Thursday, February 12, 2009

Its getting crowded "under the carpet"!!

This article was written on my behalf by a friend of mine who writes for one of the local newspapers..it will hopefully be printed tomorrow. For those that cant read Arabic...its a condensed version of my life these past 23 years...more or less.

We shall see if its accepted as we all know that this subject generally gets brushed under the carpet. One can only hope the Powers That Be at her newspaper arent just such people. Wish me luck!!!



في يــد الشيطان
كثُرت هذه الأيام شياطين الانس، التي تنقض على لحمها بدل أن تحميه وتصونه، ومناسبة الحديث هذه القصة التي سألقيها عليكم، لإحدى النساء الأجنبيات التي قدمت الى البحرين بأحلام وردية انقلبت الى كوابيس ليلية.
اذ ان زوج هذه المرأة البحريني جلبها من بلدتها، لتواجه مصيرها المرير في مملكتنا البحرين، حيث انه لم يستطع أن يخفي شخصيته المتناقضة، ففي النهار هو ذلك الرجل المتدين والملتحي، والذي ينتقد كل شيء سواء حلال أم حرام، وفي الليل هو ذلك المنافق الأفّاق الذي لا يصون حرمة بيته.
وفوق هذا كله اكتشفت زوجته بعد زواج دام عشرون عاما، بأنه يعتدي على عرض بناته، وينتهك حرمته، ولم يَخف من الله العالم بالسرائر، وان بناتها في يد الشيطان –والدهم -.
أي قلب هذا يستطيع ايذاء أطفال أبرياء، فما بالكم بوالد يلمس أطفاله كل ليله ويعتدي عليهم، أي والد هذا الذي يربي القيم في النهار، ويقفز الى أسرّة بناته في الليل.
ان هذا الشيطان مارس الجنس مع بناته لمدة عشرون عاما، وعندما كشفته زوجته أخذ يطلق الشائعات تلو الشائعات عليها، ولم يكتفِ عند هذا الحد بل قام باطلاق الشائعات عن أبنائه وبناته، حتى يهرب من المصيبة التي قام بها داخل بيته.
لم تقم باقامة الشكوى عليه، بل سوّت الموضوع مع محامٍ دلّتها عليه احدى صديقاتها. فهي لم تقدّمه للمحاكمة ظنا منها بأن الحكم سيكون 3 سنوات أو أقل كما تقرأ في الجرائد، ولاعتمادها على ما يقدّمه هذا المعتدي من مبلغ بسيط تعيّش به هي وأطفالها!
خرجت هذه الأجنبية "بملاليم "، لتعول أطفالها وتساعدهم في هذه المحنة التي أوقعهم فيها والدهم، فأطفال سِفاح المحارم والتحرش الجنسي، يكونون طبيعيون من الخارج، الا ان الضرر الداخلي لا ينتهي الا بموتهم، لصعوبة نسيان الاساءة التي تعرضوا لها خاصة اذا كان المعتدي هو الوالد المصون.
أخرجت الأم بناتها من الديار لعدم تحمّلهم كلام الناس، ورجعت الى أولادها في البحرين، وعندها قام هذا الشيطان بقطع المعونة عنها وعن أبنائها، مع العلم بأنها كانت معتمدة عليها!
ان هؤلاء الأطفال المساكين على رغم الظروف الصعبة، لم يتجهوا الى الخراب، بل اتّجهوا الى النجاح في الدراسة وتحقيق ما تمنّته الأم، حتى ان أكبر أبنائها كان إماما وحافظا للقرآن، وبسبب المصيبة توقّف عن امامة الناس ومواجهتهم.
وبعض الناس بالطبع لا ترحم، فهذا يتكلم وذاك يحقد ولا يدرون بأن من يُعطي يُعطيه الله، كما قال الله في حديثه القدسي: " يا ابن آدم أنفق أُنفق عليك"، حتى ان احدى الجمعيات المتأسلمة أوقفت "الكوبون " الخاص بشراء أغراض البيت، فالأم الآن لا تعمل وليس عندها من يعولها.
فمن يستطيع أن يرحم هذه المسكينة وأطفالها بعد الله سبحانه وتعالى، ويبادر في مد يد العون لها ولأسرتها المُحطّمة، خاصة واننا في يوم الجمعة الذي يُقبل فيها الدعاء.
ضحّت هذه الأجنبية بحياتها كلها لتربية أبنائها البحرينيون، فهل تقف البحرين معها اليوم؟



15 comments:

Chiara said...

Well "Google translate" does a job good enough to follow the outlines, and better at some points than others. I assume the title "In the hands of the devil" is accurate, and the overweening piety of the day is well contrasted with the abuse. and particularly the sexual abuse at night. "Incest" is specifically use, and the financial handicaps and judicial problems are evident. So are the academic success of your children, their outward normalcy, and your own dedication. The final question is for Bahrain or Bahraini's to answer. Hopefully it will be printed. All the best.

janice said...

I too used google translate, and I have to extend my best wishes for you and your children.

