Wednesday, August 26, 2009

It's Over People....the Fat Lady Has Sung. About Freakin' Time

CURRENT BALANCE IS APPROXIMATELY $4410.00 THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! PLEASE KEEP THE DONATIONS COMING....PLEASE!!! Sept 1, 2009 9:50 am Bahrain time $4500 is the goal and Sept 20 is the target

Last night had to be right up there with moments in my life worth remembering again and again. With 4 little words from someone I love very life finally found a achievable goal...a view on the horizon worth aiming for.

We are going home! at last...all of us. 23.5 years after stepping hesitant feet on wild and unfamiliar tarmac in which my journey has been long...painful...and mostly very lonely...with some moments that made it all worth while thrown amid all the chaos just to give me hope that it would get better....I'm finally able to say the words with complete confidence and joy...we are going home!!!...potentially that is. Listen up.

Last night after discussing with my son (for those of you not up to speed, and you know who you are, my middle son has had great reservations about going to America and some personal issues to deal with and I couldn't leave him behind) and reminding him about all the issues we have been facing here...all the problems, set backs, fights, drama...not to mention unpaid bills due to my inability to find a job (the list of cons is long my friends) and how going to America would allow 5 of us to work...not just me (age limit here and driving limit higher) and educational opportunities are greater and I can receive help from the govt meanwhile I cant even get a foot in the door over here anywhere....and numerous other pros for going we can ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN reuniting with my older daughter and youngest son who are there all ready....(and of whom I miss sooooo freakin much).....he looked at me...took a deep (DEEP) breath and said 4 little words that will change our lives...

"Ok...lets do it."

My heart has not hit a normal beat since that moment.

Now, getting everyone in agreement at last to returning to the states was the HARDEST goal I had to achieve (for those who are sitting there thinking....why didnt she just throw him on a plane whether he wanted to go or not?...issues remember...not to be discussed here and now)...but now that I have that in hand...I have one more obstacle to I need 4 tickets friends and strangers alike. I have no

Now here's the thing...being as its Ramadan airlines have drastically reduced their prices for the month. If you purchase tickets before Ramadan is over... rather than pay the Bd1200 or more advertised just a few weeks prices are around Bd400 give or take. I can actually get 2 tickets for the price of one...or 2.5 to be precise. That is ...if I had the money.

I know some of you are sitting there thinking this is MY problem and not yours...and your right...completely my problem...but I'm desperate. I have 5 children to support. No job for over 8 months. 2 are in the states and 3 here with me. We haven't been all together since last summer. I cant seem to get my feet under me here in Bahrain no matter where I turn or who I ask for help. Promises are made but forgotten. I am continuously disappointed by people who pretend to care...then forget us once we are out of sight. For me I don't mind...I'm use to people being what they are...but I have my kids to worry about. I cant feed them without borrowing money from someone to buy food...or going begging at the local charity for a coupon and dealing with drama from those bearded narrow minded woman haters who hesitate to help me simply because I took of my enforced hijab after 20 of marriage to one of their bearded narrow minded brothers who not only made our lives hell every day and every moment...but left my children with a lasting legacy of pain and shame after subjecting them to sexual abuse.

We have suffered friends...and are still suffering...from what that man did to this family...then walked away. He isn't paying child support (or sometimes does but not the court ordered amount) and enforcing it is almost useless here. Courts here hardly show sympathy at all for the many many women that suffer from their men acting less then morally upright...whether they call themselves Muslim and a Muslim country or not. I have found no sympathy with the courts.

My family has helped us as much as they can...but with this amount of money they have told me bluntly that they cant manage it at this time...and this time is when the opportunity is best...reduced prices for Ramadan. It wont come again until next Ramadan and I don't want to wait another year to go home....not if I can get all my kids there and in one place again at last...RIGHT NOW...THIS MONTH.

Not to mention that school has started so time is important for that as well. Suddenly everything is important and my mind is crowded with ALL the things I have to do just to make this happen...but I cant start on any of those things unless and until I know I will have the tickets before the month is over (Ramadan month).

