Saturday, January 31, 2009

Incident with a Porche and Pepsi

After 22 years living here in the Middle East...Ive sort of gotten use to the idea that everyone feels the road belongs to them. Crazy driving...parking...when it comes to cars...just make sure you buckle up. You never know whats waiting around the corner.

Well, yesterday waiting around the corner for me was a Porche conveniently parked right on the curve in the Diplomat area...Mr Porche was kind enough to put his hazard lights on...fat lot of good they did considering he was far enough around the bend to hide his little speedster right up until I was behind it. Too suddenly be faced with a ton or so of solid metal just when you least expect it...does not give your heart much time to catch up to the scene...I very nearly caused another accident while trying to avoid rear ending little Porche...can you blame me if my temper was stirred up ever so slightly?

I cant for the life of me understand this thinking that "I can damn well park my car anywhere and who cares if it causes problems for other people. My wants and needs are the important thing here." I have lost count of the number of times I have been blocked in by some driver who was too lazy to drive a little further and park properly...most of the time they dont even apologize when they come back and see your fuming face. Just a la de dah as they drive away...happy they accomplished their mission...no worries about me and mine...arggghhh!

Anyhow...my day wasnt going too well anyhow so Mr Porche was in the wrong place at the wrong time...so to speak. I showed Mr Porche my ire by having my son roll down the window and pour my newly opened bottle of Pepsi on his lovely little machine. If it would have been easier I might of had him piss on it...thats how angry and fed up I was...anyhow...I squeezed by with much caution and sped off.

Not the end of the story...keep reading.

It seems Mr Porche was witness to our little Pepsi annointing and came speeding after us through traffic...he finally caught up to us (I wasnt even aware he was risking life and limb to do so..not concerned with such crazy driving unless its around me)...and preceded to try and drag my son from the car. Luckily I had the foresight to lock the doors before hand...intuitively knowing he would try something like that. He was shouting and going on...speaking broken english and throwing some colorful words in there just to spice it all up. He looked like Kojak...but without the lollipop. I chose to ignore Mr Porche...and wondered just how long the red light was going to keep us waiting... Mr Porche was doing his little dance in the middle of the 3 lane highway and seemed little concerned with his own personal safety...wheres the cops when you need one? Im wondering...if the doors hadnt been locked...would he actually have dragged my teenage son from the car and ...what?....beat him?...over some spilled Pepsi on his car that can easily be washed off? Would our blood have so easily have washed off the road if the worst would have happened? Was his little car with some Pepsi spilled on it more offensive then us nearly crashing into his illegally and dangerously parked Porche? Was he prepared to escalate the episode just for the sake of what exactly....his pride? Well I understand that men see their vehicle as an extention of themselves...so I assume Mr Porche felt as if he himself got the Pepsi in the face....so to speak....if only!!

Anyhow, he decided the best he could do is call someone...not sure who...could be those errant cops...or maybe just the wife to bitch and moan about "crazy American ladies"...hmmm? Light turned green so off I sped...he didnt follow...but a bit further down the road he gave us a little middle finger salute...whatever....Im over it.

Im totally pissed off about this though...ok ok Im sure some of you are out there saying..."you didnt have to pour Pepsi on his lovely Porche"...which indicates to me that you feel his right to park there supercedes my right to not die in a traffic accident because of his illegally and dangerously parked car...and further...I have no right to express my irritation at his audacity to believe he owns the road and can park anywhere he damn well pleases...and people can just wait and suffer until he finishes his business?...well all I can say to that is this...

park where you want...but next time it might not be Pepsi is all Im saying.

13 comments:

Angry In Oman said...

Right on!!!!

I think you did the right thing!

srinivas said...

uf! alas! what type of barbarian, he.

Was he prepared to escalate the episode just for the sake of what exactly....his pride?
its not pride, egoism

whatever you did was 100% right sister - next time, if anybody does like this, kick them on the ... ha ha ha!

fred_says said...

next time, just ram the Porsche.

It'll cost him a heck of a lot more than it will cost you

:-))

Monica said...

Nicely done!!!

Erdin Beshimov said...

Coolred, Just found your blog. You are an amazing writer with quite a story to tell. God bless you and keep you in this new phase of your life. Two questions, possibly for future posts. How did you meet your ex? When/why/how did you convert to Islam? Thank you for opening my eyes to a new corner of the world.

coolred38 said...

Thanks everyone...I learned later that someone from Al Wasat...the local Arabic paper...witnessed the whole thing and actually wrote an article in the newspaper...I guess you can find it online in one of the editorial pieces on Feb 1. One of the female writers did it.

Erdin...I just might answer those questions in a future post. Im happy you like what you read. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Sabra said...

You have no idea how many more of us want to be able to do this, for the men [no women drivers, here] who block entire streets because they've parked where they shouldn't. Good for you. Applause - more applause and even more!!!

rebellious said...

Sabra...dont thing Im not thinking about it all the time while Im out...like I said...next time it might not be pepsi...enough is enough really!!

Aafke said...

that's where stilletto heels come in... just lift up your heel and scratch the whole side of the car...

Can't he look at it from his own side? I mean, apart from your and your sons blood all over his stupid porche, his stupid porche could have been a total loss underneath your mangled bodies.
What's a bit of coke compared to that???

Anonymous said...

get a life you angry old woman. Ever heard of midlife crisis... that's the real problem.

Al-Ghariba - The Stranger said...

Salams,

One thing I hate about being an expat is that it is sooo easy to get deported otherwise I would have done more than spill pepsi on his car!!!
I am in Qatar and it is rather crap on the road here too. and people like MR Porche will take you to the cleaners if he got his hands on you, especially if he was a local. sad. I sympathise with you.

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