get the general picture)

1. divorce due to incestuous father (much more drama there then I could possibly explain...)

2. Abandonment by his whole family...all of them...EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. my children not only lost a father...such as he was...they lost aunts...cousins...a grandma etc a wholesale clearing house of "family" that have known them since the day they were born...and yet turned their backs without a backward glance. I do believe that wholesale abandonment has hurt my children far more then anything else. They have lost faith in people to "say what they mean"...and "mean what they say"...if you know what I mean.

3. Much drama involving the neighborhood "Wahabbis" (everything from young kids to old pains in the ass)...everyone felt obliged to weigh in and give their opinion about the goings on in my home...with either me or my children (especially my girls). It was not uncommon for rude things to be shouted from car windows...messages left on my car calls... and just rumor and gossip to pass the time...thats what we children and I...something to gossip about and pass the time among the Oh So Pious Muslims that felt we needed gossiping gets so tiring.

4. Eventually the drama became too much so my sister came here (first time ever) just to take my two girls back to the states with her...with the intention that the boys and I would follow later. I needed the girls to get away from this drama and have some time to heal and get perspective. It seemed like a good decision at the time. They went to the states last July 08.

5. The boys and I got on with it...missing the girls...fending off comments people were making about how I "sent my daughters away" because of the shame "they" caused to the family etc. (funny how nobody was talking about the Ass and his destruction of a family....figures) The girls were doing ok...needing time to adjust and all...but that was expected. Life went on.

6. Around Nov there was some drama back home...misunderstandings and a boiling point reached...(just imagine...small house...2 new additions...culture shock and an only child that had never had to share in her life etc...makes for a slow burning fuse...but you cant see these things coming most of the time). I ended up going to the states with my youngest son calm the situation down and try and start a life there. I left my two older boys with my best friend with the understanding they would come in the summer. It was too soon as it turned out...things werent settled here and things werent working out there (just so happens the economy was in a nosedive etc...thanks economy).

To make matters 17 year old started showing signs of mental breakdown...without going into detail here...lets just say he was starting to scare people with his strange behaviors (hindsight...oh I hate hindsight...tells me he was showing these signs before I left...but I understood it to be anger and just general teenage drama over the situation etc...although that was probably part of it). So there I was in America...trying to start a brand new life in a sucking economy with a crappy C.V. (it wasnt happening)...and getting news that my son was falling to pieces. Not to mention the Ass and his family had discovered I was gone and started some drama on their well as the Ass decided he didnt need to pay child support anymore since I wasnt here to enforce it. For many reasons I needed to come back.

Of course with no money I had to rely on friends (one in know who you are girl) and I had to make the tough decision to leave my youngest son there. For one the schooling was far better...he was enjoying himself...and we just couldnt afford to bring him back at that time. To make the decision easier I had been offered a very good job in Bahrain while in the assumed I would be coming back to a decent income...compared to no income over was deemed worth it. So I came back with a heavy heart but with expectations based on promises given.

7. Upon arrival I found a therapist for my son (he is on meds as well)...took the Ass to court (currently dealing with that) and discovered that the job was no longer available. I have been unlucky in securing a job every since I arrived here months ago. Im depending on friends etc to pay our bills and make life bearable.

8. To add just one more straw to the camels back...some more drama back home (for which I do not blame my daughter in the least...she did her best) and Im shocked to discover my sis has made the decision to send my youngest daughter back without even discussing it with me first. I had just days to prepare for her...and now here she is. Im so very happy to see her...but there is a serious problem...and this problem is the reason for this post.

Now pretty much all those problems and events listed above were lived through and put behind us (for the most part...some of it is being stubborn and wont cut loose easily) get through it...past it...and move problem. (ok I dont always get past it but Im trying).

Here is the problem people. My daughter is in the 9th grade. She has just 6 weeks of schooling left in America to complete the 9th grade (Im sure those readers in the states know the school schedule better than me)....schools here are pretty much the same...just a short time left. Why my sister chose to send her back at this time I will never just doesnt seem like something she would do...however...its I need to fix this problem...the problem being I cant find a school that will take her in and let her graduate the 9th grade. There isnt enough time left every single one of them has told me. I even checked with the embassy...they cant help me. I checked with every source I could find searching every luck. If she stays here folks...she will have to repeat the 9th grade next year...7 months of school wasted...7 months of school in which she went from a C average student to an honor roll student.