I'm not too proud to beg people...for my children I will beg on my get them all together again under one roof...back in America at last I will beg until my knees bleed. Its that important to me...since we separated (with the best of intentions) we have suffered not only what this culture and country throw at us...what life in general has thrown at us....what the economy has thrown at us....but we have suffered most of all from being cut in half. We only have each other...and its soooo much harder to bear the bad times when familiar arms are not there to hug you...familiar voices are not there to console you....when familiar sounds of laughter are not there to lighten your least for a moment. We NEED to be together again friends...we are no good apart with what we are going through...have been going sons need their daughters need their brothers...they only have each other in the life...all their Bahrain family has virtually abandoned them (only my best friend has made them feel loved, accepted and wanted...she has done her best to be their aunt without the benefit of shared blood...thank you know they love you like family)...we have NO wasta here and without wasta there are very few opportunities to get ahead...and more importantly...I'm so tired of struggling like this. So very tired.

I miss my kids. I miss my family. I miss my country. I miss my home. I want to come home friends...I want to bring my kids home. To do that I desperately need your help. I installed a donate Pay Pal button on my blog. I ask I BEG you to consider how a donation from you could possibly help a single mom get her 5 children back home to the states and back together again (happy ever after optional but doable)...if you are Muslims I ask you to consider your obligatory zakah for Ramadan could be full filled by helping a Muslim family reunite and get started fresh under one roof. Whatever excuse or reason you give yourself I accept...whatever amount you donate no matter what it is...I accept. I even accept your "good lucks but I cant help right now" comments on my blog. I completely is hard for everyone. I just ask that you spread the word and reach out to as many people as you can who might be interested in helping us...every little bit counts friends...every little bit counts.

I don't know what flowery words to use right now that will appeal more to you folks...I had it all written in my head...a masterpiece of emotion and stellar use of vocabulary etc to make sure you understood exactly how I feel and I desperately want this to I NEED this to happen to retain my ability to breath in and out without each breath a sharp pain of self doubt and longing for my kids that are far away....and feelings of uselessness in taking care of the ones that are here because I cant find a job or get help etc. I want to go home people...I want to finally feel sure that I can stay there this time because ALL the kids are coming with me and not feel torn in half because 2 were left behind last time (which caused me to return to Bahrain in the first place). I cant let this opportunity to pass...and so I beg.

Please please please...that's all I can ask. Please donate whatever amount you can be comfortable with and help this mother reunite her kids and get back home. I ask that you tell as many people as possible..possibly even link to this post in hopes of reaching more. Every little bit helps.

Average cost of tickets is Bd400 x 4 = Bd1600 which is approximately $4500.

That is my goal...and I hope...yours some small way.

Thank you and may God bless you.

P.S. a short summary of this 23.5 years just to give you some ideas of what we have been through.

1986-met and married an Arab man while a very green 17 year old

1987-came to his country of Bahrain in the middle east

1987-2007 suffered years of abuse and basically held hostage due to divorce laws and custody rights being very one sided in this country

2007-discovered husband had been sexually abusing our daughters for years...threw him out...obtained divorce with threat of prison etc (however this country is VERY lenient with sexual predators so I knew that was just bluffing)

Since 2007 we have been struggling here without proper work...without money...without help for the most part (a few exceptions here and there of course)...I was able to send two kids home to my family last summer in hopes that we could follow soon...but that dream was never realized....and so here we are.


.::Tuttie::. said...

May Allah swt make it possible for you to reunite your family. ameen.

fred_says said...

Good luck. You deserve it. I wish I could help, but financially I cant. Sorry. I hope your family is reunited.

Chiara said...

Great post! Funny title and eloquent accurate plea. May all of us contribute what we can (am trying to figure out Paypal options for me now).