Those 20 years would have tested my character, you're a whole lot stronger than I would have been.

Again, good luck to and your children.

coolred38 said...

Well you two are lucky ones then...we poor souls in Bahrain have been blocked from using Google Translator by orders of the Ministry of Information. Apparently they dont want the "ignorant" masses googling such words as "dictators" "injustice" "human rights" "democracy" etc and maybe learning a thing or two.

btw the article was not printed due to some "inflammatory" word usage...sigh (no surprises here). It shall undergo some serious rewriting...and then you will see a sanitized version.

Viva La Freedom of the Press!!!

Suroor said...

This is awful Coolred! It is so depressing. My heart bleeds for you.

The article calls your husband 'Shaitaan' which in my opinion is still a very soft term for a monster like him! I pray that Allah shows no mercy on him - ever!

Chiara said...

I can understand from the publisher's perspective the dangerousness of publishing this as written (at least as translated). Inflammatory as in opening the publisher and you to a libel suit, or as in unIslamic, or we're pretending this doesn't happen here?

Although you have proof your accusations are true a libel suit would still be messy to fight, and parts of such an article, or expressions could be difficult to prove leaving you open to prosecution on parts you cannot prove. Sorry to be legalistic but these things happen, and you need to protect yourself. "They can always hurt you more", a very wise surgical resident was fond of saying.

I summarized a bit because I thought there may be a problem of translating for some others.
Yahoo's Babel Fish also translates but not Arabic.

Good luck with the revision. You may have to use appallingly mild language.
eg. inappropriate behaviour or romantic behaviour instead of incest; and unfortunate, or misguided or inappropriate rather than evil, devil etc.

coolred38 said...

Well from a legal point of view I feel safe since my ex has never read a single thing in his life that didnt have something to do with cars or computers. Im not in the least worried he would actually read a newspaper...much less this newspaper being a Shiaa' one at that.

Anyhow...as you said...everything is completely true and I have proof...and he well knows it....so what would be the point to press charges of libel...and even if he did...I would relish the chance to face him in court...anyhow....

The point of the article was to try and get some support for me and my kids are we have been struggling of late...but His feelings and rep must be anticipated...as usual...in all things..apparently...ugh!!

Chiara said...

True--the man still has a certain "presence" shall we say in Bahrain. Part of my point was that the publisher might not want to run the risks of recrimination from whatever quarter.

From what I read you could still make an effective plea for help with milder language. Good luck!

PS you've semi-addressed this, but is there no one in his family willing to be supportive of his children, at least financially?

coolred38 said...

Thanks Chiara for your concern...actually his entire family has abandoned us from day one. They know that what we accuse him of is true...they seen the proof and were not that shocked to tell truth (something makes me think they were well aware of his darker side long before it was exposed)...at any rate...he has stopped paying child support these past 4 months...and Im without a job at the moment having gone to the states and back...so we are stretched tight. Im taking him to court over the child support but everything in Bahrain takes ages...and a few more ages...so my friend thought this article might be of some help. Doesnt hurt to try.

Im not sure if a watered down version would sufficiently move the people as already its a culture of "blame the female"...hard to get over that mindset...but maybe someone out there will surprise me for a change. Always a chance...

Chiara said...

Ah, yes the family seems to have known or at least expected no better.

I was thinking a less inflammatory style can still be highly effective, especially if it emphasizes your financial difficulties and his (and his family's) failure to provide support to the children.

One of the most effective public statements about child sexual abuse I have ever witnessed was from Native Canadian leader Chief Phil Fontaine who admitted he had been sexually abused in "residential school" and that it was a problem throughout Canada. He did it on the National News (CBC) primetime newscast, and precipitated a social revolution in the acknowledgment of the problem, and treatment of survivors. What struck me recently when I watched it again, was his quiet dignity, and how very little he actually specified.
http://archives.cbc.ca/politics/parties_leaders/topics/1622/

He has been Wikied:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Fontaine

Good luck!

Chiara said...

Coolred, I hope you don't mind, but I did a sample edit of the Google translation of the article you posted and I'm putting it here as I cannot find an e-mail contact for you. Since you posted it and intended to publish it, I assume it is not private or confidential beyond your "Coolredness". I'm sure there are mistakes in content since some of the Google translation was gibberish and some just not or mistranslated (I also assume you don't want to be referred to as "meat"). Perhaps it will give you and your friend or a translator some ideas. I hope so.

Also, as no names appear here if the newspaper or your friend handles any donations you will be better protected legally.

In the hands of the unmerciful

There are many men these days who impose on women rather than protect and maintain them. This story is about a foreign woman who came to Bahrain with rosy dreams that turned into a nightmare.
Her husband brought her here from her hometown to encounter bitterness in our Kingdom. Here he could not hide his contradictory personality. In the day he was a bearded religious man, critical of everything, both halaal and haraam, while at night he was a hypocrite who did not preserve the sanctity of his home.

