Friday, January 11, 2008

Things are not going well personally...not a good start to the year

Sometimes it only takes a few comments made by someone to dash your dreams or kick your ass into submission once again. The only thing I really hate about this country is that my life and how i live it is not my personal business. Everything I do is open for public consumption and it matters little if what I do is my sin or my crime...whatever...its up to the community apparently to judge me and render a decision as to whether what i have done is halal or not...acceptable or not...muslim or not and therefore permissable by the community. So even though i am no longer married i still have to live live in a way that pleases someone other than myself...but now its the whole community and not just one person. Apparently because i am now single they view my life as their responsibility to direct and handle regardless of my wishes.

The concept of live and let live unless someone is breaking the law has no merit here...ur life is not your own in the arab/muslim world as I have mentioned belongs to the whole community...and therefore open to judgment and ridicule...not to mention your very life can be made miserable by the constant comments and accusations of these oh so pious muslims as to your status as a genuine muslimah. ...something I thought only God had the right to do.
...but then comment on their behavoirs and u are now a backbiter or slanderer for talking about other muslims...looking in the mirror apparently in an unknown concept over here...I think Im ready to go home now. I have had enough of other people running my life for me...when will it be my turn?

1 comment:

ammaro said...

im sorry things arent going great for you.. but the thing is, its up to you how you take these sort of things. some people get really caught up in the whole reputation/small community/everyone knows everyone and what theyre doing syndrome that they end up not living their life. i used to, but now i honestly dont give a damn. do what you want, dont care about people, theyll have their opinions, theyll talk. so what? let 'em be.