I cannot bear the thought of my daughter having to repeat the 9th grade merely because the adults in her life made some bad choices regarding her. She isnt failing the 9th grade...she doesnt need another year to "catch up" with the other students etc...she is on the honor roll for Gods sake...and yet she feels like a loser now...a failure...just one more straw on Her camels back....through no fault of her own.

It seems my ONLY solution...the only way I can ensure she finishes her year and gets her 9th grade certificate is to send her BACK to Texas and let her finish her few remaining weeks of school. There is no other solution. The school says if she returns by the 27th she can still maintain her attendance...catch up with what she missed...and take her finals etc. So the 27th is my deadline.

Now if just sending her back was my only problem...then there wouldnt really be a problem...the REAL problem is that I have nowhere to send her to. Obviously my sisters home is no longer an option. I suppose if I begged her she might relent out of feelings of guilt etc...but then I would be subjecting my daughter to living in an environment in which she "isnt wanted" for whatever reasons they have come up. I dont want anymore family drama if I can prevent it.

So my solution would be to have my 21 year old daughter take care of her for the next month and a half or so until school finishes and then send her back to me...along with my son. Chances are high I will not be able to return to the states this year simply because I cant afford it...the trip with all the kids...and just plain living there the way things are...waaay to expensive for me...I cant manage it I know. But staying with her sis would require somewhere for them to my oldest daughter still lives with my sis. ( that confusing). I would need money for them to rent an apartment for a short duration or something. I dont have that obviously as I havent worked.

On the other hand I could return with some place and bring her and my son back when school finishes by the end of May I believe...but requires money.

So here are my options:

1. send her back alone...stays with sis in some apartment or hotel until school finishes...bring her back with brother

2. I return with her...same set up...then bring her back with brother

3. give up and let her repeat 9th grade and consider it a learning experience...ugh (and possibly another secretly hidden reason to resent me...sigh)...but will still need to bring brother back in summer

Im at a serious crossroad here my friends and matter which choice I make...I NEED SOME MONEY TO FULL FILL IT...I dont have all. My daughters 9th grade school year is possibly wasted simply because I made bad choices for her...and I now cant rectify them because I cant find a freakin job so I can fix the horrible mistake that has happened to her through no fault of her own.

If she was still struggling in school...if she was still apathetic about it like she was before...if she showed no real interest in maintaining her honor roll grades etc and seemed to not "mind" repeating the 9th grade here...I might not be so determined and torn up about this...but she is taking this very hard. She feels like a failure yet again...and is doing terrible things to my heart...I want to fix this.

Ok I know...people write letters to gets passed to someone else...this and and there...then suddenly Oprah is talking about it on live TV and we are all basking in the joy of witnessing yet again the miracle of "people reaching out to strangers and helping them in some way"...yes...they make us cry and feel good...but does it really happen? Are those "feel good" episodes on Oprah etc just made up shit for the viewing public...or are they real?

I hope they are real...I hope there are really people out there like that...cause I need one of those people (or several) to read this post and feel sufficiently moved by my daughters dilemma to want to help us...otherwise I havent a clue what to do to fix this...and she will suffer one of my bad choices yet again. I hope I can prevent that...I hope.

So here is my pitch...such as it is.

If there is any kind reader out there...who feels as outraged by this turn of events as I do....but unlike me is in a position to do something about it...I would be forever in your debt if you would find it in your heart to help us get her back home for 6 weeks to finish her school year...get her certificate...then return to me and start the 10th grade just like she deserves to next school year.

The help I need is:

1. A return ticket from Bahrain to Dallas to the 25th to ensure she arrives back to school by the 27th of April.

2. Adequate money for my older daughter to rent a cheap but decent hotel or apartment for this length of time. Once the need is gone...the living arrangement will be cancelled.

3. And while it will be my every intention to pay this person(persons) back in my lifetime as soon as I possibly can...I would hope that this person (persons) will acknowledge the fact that that might take an awful long time and be patient with me...but it will NEVER be forgotten or ignored.