Worse, after a marriage of twenty years, his wife found out that he had violated the dignity of his daughters, which cannot be hidden from Allah. When confronted, he denied it, and continued in his haraam ways that so harmed his children. Although she had proof, because of her financial dependence on him, and because of the usual long delay in court proceedings, she divorced him and settled legally out of court for a relatively meager sum. To protect her daughters from malicious gossip she removed them from their home, and has herself now returned to Bahrain to be with her sons.

Although these children appear normal on the outside, they suffered a great deal, and cannot forget the abuse they experienced at the hands of a man who should have been their protector. That these children, in spite of difficult circumstances, did not go to ruin, but achieved academic success is a tribute to their mother’s care.

Recently this cruel father has failed to pay the legally agreed upon financial support since he is no longer working, even though he knows they are dependent on it. As the mother is unable to work the family is suffering.
Some people of course do not show mercy, but speak with malice, and do not know what God has given them, as God said: "O son of Adam, you spent…"

Who, after God Almighty, can have mercy on this poor woman and her children, whose initiative in helping herself and her family has been shattered? Who will do so on a Friday of special prayers? These foreign women sacrifice their lives to raise their children as Bahrainis, will Bahrain stand with them today?

coolred38 said...

Thank Chiara...my friend tried to translate herself...but even though her english is pretty good...she said in arabic it sounds much stronger then when translated to english...and she couldnt quite get that "impact" across to me. It actually sounds better than I was thinking.

Thanks for taking the time to do that...much appreciated.

Chiara said...

You're welcome. I toned down the Arabic/Google language alot, eg. even in the title unmerciful for devil, omitting "evil" and "incest". Also there was something incomprehensible about a house "coupon". Anyway I thought this might give the flavour of less inflammatory language (at least in English) and minimum necessary content.

I hope it all works out.

Chiara said...

PS I just remembered you don't have Google Translate. For what it's worth this is Google's Arabic translation of my English text:

في يد من عديم الرحمة

هناك العديد من الرجال في هذه الأيام التي تفرض على المرأة بدلا من حمايتها والمحافظة عليها. هذه القصة تدور حول امرأة أجنبية الذين جاءوا إلى البحرين مع الأحلام الوردية التي تحولت إلى كابوس.
زوجها جلب لها هنا من المدينة إلى لقاء المرارة في المملكة. هنا انه لا يستطيع ان يخفي شخصية متناقضة. في اليوم الذي كان الرجل ذو اللحية الدينية ، وينتقد كل شيء ، سواء من حلال وحرام ، بينما في الليل كان المنافق الذي لا يحافظ على حرمة بيته.

والأسوأ من ذلك ، بعد زواج دام عشرين عاما ، وزوجته وتبين انه انتهاك كرامته بناته ، والتي لا يمكن أن يكون بعيدا عن الله. عندما واجه ، نفى ذلك ، واصلت وسائل محرمة في ذلك ضرر أولاده. على الرغم من انها دليل ، وذلك بسبب الاعتماد المالي لها عليه ، ولأن من عادة التأخير الطويل في إجراءات المحاكم ، وطلقت منه وتسويتها خارج المحكمة من الناحية القانونية لضآلة المبلغ نسبيا. لحماية بناتها من القيل والقال الخبيثة أنها تخرجهم من وطنهم ، وعاد الآن لنفسها أن تكون البحرين مع ابنائها.

ورغم أن هؤلاء الأطفال تبدو طبيعية في الخارج ، فإنها عانت الكثير ، ويمكن أن لا ننسى انهم عانوا سوء المعاملة على يد الرجل الذي كان ينبغي أن يكون حاميا لهم. هؤلاء الأطفال ، على الرغم من الظروف الصعبة ، لم يذهب الى الخراب ، ولكن النجاح الذي تحقق الأكاديمية تقديرا لرعاية الأم.

مؤخرا الأب القاسي هذا لم يدفع قانونا الدعم المالي المتفق عليه لأنه لم يعد يعمل ، مع انه يعرف انها تعتمد على ذلك. كما الأم لا تستطيع أن تعمل الأسرة المعاناة.
طبعا بعض الناس لا ترحم ، ولكن التحدث مع الخبث ، و لا نعرف ما حباه الله بها ، كما قال الله : "يا ابن آدم ، قضيت..."

الذي ، بعد أن من الله عز وجل ، أن يرحم هذه المرأة الفقيرة وأطفالها ، الذين المبادرة في مساعدة نفسها وأسرتها قد تحطمت؟ الذي يفعل ذلك في يوم الجمعة للصلاة خاصة؟ هذه المرأة الأجنبية تضحية بحياتهم من أجل رفع الأطفال البحرينيين ، وسوف يقفون معهم البحرين اليوم؟

The back translation (this Arabic back to English) is often accurate, sometimes different ("ruthless" in the title) and sometimes gibberish ("The mother can not operate the family suffering.") However, each translation introduces errors so maybe your friend can do a good edit of this Arabic.
It's a start.

Good luck, again!

Aafke said...

Good to see it translated.
Fucking bastard!
Did it get published at all?

flymenian said...

He is an Animal.