Meanwhile, how about forwarding this or a version of it with a cover email to:

1) the mosques in your US destination(s) and the major mosques in major Arab-Muslim cities, eg Dearborn Mosque Michigan
and the ICA there
New York City, Boston, Washington DC, Fairfax VI, Los Angeles, Houston, and Southern California

2) major Muslim organizations like CAIR,ISNA, ICNA, MSA (nb college aspirations of older children, also students and alumni good organizers and do alot of charity work), American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee (ADC)--Mona St Leger, a Christian Arab who works there, is the mother of 4half-Arab/half-English children, knows the pain of divorce and poor compliance with support payments, and settled in the US after years of living in various ME oil countries.
They could either help or help get the word out. for more info.

I would also specify that you need to have purchased the tickets by the end of Ramadan (give date), and can fly after that date.

Good luck, and keep up the active plan to be FREE at last! and ALL TOGETHER again!!! and WORKING!!!!

Chiara said...

PS great photo!

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Don't give up hope, I'm going to try to do whatever I can to get you some help.

Anonymous said...

Hey Red,

I did make a contribution, sorry it's not more but it's a start and if your other readers chip in a little too maybe you can begin the exodus. If you can only raise enough for one of you to go now, well that's a start, and maybe that one can get a job State side and start sending a little home each month to bring the next.

What is your planned destination, Texas? Florida? Let us know how it goes.

Fat Too
Fat Too

أم ترافيس said...

assalamu alaykum, may Allah make it easy for you and guide you to the best

Why dont you also contact Half I heard they make great contributions in situations like this

I will also post your request on my blog to spread the news, and in shaa Allah others can do the same.

Jaz said...

May God help you! Unfortunately I am financially unable but you can have my prayers and best wishes. I'm sorry.

caraboska said...

Right now I am not able to contribute anything, but I probably will be able to do so before the end of Ramadan. In the meantime, may the Lord bring this good intention of yours to pass, and may you have peace of mind about those parts of the situation that are not under your control at the moment. It is good to hear you have a light at the end of the tunnel...

Faith in Writing said...

Coolred, I've just sent you a donation. I really feel for your situation and hope you can get home. I'll put a post on my blog about it.
xx Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I'm unable to donate right now but sure will later.I really hope things work out for you as planned.

coolred38 said...

Tuttie...thank you so much.

Fred...your well wishes are quite enough..thank you. always working overtime with information...thank you.

Stacey...thank you and I hope you are successful in whatever you do.

Fat Too...every bit helps so dont feel sorry. Thanks so much.

Untravis...thanks for the suggestion and thank you for the post on your blog. worries...thank you for your kind words though.

caraboska...thank you for your words of support. I appreciate it.

Faith...thank you cant imagine how happy that makes me for those that are making posts for me. worries...Im not going anyhwere...for now. Lol.

Anonymous said...

Hi Coolred,
I really hope that you'll be able to manage it and was just wondering why can't you apply for a repatriation loan from the American embassy?

Nikki said...

Just paid my credit card bill today...but once it goes through I'll be making a contribution. :)

chloe said...

Dear Coolred,
I have never left a comment before but your plight has spurned me to write to you and give you encouragment and also my donation to your air tickets. Is it possible to install a money meter on your blog so maybe ppl will be more inspired to help out if they can see the progress..?just a thought.
Also, before you leave Bahrain can you go and pay a visit to your ex and castrate him....!!!what a low life, I was sickened to read what hell he has put you and your kids through.!
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can start your new life with the help of your sisters in the blogsphere ..plz check your paypal account and give us a running total..!

Mona said...

Coolred, I'm making duaa for you and posting a link on my blog to spread the word. I hope that inshaAllah on the other side of a month you'll be posting from the US with your family around you.

AlabasterMuslim said...

Tuttie posted a blog about you, leaving a link for all to come and see your blog. My mother lives outside of the US and i wish so much i could have her come back. I think more than anything a mommy needs her children, and children need their mommy. I wish i could donate more, but inshallah it has helped you some. *tear* I really hope from the bottom of my heart you can come back to america, and your whole family can reunite and forget the past. AMEEN!

ellen557 said...

Have donated, will put a link to this on my blog too! <3 I hope you get home!!!

Nikki said...

credit card cleared and I kept my word. Does it tell you who donated? Because my real name isn't Nikki...