Thats it folks. The post and request is made. What comes of it I cant say...I can only hope...hope for my daughter because seriously...Ive made a hash of her life...the lives of her making decisions for them based mostly of wishful thinking...wishful thinking that that choice will "make things better" for them...ugh! Sending her to American was better for her...she improved herself in so many ways (not that she has ever been a "bad" girl...but she had some issues) and sending her back I feel was a grave mistake on my sisters part...but it cant be can only be fixed...this is the only way I can think of to fix it.

Thanks for reading...I dont expect anything...I can only ask.

btw for those Anons that get on here and kick my ass and say I have screwed up my kids lives and deserve all this headache etc (and I know your out there)...believe me...I couldnt agree more with you...but feel free to express your self righteous soap box rant anyhow. I can take it.


I cant help and defend myself just a tad bit and say that everything that has happened has been the result of that first bit of snow sliding down the hill.

1. abusive father resulted in me choosing my "father" as a husband (ask psychiatrist, we abused victims tend to marry our abusers, metaphorically speaking)

2. abusive controlling husband made a 20 year marriage in a foreign country a living nightmare...laws that prevented me from seeking justice kept me prisoner in a cage without bars.

3. the only thing that afforded me to finally divorce that shit was to discover he was raping his own daughters from a young age. the mysogynistic mans world that I live in means not much is done about sexual crimes and the culture would rather blame the female child then her father

4. having spent 20 years of my life basically locked up in my house in a foreign country with no job, education, or even friends for the most part means Im started divorced life at age 38 knowing nothing about how to do all these things I should know how to do. Ive never been given the chance to learn them...everything was forbidden to me. Im not even very socialable because I havent spent a whole lot of time around people. It was forbidden....etc etc

5. Im learning how to be a single mom while having to learn to be an adult with all its responsibilities all at the same time...sorry folks..its not easy...and Ive made some mistakes. Some big and some small...but whatever the kids suffer from it all the same.

6. So the situation my children and I find ourselves in was not entirely of our own doing...others forced us down this path against our wills...but we are on it non the how do we correct it.

I dont make choices assuming they will fail. I dont make choices hoping they will fail. I dont make choices wishing they turn out bad and we all suffer even more...Im on a learning curve people...I dont always learn it the first time...but its worth it to try again....right? My kids are worth it.

All I want is a proper chance for them. I sent them there thinking that was their chance. For awhile it fate, destiny, the Hand of God has decided its not the right place for them they need to come back to me.

How do you even start to make a decision on your next move...when all the cards in your hand are crap...and the dealer is out to screw up all your chances of even bluffing your way out of it. Im lost. What do I do next? What do I tell my kids now?


Angry In Oman said...

Hey CoolRed,

check this link out-

Try giving them a call as they may be able to help you or point you in the direction of people who can help.

I trained in social work in Toronto and believe me, there was always funding, resources, and people with big hearts making the social system work.

What have you got to lose?

The Queen said...

Do you plan on moving your family out of Bahrain?

L_Oman said...

Excellent website from Angry. There has got to be someone from girls inc that can help you out. I wish there were some way I could help you!

I am so disappointed in your sister for not at least sticking through until the end of the year.

My heart breaks for you all, if its worth anything...

San Antonio Cicily said...

Do you and your girls have american citizenship?

coolred38 said...

Puurzz...funny I was just thinking about you lie.

thanks for the ass kicking...I knew it was coming (didnt I say so at the bottom of the blog)...

Yes I remember Myrick...he was a good soul.

I make mistakes...I do...but they dont feel like mistakes when I make them...they feel like the right choice..hindsight is a bitch and constant companion. I can plan but I cant predict what will happen tomorrow.

San Antonio Cicily said...

I was just wondering if you guys were citizens and you could get assistance from the state of Texas, see here's what I'm thinking, if you can get your family back here to the states you can apply for welfare benefits, sign up for low income housing (subsidized apartment) and then take it from there. Sure this isn't the ideal situation but it's a dramatic start to a new life outside of Bahrain, it sure as hell wouldn't be easy but trust me you would make it and be ok. Also with you having been in the military wouldn't you have some sort of GI bill that you could use to go to college and take some classes? I know this sounds crazy but I have seen people do this, some times you just have to take the big plunge!

San Antonio Cicily said...

