It's Over People....the Fat Lady Has Sung. About Freakin' Time

CURRENT BALANCE IS APPROXIMATELY $4410.00 THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! PLEASE KEEP THE DONATIONS COMING....PLEASE!!! Sept 1, 2009 9:50 am Bahrain time $4500 is the goal and Sept 20 is the target



Last night had to be right up there with moments in my life worth remembering again and again. With 4 little words from someone I love very much...my life finally found a purpose...an achievable goal...a view on the horizon worth aiming for.

We are going home! at last...all of us. 23.5 years after stepping hesitant feet on wild and unfamiliar tarmac in which my journey has been long...painful...and mostly very lonely...with some moments that made it all worth while thrown amid all the chaos just to give me hope that it would get better....I'm finally able to say the words with complete confidence and joy...we are going home!!!...potentially that is. Listen up.

Last night after discussing with my son (for those of you not up to speed, and you know who you are, my middle son has had great reservations about going to America and some personal issues to deal with and I couldn't leave him behind) and reminding him about all the issues we have been facing here...all the problems, set backs, fights, drama...not to mention unpaid bills due to my inability to find a job (the list of cons is long my friends) and how going to America would allow 5 of us to work...not just me (age limit here and driving limit higher) and educational opportunities are greater and I can receive help from the govt meanwhile I cant even get a foot in the door over here anywhere....and numerous other pros for going now....plus we can ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN reuniting with my older daughter and youngest son who are there all ready....(and of whom I miss sooooo freakin much).....he looked at me...took a deep (DEEP) breath and said 4 little words that will change our lives...

"Ok...lets do it."

My heart has not hit a normal beat since that moment.

Now, getting everyone in agreement at last to returning to the states was the HARDEST goal I had to achieve (for those who are sitting there thinking....why didnt she just throw him on a plane whether he wanted to go or not?...issues remember...not to be discussed here and now)...but now that I have that in hand...I have one more obstacle to overcome....tickets. I need 4 tickets friends and strangers alike. I have no money...nothing...zero....zilch.

Now here's the thing...being as its Ramadan airlines have drastically reduced their prices for the month. If you purchase tickets before Ramadan is over... rather than pay the Bd1200 or more advertised just a few weeks ago...now prices are around Bd400 give or take. I can actually get 2 tickets for the price of one...or 2.5 to be precise. That is ...if I had the money.

I know some of you are sitting there thinking this is MY problem and not yours...and your right...completely my problem...but I'm desperate. I have 5 children to support. No job for over 8 months. 2 are in the states and 3 here with me. We haven't been all together since last summer. I cant seem to get my feet under me here in Bahrain no matter where I turn or who I ask for help. Promises are made but forgotten. I am continuously disappointed by people who pretend to care...then forget us once we are out of sight. For me I don't mind...I'm use to people being what they are...but I have my kids to worry about. I cant feed them without borrowing money from someone to buy food...or going begging at the local charity for a coupon and dealing with drama from those bearded narrow minded woman haters who hesitate to help me simply because I took of my enforced hijab after 20 of marriage to one of their bearded narrow minded brothers who not only made our lives hell every day and every moment...but left my children with a lasting legacy of pain and shame after subjecting them to sexual abuse.

We have suffered friends...and are still suffering...from what that man did to this family...then walked away. He isn't paying child support (or sometimes does but not the court ordered amount) and enforcing it is almost useless here. Courts here hardly show sympathy at all for the many many women that suffer from their men acting less then morally upright...whether they call themselves Muslim and a Muslim country or not. I have found no sympathy with the courts.

My family has helped us as much as they can...but with this amount of money they have told me bluntly that they cant manage it at this time...and this time is when the opportunity is best...reduced prices for Ramadan. It wont come again until next Ramadan and I don't want to wait another year to go home....not if I can get all my kids there and in one place again at last...RIGHT NOW...THIS MONTH.

Not to mention that school has started so time is important for that as well. Suddenly everything is important and my mind is crowded with ALL the things I have to do just to make this happen...but I cant start on any of those things unless and until I know I will have the tickets before the month is over (Ramadan month).

I'm not too proud to beg people...for my children I will beg on my knees....to get them all together again under one roof...back in America at last I will beg until my knees bleed. Its that important to me...since we separated (with the best of intentions) we have suffered not only what this culture and country throw at us...what life in general has thrown at us....what the economy has thrown at us....but we have suffered most of all from being cut in half. We only have each other...and its soooo much harder to bear the bad times when familiar arms are not there to hug you...familiar voices are not there to console you....when familiar sounds of laughter are not there to lighten your burdens...at least for a moment. We NEED to be together again friends...we are no good apart with what we are going through...have been going through...my sons need their sisters...my daughters need their brothers...they only have each other in the life...all their Bahrain family has virtually abandoned them (only my best friend has made them feel loved, accepted and wanted...she has done her best to be their aunt without the benefit of shared blood...thank you girl...you know they love you like family)...we have NO wasta here and without wasta there are very few opportunities to get ahead...and more importantly...I'm so tired of struggling like this. So very tired.

I miss my kids. I miss my family. I miss my country. I miss my home. I want to come home friends...I want to bring my kids home. To do that I desperately need your help. I installed a donate Pay Pal button on my blog. I ask you...no I BEG you to consider how a donation from you could possibly help a single mom get her 5 children back home to the states and back together again (happy ever after optional but doable)...if you are Muslims I ask you to consider your obligatory zakah for Ramadan could be full filled by helping a Muslim family reunite and get started fresh under one roof. Whatever excuse or reason you give yourself I accept...whatever amount you donate no matter what it is...I accept. I even accept your "good lucks but I cant help right now" comments on my blog. I completely understand...life is hard for everyone. I just ask that you spread the word and reach out to as many people as you can who might be interested in helping us...every little bit counts friends...every little bit counts.

I don't know what flowery words to use right now that will appeal more to you folks...I had it all written in my head...a masterpiece of emotion and stellar use of vocabulary etc to make sure you understood exactly how I feel and I desperately want this to happen....how I NEED this to happen to retain my sanity...my ability to breath in and out without each breath a sharp pain of self doubt and longing for my kids that are far away....and feelings of uselessness in taking care of the ones that are here because I cant find a job or get help etc. I want to go home people...I want to finally feel sure that I can stay there this time because ALL the kids are coming with me and not feel torn in half because 2 were left behind last time (which caused me to return to Bahrain in the first place). I cant let this opportunity to pass...and so I beg.

Please please please...that's all I can ask. Please donate whatever amount you can be comfortable with and help this mother reunite her kids and get back home. I ask that you tell as many people as possible..possibly even link to this post in hopes of reaching more. Every little bit helps.

Average cost of tickets is Bd400 x 4 = Bd1600 which is approximately $4500.

That is my goal...and I hope...yours too...in some small way.

Thank you and may God bless you.

P.S. a short summary of this 23.5 years just to give you some ideas of what we have been through.

1986-met and married an Arab man while a very green 17 year old

1987-came to his country of Bahrain in the middle east

1987-2007 suffered years of abuse and basically held hostage due to divorce laws and custody rights being very one sided in this country

2007-discovered husband had been sexually abusing our daughters for years...threw him out...obtained divorce with threat of prison etc (however this country is VERY lenient with sexual predators so I knew that was just bluffing)

Since 2007 we have been struggling here without proper work...without money...without help for the most part (a few exceptions here and there of course)...I was able to send two kids home to my family last summer in hopes that we could follow soon...but that dream was never realized....and so here we are.