Aynur said...

My eBay store has been soooo slow recently, but I can donate a small amount of money and InshaAllah that will help, it's at least something. :)
I think Chloe's suggestion of a money meter or something would be cool to see! :)

Jman said...

How to make a contribution? it doesnt say

Jman said...

oops i see it now. Sorry i will make a contribution! Coz thats what the jman does! :)

coolred38 said...

Anon...thank you. I approached them before but did not meet certain criteria. I will do so again as that was some time ago. Thanks.

Nikki...thank you.

Chloe...thank you very much and castration is never far from my mind...if only. I will check into a meter reader thing...took me forever to figure out the paypal...Im not very widget

Mona...thank you very much. Thats wonderful. I hope Im there too and will surely let you all know.

Alabaster Muslim...thank you. Every bit makes me that much closer so no worries. Thanks for the kind words.

Ellen...thank you for the link and for helping out.

Nikki...yes it tells me. I hope nobody minds me knowing who you Thank you I said...every bit helps. Thank you and I hope your business picks up soon.

Jman...thank you very much.

Ayesha Tuabin said...

Salaams. Came to your blog via Achelois a while ago. Have been touched, amused, upset by various entries. I have made a donation and pray you get the full amount in time to buy the discounted fares.

Keep writing - I want to know how you get on.

Anonymous said...

Hey Red,

Anon up there made a very good sugestion, repatriation loans might just be the answer here. Google the subject and read up on details and then go armed with info to the American Embassy.

Even if you yourself are not eligible for some reason, that does not mean that some of your children might not be eligible.
I'm not sure how it applies to minors but perhaps your adult son could get one in his own name. that would get you a go ahead for him atleast. Look into it Red.

We are all rooting for you.

Betty (Fat Too)

Anonymous said...

hey.. i'm sorry i can't donate anything cuz i'm not old enough to earn money yet, but i do pray from all my heart for your wishes to come true.. and i hope you reunite with all your children under one roof again.. i'm gonna try to sell some stuff of mine at the moment and donate to you whatever i get from selling 'em, it might not be much but it the best i can do.. good luck and take care. =)

Monica said...

@ Chiara- its Fairfax, VA (not VI)... :) there are many mosques here in the DC area... surely one of them can step up.

I'm going to send what I can- its not much but I hope it gets you home.

coolred38 said...

Ayesha...thank you for the good wishes.

Fat Too...Im doing just that...thanks.

Anon...your well wishes are quite enough...thank you.

Monica...I appreciate it and thank you.

Nader said...

I need your Email address.

coolred38 said...

Anonymous said...

I feel ya coolred
it would be nice if you update us every now and then about how much you still need

Alia Almoayed said...

You're gonna get home soon... I just know it :) I hope my small donation makes a difference. Good luck and keep us posted!

Chiara said...

Monica--I was thinking of Fairfax, Virgin Islands! LOL :P :) No, seriously, thank you, this Canuck can find it on a map, and has visited the DC region including Virginia, but didn't remember my state codes properly. Hopefully all mosques in all Faifaxes contribute generously.

coolred38 said...

Alia...thank you for the well wishes and donation.

Anon..I updated...thanks.

coolred38 said...

update folks...there is approximately $500 in the account right now. Thats fantasic!! keep it coming and a big thank you from all of us here.

Fatemeh said...

Let's get you home, Red! Do you have a PayPal account set up where people can send in donations? That would facilitate things...

coolred38 said...

Fatemah...thank you and yes...there is a paypal button at the top on the right hand side.

Chiara said...

Coolred--I made a post on your post, and on the broader topic of
"Ramadan Zakat, Sadaqa, Charity: When Mixed Marriages Go Awry, and Mixed Families Suffer"
at Tara Umm Omar's blog "Future Husbands and Wives of Saudis"

I hope it sends more people and dollars/ dinars/ dirhams your way!

Mama Kalila said...

At the moment all I can do is pray for you and pass the post alone, but I will definitely do those two things. If I can find any more to do before the end of Ramadan, I'll do that too...