I think this last lady really had some good ideas, send them over one at a time, and check into the other options!

Anonymous said...


You have been given some really good advice here. Don't just blow it off. Take as many of your children home to The States as you can, save and send for the rest. Your twentyone year old daughter is an adult, she can manage her little sister and little brother for a few months if necessary.
Do your homework on the internet, check out the Houston Area Women's Center, look for other Women's crisis centers and free mental health clinic info. Depression is a dibilitating disease and often requires professional treatment.
You can make this transition as a family, it's going to be a struggle but you are all going to be the better for it. Put your collective heads together and begin the process.

Ordinary Housewife said...

For what it's worth, I would think having your entire family together, in the U.S., even if it seems impractical for some of the kids is one big umbrella of a problem solver.

This country has social services unparalleled, you can get help, you can get them away from an unhealthy situation, and repeating 9th grade - that's small potatoes.

My gut as a parent tells me you would be happier if you and all of your children were living in the same continent.

Hang in there, Red!

Chiara said...

I agree it is best to be all on the same continent, and in this case in the US, but I do think short term it would be better to get all the kids there first if necessary, and follow on (given the legal case, finances, and whatever else job wise--you could even work in Bahrain if necessary and send money to the US).

The 2 boys still in Bahrain were planning to go this summer after school finishes anyway, and if I remember correctly they are old enough to work legally in the US. Going to school and working part-time is the norm for US students.

I wouldn't pay any airfares back to Bahrain but keep the movement toward the US, unless the youngest really isn't coping--but he should be able to if he is living with his 2 sisters and eventually another brother or 2 in an apartment, attending school, social services are involved, sis maybe helps out from her separate home even on an emergency basis, and you are in touch by email, and Skype (a better investment than redundant airfares).

Summer school would be free in the public system (for elementary and high school), keep them occupied, and allow whatever children are there to complete their schooling faster (up to 2 credits per summer usually) if desirable.


And seriously, unless they are going to send you to EYEraq, Afghanistan,Pakistan, Somalia or the Sudan, would working for the US military be so bad--don't they give base housing, and various sports amenities, health care, and all that? Don't they have a base in Bahrain? Wouldn't your knowledge of Islam and Arab culture be an asset? Doesn't Uncle Sam need you in the all volunteer military? Or your children in the paying reserves (while too young to be sent anywhere)?

Aren't you sorry I am spending a rainy day chained to the computer? Don't you wish the weather would improve and I would go outside? LOL

All the best :)

San Antonio Cicily said...

I agree get all the kids here, than get the money together fly here yourself and take it from there. Once you get here go to the local welfare office and explain your situation and see what kind of help you can get. Its not going to be easy but in the end it will be well worth it and you can start a new life, and get out of that hell hole!!!

San Antonio Cicily said...

The kids are going to have to step up to the plate and realize this is the only way!!!

Chiara said...

BTW as you probably know, US university graduates who haven't done part-time work are at a disadvantage for permanent positions. So it is not as if you are handicapping them, by asking them to get part-time jobs.

I also think there might be short term advantages for your 21 year old to be the legal head of the household, or together with the oldest boy (forget if he is legal age for this yet). It doesn't need to be forever but it would get the westward wagon train moving!

Okay I'm going outside now! (too many pop culture Western film expressions coming to mind) LOL :)

Anonymous said...

just a note of encouragement, being bilingual in English/Arabic will give your kids a big leg up in the job market in US. There are private companies as well as government and military jobs available for people with those skills.

Anonymous said...

I have to ask--did you actually read your daughters blog? If you did than you must see that you need to get her out of there now.

San Antonio Cicily said...

I didn't think of that but they are right about the job market for bilinguals. English-Arabic! Do some research on the internet!

The Queen said...

Wow, that sounds like lots of encouraging ideas Chiara and Cicily have there.

I hope you find that it will work for you and your family.

I have to say, after reading your daughter's blog I was thinking the same thing as anonymous, that that poor child needs to get the hell out of there and never have to look back!

San Antonio Cicily said...

You know if you need cheap airfair too you can always lie and say someone died in Texas, this works all the time!!! Trust me!

Anonymous said...

what about people donating airline miles for you and your kids to return to USA?

San Antonio Cicily said...

