Saturday, April 12, 2008

Urban myths are true?

Its kind of funny when we make off hand remarks that seem fairly rediculous and without meaning at some point in our lives...only to realize those remarks have returned to bite us in the ass and remind us...that off hand remarks are not always rediculous and without meaning.

Last June I walked into a Daihatsu dealership...with the intention of buying a red something...didnt care what it was to tell the truth but I knew I wanted it to be red. I wanted a red vehicle...had wanted one for a long time...dont ask me why...just a bee in my bonnet. I told my best friend..."if there is a red jeep available, Im getting it."...ha ha...there was one...only one...and it was on sell...woo hoo my lucky day had arrived!....sigh.

While the dealer was writing up the paperwork, my friend and I sat inside and admired all the nifty little gadgets etc...and she kept remarking about how come "this flashy beautiful red jeep was still not sold...even though it was nicer than the other colors?" Heres where the off hand remark came in...I said..."well you know that red colored vehicles are involved in more accidents than any other color...its been proven." Now I actually have read that somewhere but I cant remember whether it was something statistical or something someone said cause they hate red cars...I dont know...but it seemed pretty plausible at the time. Immediately she jumped from the jeep and forbid me to buy it..."how can you buy a red jeep knowing its going to get in a crash?" she shrieked. I laughed...ha ha ha...(oh how I laughed)...its just a myth...dont chances are just as good as you in your green car...its all the same....sigh(again).

So....10 months later and Im starting to think it was something statistical that I read about red cars...either that or people just have it out for my jeep and want to see it begin its next life as a lead paperweight post haste. I have had white cars...even an ugly yellow jeep once that all ready had quite a lot of damage on it when I got it...and none of them suffered what this poor red jeep has suffered during the times that I owned them.

Here is a short list of indignities suffered by my red jeep at the hands of the uncaring public...or as I like to refer to them....Mindless Blind Idiots.

1. Within 2 short days of having it...while parked innocently outside my received a unwarranted assault by an unknown assailant that resulted in a rather large dent on the front passenger side area...between the hood and wheel...had to be done on purpose as it was on top more or less...couldnt have been done by a careless passing car....sigh.

2. Was forced to play tag with some Mindless Blind Idiot giggly girls that assumed erroneously that a RedFlashy Jeep must be owned by a Hot Guy that wanted to flirt with two Mindless Blind Idiot giggly girls...which resulted in me being side swiped by two equally Mindless Blind Idiot macho boys that had seen the previously mentioned idiot girls and were trying to get in on the jeep was the collateral damage in this "game of giggly fun"...sigh.

3. A very large bus driven by a Mindless Blind Idiot man decided that arrows on the road and traffic signals pointing the way were of no use to him when what he really wanted to do was turn left ....even though he was in the right lane...apparently it never occured to Mindless Blind Idiot man that while he could disregard all arrows guiding him forward and turn left anyhow...other drivers might not have the ability to read his empty head and react accordingly to avoid the unavoidable ....once again...poor red jeep was assualted.

4. While recently arriving home...ready to put my lovely innocent red jeep to bed for the night...Mindless Blind Idiot man decided that alleyways were shortcuts and looking before darting out of said alley was for wussies and the faint of heart...

resulting in a further assualt to my rapidly disintergrating red jeep caused by those "driving" on the road and others who think parking lots are real life versions of bumper cars. I have not had time to take my poor jeep to the garage for the other accidents...when a new one pops up to add to the damage. Keeping all these accident reports separate is becoming quite a chore. Not to mention the continued drama of trying to convince Mindless Blind Idiots that while they are Bahrainis and, yes, this is their country...driving their cars as if they are playing the latest PS2 game does not qualify one as a Formula One driver...nor does it exempt one from obeying simple traffic rules.

What is it about red that attracts people like moths to a my flaming red jeep hostile to the eye of an otherwise law abiding fellow driver....does my jeep cause a rage similar to the affect a red snapping cape has on a single minded raging bull? Am I a matador waving my red jeep in the face of usually placid cows(drivers) and so the fault is really mine for having the nerve to want to own a red vehicle in the first the future I fear there will be a traffic law that states...article 567 of the traffic penal code...if you are in an accident in which a red car is one of the parties involved...automatically the owner of the red car is at fault and libel for all charges...ouch! Its coming...just wait.

My beautiful red jeep of less than one has a full ring of damage the encirlces the entire vehicle...there is not one spot left without a ding..scratch...dent...or just outright body damage. Im sure my jeep still loves me...but is probably wishing I had gone to Honda that day.

The "myth" of the red vehicle seems to be alive and, unfortunately, very true...this could be the reason why...when Oprah gave a parking lot of new cars away to her audience...there was not one single red car in the bunch...Oprah was not taking any chances of being the defendent in a which the free red car she gave to a greedy audience member was involved in an altercation with a Mindless Blind just cant escape the fact that sometimes...urban myths are true....sigh. Im considering getting a bicycle...not red of course....sigh.

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