Bee said...

I will help with the little I can. You have no idea how close this hits home for me. I have to figure out our finances since we get paid on Friday but I will do a post for you. It may not be much but please also know I'm praying for you.

Best wishes.

angie nader said...

hi coolred..
give me till tomoro ..its not a lot, but i'm sure every little bit will help.
i hope that you will find your way home fast

purplemoonshoes said...

Good luck, and I'm praying that you and your family are together in the US soon!

PHTK said...

Hi Coolred,
My heart goes out to you and your children. I'll try to help you the best I can. I know life in the Middle East can be difficult as I have spent well over 20 years there. said...

hOPE You and your kids get to come back home to be with your family.
God bless and keep you.

coolred38 said...

Chiara...thank you so much. I hope so too.

Mamma Kalila...those two things are quite fine...thank you.

Bee...a post would be wonderful as I love your writing style and you have a devoted following. Thank you with whatever you can do.

Angie...your right...every bit will help and thank you.

purple...thank you and I hope so as well.

PHTK...thank you and I hope your 20 years were much better than mine...well I had some good times as well...dont get me wrong. *sigh*

JCWillow...thank and so do I.

CM said...

I have also made a post on my blog linking here to your blog. I will look this weekend and see what I personally can contribute. Good Luck! I hope you get what you need!

Shafiq said...

I recently came across your blog (via Tuttie) and I want to say Ameen to her Dua.

Just sent a donation and will try to give more once I find out whether my parents have yet to give my Zakaat money or not.

Chap said...'s Buzz feature reports flights to JFK, WAS and CHI at $843/person on British Airways; American has about $912 or so. So with $500 you're halfway to one ticket.

If you have citizenship, the US military jobs are on if you need a different path.

I'll link and put a fin in the tip jar.

ummufatmah said...

salam alaikum

May Allah make it easy for you to move your family to the US and may He protect you and guide you to what is best for yourself and your children, ameen.

I left a small donation - i'm sorry i couldn't help more.

srinivas said...

dear sister

you may not be knowing about me - i frequent your blog several times :)

i have paid my bit to this society - i pray with the almighty for your and your children's ever welfare

be brave, this is only testing time which would give you nerve of steel

gurudEva dayaa karo deena jane

struggling said...

This is my first visit to your blog, and I can't say how very happy I am for you that you are leaving such an abusive twisted man, really it's the best thing you could ever do for you and your children!! Keep your head held high and know that you are a strong woman :)

Anonymous said...

as i sit at my desk in sacramento wasting my bosses time, figured i could do some good and make a donation to get you and your family home. Hope you will be home safely and soon, my prayers our with you and yours.

coolred38 said...

CM...thats wonderful...the more posts the better for us. Thank you

Shafiq...thank you.

Chap...thank you for the tip in the jar and the tip about jobs.

Ummufatmah...thank you...I appreciate any amount given.

Srinivas...of course I know about you...we visit many of the same blogs brother. Thank you for your concern. Its appreciated so much.

Struggling...thank you for your kind words and for your help.

Anon...thank you for wasting your bosses time on our behalf.

Elyse said...


I found your blog through Susie's Big Adventure. I'm unfortunately in a lot of student debt or else I would be thrilled to help you financially...however, I did contact as many groups and organizations as possible, and contacted a lot of group moderators on Facebook who might be happy to spread the word. So, I hope things work out for you. If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to contact me.


cairo, lusaka, amsterdam said...

Hey there,
I really want to help but I don't have Mastercard or Visa, I only have a Dutch you know any way I can still give money?

Monica said...

Who ever posted the group in Facebook- awesome idea. I shared it on my wall.

coolred38 said...

Elyse...thats fantastic!! I hope some good comes our way from it. Thank you

Cairo...Im sorry Im not to savvy about net payments etc. I had a hard time getting the paypal thing set up as it was. I thank you for your good intentions all the same.

Monica...thank you and yes it was an awesome idea. I see this post all over Facebook...I hope it reaches a lot of people. thank you

Anonymous said...