My sister and I are talking and "people donating their airline miles" this is a great one!!! Does anybody have any airline miles they would like to donate or they are just plain not going to use them!!! Think of it as your good deed for the year!

Yasemin said...

I really wish I could help more sister. My first thought is to reach out to your local battered women's shelter and get some of the help you need for free there. They will provide a car, also money as well, and counseling with play therapy. There should also be some possible veteran's benefits and military help out there.

If you are headed to Dallas, well right now the state benefits are very good in terms of TANF, foodstamps here in Texas. I was once a proud recipient of both. The TANF saved my life and also got me a job.

As for your daughter and the 9th grade, I'm hoping that at the very most, she needs to attend some summer school. And that may even be a good way for her to heal knowing that times will be tough here for awhile.

I am praying and will never stop. My own situation with a jack-__ Syrian makes me unable to give to you financially. I love you sis, and get all the kids and yourself over here asap.

You don't deserve to be called these names over there. I just don't want you to be degraded anymore. Love you!

coolred38 said...

Hello of good input here. All of that sounds wonderful and I will definitely look into those options this summer...but my immediate concerns are right here and right now.

Air miles thing sounds interesting...what exactly is that? Ive heard of it...but I dont know really what it is.

btw I looked into my GI benefits when I was back in the states...I have no idea what happened to my official discharge papers and paperwork etc all those years ago and lots of moving etc...and when I checked into it they said it would take time to find it...6 months later...Im still waiting for it.

Suroor said...

I read your post last night and then thought a lot about it before I comment.

I don't know your legal situation with the "giant peanut in fecal matter" (aka pain in the rear aka your ex) but knowing the situation in GCC, I know that law is tribal as well as sharia. Is it the same in Bahrain?

I would suggest you think about every step you take. Every decision you make now may affect your legal case with the ex. His side will pounce on every little loophole or miscalculation from your side. He is Arab, you are not. In the end he will have the advantage you can never have in Bahrain.

I would also suggest that you try to gather your family together. I visited your daughter's blog and she sounds vulnerable - not in a bad way - but in the way that her life needs direction and there is a desperation in her writing for an anchor. The yo-yo situation is not working out for her, poor girl. Three here, two there is not working out. Maybe you all need to be together soon.

But please do think how two girls living alone in the “big bad fitna” USA might influence your case in the Bahraini court. You know how tribal things can get. Like someone said above, repeating 9th grade is the least of your problems at the moment. When you all are together in the USA, you will see how your daughter will flourish under your love and care, Inshallah.

While from Western standards, your 21 year old is an adult and can possibly look after the younger siblings, it is also true that they have all grown up in Bahrain and the idea of them living on their own might not work out. It might also put undue pressure on your oldest which she may not be prepared for at the moment. After all she couldn’t control the situation when your younger daughter was there.

In the end, you are the mum and know the situation much more than anyone of us.

coolred38 said...

San Antonio...funny cause I wrote on his website before...year ago or so...Oprahs reply...sigh!! lol

Suroor...dont worry about the ex...the only problems I have with him are that he isnt paying child support...the children are in my custody...we have American no troubles there. Im not worried about that sort of thing anymore.

Im hopeful things are going to work out. Ive had some good signs lately...I take what I can get.

Chiara said...

I agree that you are the mum and know the situation best, but as I understand it your custody decisions are settled, along with the right to send them to the US, and your legal battle is for support payments, which may or may not ever be forthcoming. I'm not sure how the children being out of the country would affect that, but their mental health is more important and seems better in the US where they are also receiving treatment.

I also still think that your children would be better off in their own apartment even with family supervision and help, than with a relative, where indeed the older daughter couldn't protect the younger one. The fitnah would be resolved as soon as one of your older sons moves.

Airmiles are a good idea, but I also think some of the other suggestions eg. working with the school, and school board could and should be done right away (for housing, benefits, school credits, etc), and your children there could and should be working parttime, and having summer jobs (15 year olds can babysit and work as camp counsellors).

You do all need to be in one place which is why I think getting them to the US and keeping them there is the better option than having them go back and forth, or stay in Bahrain any longer than necessary.