I just want to know how you can afford, not only a gym membership, but also two very costly pieces of workout equipment, and still need charity? On your blogs you boast of all your possesions from your "jeep" right down to your gym shoes? Queen of all you survey? That smacks of censorship to ensure you come out on top of it all. I see no negative posts or constructive critiques on your blog, your majesty. You seem to not need sleep as you sit watching your cash counter raking it in and striking down all comments that are unsympathetic.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you and your family all the best. Hope your dream of returning to the US becomes a reality.

Organica said...

Coolred: I pray that you collect sufficient funds soon, God-willing.

I will help through tweeting about the post inshAllah.

I am sorta tight on finances since I am jobless at the moment.

Chanelle said...

I can't donate until wednesday next week, will that be too late? I was linked over from Susie's blog and then posted it on my own blog and to my facebook friends.
Good luck, my heart and prayers are with you.

Elyse said...


I've also started Digg, Delicious, and Reddit pages for your blog...perhaps a few readers can help promote them...

Those were the only sites I could think of that I hadn't covered yet...hopefully this helps!

Brittany said...

I was linked here from KimDonesia's blog and I can't believe what you are going through! I'll pray for your family and I only have 3 dollars in my PayPal account, but you can gladly have it. I hope you make it home soon.

aka_Mariha said...

I wish I could have given you so much more than I did, but I know every little bit helps. You and your children are in my prayers. We'll be happy to have you home at the end of this Ramadan, Inshallah.

coolred38 said...

Anon (if thats your REAL name...I highly doubt it)...since you too the time to write such a kind comment I will take the time to write an equally kind reply...Im kind like that.

1. My lovely Red Hot Box aka jeep does not belong to belongs to the bank. Therefore I cannot sell it since that would be illegal. I will return it to the bank as soon as Im prepared to go...thus losing all the money I have paid into it thus far. *sigh*

2. I do have two pieces of gym equipment which are over 2 years old. Ive been trying to sell them for 6 months but most people seem to think I should just GIVE them to them. I wont. Do YOU want to buy some "expensive" gym equipment?

3. I needed some shoes and I bought some shoes...I know...How DARE I!!!

4. If you havent read anything negative or self critiquing on this blog I would have to assume you havent bothered yourself to do so. I will wait while you do that...come back when you finished and then reply again. *...waiting*

5. If Im not Queen in MY life whose life should I be Queen of? Let me know and I will begin taking over her life ASAP.

6. I will admit Im not getting nearly enough sleep these days...worries do tend to keep me awake at night...but thanks for your concern. Do you know any home remedies that will fix me right up?

Just to show you how fair I am in my Queendom...I will allow your comment to remain simply because Im not bothered in the least by it. People who know me, know my life wont be bothered by the implied assumption that Im lying. My life is an open book...or should I say open blog. Feel free to get to know me a bit better before coming here and leaving such drivel. have a nice day

coolred38 said...

Anon #2..thank you for your kind comment.

Organica...I cant ask for more than that...tweet away. I hope your circumstances improve soon as well. Thank you.

Queen...thank you...thats wonderful to hear. I hope it brings some attention as we need as much as we can get. Thank you again.

Chanelle...thank you for posting it in those places. I appreciate it. Im sure next week will be fine. We have til the end of Ramadan which I believe is about mid Sept or there abouts. never would have thought of doing that. Im glad someone here is thinking outside of just my thank you for taking the time to do that.

Brittany...I accept any and all donations...every bit counts. thank you for your kind comment.

Mariha...thank you for the kind comment. I hope to be home by then as well.

coolred38 said...

Anon (first one) I forgot to comment on the gym membership that you mentioned.

1. the gym membership was a gift during a promotion by the gym (very low price for limited time) from my best friends brother who felt I needed something positive in my life...something to work towards...a goal if you will. Working out at the gym has helped me quite alot in several areas. Ive lost weight. Lost some anger in the process...and Ive gained the insight that I can take control of at least ME...or my weight the gift was and is invaluable to me. I will sorely miss the gym but hope I can take it up again when home.

take care

Anonymous said...

How did you get their father to issue passports for the kids so they can leave the country? can't leave with american passports, and even for them he has to sign...???

coolred38 said...

Anon (again?)...I didnt GET the father (such as he is) to sign anything simply because I dont need him to. I have complete and full custody of my children...that would explain how two of them are in the states already.

Are you diliberately trying to find obstacles or is there a reason for these very personal questions?

coolred38 said...

I might add that it would be a very sorry country indeed that required the signature of a pedophile father on any sort of document concerning his childrens well being. Bahrain hasnt sunk quite that low just yet.

Shiv said...

I would like to make a donation. Can i do it through a bank draft? Please advice

Suzy said...

Here from Bee's Musings.

Arab men are allowed to keep and raise their children. This sad story happened to a friend of mine in NY and she was constantly on the run.

Do not ever marry an Arab man who is first generation Arab.

coolred38 said...

Shiv...thank you for your offer. I dont know anything about bank drafts so I cant tell you but I know that many people in Bahrain use them. Is that similar to Western Union as we do have that here?

Suzy...welcome to my blog. I have had my own personal bad experience with an Arab man and I know many others that have as well...but I know some that have had wonderful marriages as well. It happens no matter where you are. But thanks for the warning.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if you´ve already asked the ticket or help to the American embassy or consulate in Bahrain .
In my opinion you should ask help to a TV celebrity like Oprah , she was abuse when she was a child and now she has some ONGs, try to write her
or another ONG. That´s my opinion and you can have more then the ticket back to USA.

coolred38 said...

Anon...thanks for the information about Oprah. Whats an ONG though?

Zdena said...

I wish you all the best of luck and hope that everything will turn out well for you inshaAllah. I don't have much to give myself, but I was always helped by others in time of need and they have never let me get hungry and it would be disprespect not to help, even though very little, when I can. More than money, I can pray dua for you.

Nzingha said...

Cool- I'll link up in the morning (I should be in bed now) And I'll make some calls and see if we can't gather up some funds on this end. Inshallah you and your kids will have tickets this ramadhan and be out of here.

Anonymous said...

travelocity tickets are $898.00 round trip from bahrain to nyc ...
so i have no idea why your tickets are so much?

coolred38 said...

Zdena...thank you and I also believe that we should help others as we dont know when we will need it returned to us.

Nzingha...thank you sister...Im hopeful it will generate responses.

Anon...(wondering why the people with the negative remarks are always Anon?)could be because I NOT going to NY...Im going further into the country...which adds to the price....but thanks for the information all the same.

coolred38 said...

Not to mention it will most definitely NOT be a round way all the way thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hey anons quit giving coolred a hard time. Could she have saved money somewhere in her life? Probably. Would you have managed to save more money than she has? Probably not.

Just cough up $10, $5, $1 for the lady and say a prayer of thanks that your mistakes didn't land you in some foreign country as the fourth spouse of a wanker or worse.

Ms. Coolred please take a spin on the elliptical for me and Yipppee for the nice Bahrain guy that gave you the membership in the gym.

Hmmm. . .Coolred. . .I'm just shooting off steam here so you don't have to publish this. I'm not usually this vociferous.

Another thought. . .too bad you weren't the fourth wife; ya know nothing like spreading the joy a bit to take the pressure off.


Regards, Annie

Eastern Reflections said...

Hello coolred,

At the moment I am not able to donate financially. In 2 weeks I will be able to. Is there a way to send you the money via Western Union? I am not familiar with how to use paypal.

Keep your chin up little lady!!! You and your kids will all be together here in the States soon!!!

Daisy said...

Coolred - A bank draft is somewhat like a cheque - you take it to the bank where you have an account and deposit it. The money is credited to your account in a few days' time. International drafts may take a week.
Shiv - you'll have to send an International bank draft.
In fact, that's why I too haven't been able to donate, eventhough I very much want to - in South Asia most people don't have a credit card and they send money through bank drafts or cheques or pay in cash over the counter. Credit cards are still in little use here and involve certain conditions which everyone may not be able to fulfil. I've applied for a Visa card, which will take about a week to come.