I'm not sure Dr. Phil is such a good idea, the harm of public exposure probably outweighs the benefits, and the big bad Arab Muslim angle would be hard to resist. Given that for better or worse, your children are Arab Muslims (one-drop rule, remember) not sure I would "go there".

I do hope someone is able to make a cash, or airmiles infusion, but work on the other ideas simultaneously, and get after those military papers--there are so many resources available to you (and dependants) due to your time in the service. All the info is online.

San Antonio Cicily said...

I have to ask will you get a significant amount of money from this guy in child support? Because if not I would bag the idea and start getting everyone the hell out of there. Also go to Craigs List and make a plea on there for air miles-seriously it can't hurt. You would be surprised at what people get on the internet. I feel like a stalker lol I have to keep coming back to see what people say!I just think its bullshit how you guys have been treated! Raped because you didn't cover up what the f----is wrong with these people!

Anonymous said...

Dear Red,

I'm not a doctor but this is begining to sound like you are struggling with a real clinical deprssion here. You need to talk to a medical professional and get some help. Some of the newer anti depressents can make an enormous difference in ones ability to begin to take positive action. I know, I've been there.

Certainly going on Oprah or Dr Phil is not an answer to anything. This kind of thinking does nothing but further undermine your families self respect!

You need to stop pinning your hopes on finding someone to rescue you and find a way to help yourself. You already have people on both sides of the ocean subsidizing you and your family.

You are all American citizens. In America there are institutions and services set up to help people get back on their feet. In America five out of six of you can get jobs, at least part time. Yes I know, good jobs are hard to find, the economy is in a down swing, but there are entry level jobs, and the military is certainly an option for some of your sons and daughters. You know all this Red I don't have to tell you.

If necessary do what millions of imigrants have done before you, live all in one room for awhile if you have to. Pool your resources, work fast food, drive a taxi, join the army, work as a maid, or a laborer...

If you can do this w/o medical help fine, great, but if you can't then please see a doctor Red. You do need help but maybe not the kind you seem to think.

coolred38 said...

Thank you for the suggestions.

coolred38 said...

Ive turned on comment moderation for various reasons. This is not a reflection of any current commentor that I allowed to post.

Chiara said...


San Antonio Cicily said...

Also I think Dr.Phil has some good ole common sense advice that can be useful. You may never be on his show, but just watching, sometimes he has some great advice. Seriously

Chiara said...

Save yourself the aggravation!

Is this workin' for ya?
So whadda ya goin' ta do aboudit?

Maybe read one of his books instead,or not, unless you are gearing up for the Texan dialect.

No offense to the good Dr's fans.

coolred38 said...

Chiara...I was like...huh? and then realized you were doing your well known Dr Phil impression...gotcha!!!

Thank you for the smile.

tanya said...

Coolred, I have to agree - keep whoever you can in the U.S. and get your sons out asap!

I wish, wish, wish I wasn't so unemployed myself so I could help. There must be more organizations online that can help. Texans are really rich and pretty philanthropic, there's got to be one out there who could help. Also, since there is so much oil industry there, I would think you could finagle a job as an arab expert somehow...

I think all the advice from Chiara and SanAntonio is right on the money. I also agree that you probably need someone professional to talk to yourself. Maybe someone on line could donate that as well...

If/when I have any lightening bolts of inspiration, I'll let you know. Just stay strong!!!

Chiara said...

Jus' keepin' it real... I'm jus' sayin'... LOL :)

Taynag said...

Hi Coolred,

Here is a cool organization in Dallas. I am sure they would have some ideas for you:

coolred38 said...

Tanya...Im doing the best I can in that regards...I plan...but life happens...and we take it from there.

Chiara...very real!!

Taynag...thanks for the website info.

always in the kitchen said...

Hi CoolRed,I'd help if I could,but things have been tough here...
If you can get to the states, enroll in a CC as a full time student you'd be eligible for section 8 housing and an EBT card.There are a lot of services available. it would be a temporary thing until you graduate and are employed.A cna course is just six weeks and it pays 10-12$ an hour.Not great wages I know but a place to start.Hang in there,you're a wonderful writer.

always in the kitchen said...

Hi again,just a thought,Could you put a pay-pal button on your blog?If we all could send a little it might add up to enough for you to have some options, Hugs

San Antonio Cicily said...

Hey man I never said Dr.Phil was the answer LOL I just think he has some good ideas! He's not bad looking either!!!!!!!!! If anything he's interesting to watch.

Chiara said...

You think men who look like Humpty Dumpty are good looking? I prefer the scrawny Jean Jacques Goldmann type. Think Mick jagger with a better face, and different lips LOL.

coolred38 said...

always...thanks for the advice...will look into it when I get the chance.

San Antonio...dont wasnt you. He is interesting to look an egg head balding sort of way...and I like tall men.

Chiara...can you imagine I liked Dudley Moore when I was young...I know...very messed there any girl on the planet would admit to such a thing?

Susie of Arabia said...

My heart aches for you and your family's situation. I wish I were in a position to help or offer advice, but I'm not. I do wish you the best though, and hope to God that everything will work out for you. XOX

coolred38 said...

Susie...thank you for the kind thoughts.

Chiara said...

Dudley Moore--okay so you also go for short and funny! Though if I understand correctly you are too short, since he liked the ones who towered over him.

So glad that you found a benefactor, but I hope some of the suggestions here prove useful in the longer term. And thankfully (in my humble opinion) you have been spared Oprah (except for the book tour) and Dr Phil.

San Antonio Cicily said...

You know what they say " A bald spot is a solar panel for a sex machine"!!!

San Antonio Cicily said...

No offense but Mick Jagger? Really! I like guys in suits with class, no offense the all the Mick Jagger fans out there. Has anyone one seen the guy on the "Jar of Juice Blog" this guy is HOT! Google "Jar of Juice Blog" and check him out!

Chiara said...

Google Jean Jacques Goldmann, I only referenced Mick Jagger because of the body type.

coolred38 said... worries...I can tower with the best of them...given the right motivation. He would have been worth it..sigh. Did you see him in 10...just a cuddly wuddly wittle kewty wewtie...ha ha.

Ah the Book Tour...Oprah has taken her talk show in different directions of late...but the Book Tour has stayed the course at least.

btw Ladies...I will have to cease and desist all eye batting and body scanning talk except and unless its about kewty wewty Dudley Wudely....


San Antonio Cicily said...

I googled him and he's not my type no offnese but the world would be boring if we all like the same guys, ONE BIG CAT FIGHT TOO!!! lol I like the Jar of Juice guy! Does anyone know if he's single "Just kidding"! Oh and I like Richard Gere too but only in 3 movies. Runaway bride, Pretty woman, and An Officer and a Gentleman! He seems kinda weird in real life sometimes and then other times charming!

Chiara said...

Coolred--Hijab and stilettos? Extensions to make corn rows and braids?(under the hijab of course)LOL :)
I preferred kewty wewty Dudley Wudely in "Foul Play" (also showed his musical talent).

San Antonio Cicily--yes, we could "double date" easily since we like opposite types. Juice Guy--sorry. Richard Gere-- better with age and in the later films, but in real life too, hmmmm IQ (him at the Clinton Foundation Aids conference) and EQ (the Shilpa Petty kiss that got him banned from India) challenged.

coolred38 said...

Richard Gere...definitely his older character...more down to earth and appealing. Foul Play when Goldie Hawn kept coming upon him in stange places while running from the bad guys? In which case...the scene in his bedroom with the red decor and disco lights etc is to die for.

btw I use to love watching him play piano on the A&E channel.

San Antonio Cicily said...

The Juice guy whats wrong with him, I like his beard!

Chiara said...

Coolred--yes it's the one where she is told to "beware of the dwarf" and keeps interrupting Dudley in the bathhouse, in his apartment with his inflatable doll etc.
So do you use stilettos to tower, stilts, miracle gro, or just stare 'em down? LOL :)

San Antonio Cicily--he's yours!!!

San Antonio Cicily said...

Well good I'm glad we cleared that up and I don't have to worry about you ladies stilling my man!!! Now I can just get on with life and I don't have to worry about you coming on to him all the time! :)

coolred38 said...

Chiara...I thought so...havent seen that movie in forever. I tower just with my willingness to look away or down when Im "expected" to...Im shameless that way. lol

San Antonio...Im way over beards...Ive been surrounded by them for 23 years...and i just want to run up and pull them off hair by painfully single hair.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.