Daisy said...

Just to add to the above - Western Union counters are also not many and many cities don't have them at all - except in places like Goa and Kerala perhaps, from where many people go abroad.

Nzingha said...

cool- shoot me an email at nzinghas3-at-yahoo-dot-com please. Talked to the man and he is going to try and get some tickets.

as for the anons and their travilocity break downs due to a quick search, please add in tax, airport fees, and a slew of other things added to the ticket as well as her proper destination. The deals going on now in ramadhan is the best red will get in this here part of the world.

I know she is judged for buying a pair of sneakers and all.. oh how we judge. But unless you are going to be part of the solution, if by nothing more than a good thought than why comment?

coolred38 said...

Annie...I read your comment at 4 am when I should have been in bed made me laugh out loud...seriously. Thank you for that.

Eastern Reflections...thank you and yes we have wester union here.

Daisy...thanks for the bank draft info...I had no idea. I also undersatnd how sending money cant always be an easy thing to do...Ive never had a credit card either. There are other businesses similar to western union here but I cant tell you what they are...I have never needed to use them.

Anyone that has the intent to donate but cant for whatever reason...dont feel truly is the thought that counts sometimes. Thank you all the same. that would definitely help out. Will send email ASAP.

Daisy said...

Coolred - After I get my Visa card, I'll contribute. Meanwhile, I've posted your blog link on my Facebook page. It's good to know that you're getting tickets now.

Shiv said...

Red - I have credit cards but i am not comfortable using it here that's why i asked you about the draft. I dont have a Paypal acccount, i'll look at that. I so much want to donate but if nothing works out then i'll come down to Bahrain (it is 2hrs drive from where i live) and give it to you. Actually, i am very much disturbed by your story and if i dont do anything it will kill me for the rest of my life.

Daisy said...

Shiv - I must appreciate your sensitivity and your desire to go out of your way to help. Most probably we are from the same country. Please send me your email address - I want to send you a facebook invitation.

Chiara said...

Bank drafts are very easy and secure--you go into the bank and they make up a fraud proof bank draft in the amount you want to the person you want, and you mail it (registered for security but may slow delivery).

The cost for the draft is paid by the sender, and is less than a bank transfer fee. Postal orders work the same way, but are issued from the post office. The receiver takes the bank draft in to the bank (or the postal order into the post office) where it is like cashing a check (may require ID).

Western Union money transfers require the sender to go in to a Western Union Agent's office (locations easy to find online) and fill in a form, pay; the receiver goes to an agent (in the Bank of Bahrain for example) and with ID and the sender's receipt received at home from Western Union receives the cash

More info including locations:

All Bank of Bahrain and Kuwait BSC locations are closed on Friday except the Bahrain International Airport.

Best to put payee as Lee Ann Fleetwood rather than Coolred, Cool Red, the Queen of Cool, etc. LOL :)

Address to use could be emailed I guess to those donors who prefer this or a PO box created or post the postal station address and mail with a note on the front of the envelope with name and to hold for pickup.

Paypal has a good reputation for security.

coolred38 said...

Daisy...thank you for putting me on Facebook...thats wonderful. Thank you for the kind offer as well.

Shiv...I would most welcome you to come visit me in person. After what I hear about credit card fraud etc...I too would hesitate to use them on Im doubly thankful to those that chose to do so on our behalf.

Chiara...thanks for the info as always.

tenaciousrei said...

I read your blog but don't think I have commented before. I gave a bit and will keep you and your family in my du'a.

Anonymous said...

Coolred,I cant help right now but I'm making a prayer for you in the middle of the night.

My family was stuck overseas and I snuck away , spent a year putting together money to get mom here and she had to sneak away in the middle of the night with her 8 kids.

that was the longest year of my life and so full of pain and anguish.

keep strong love...

coolred38 said...

Anon...thank you for you kind words.

Tenaciousrei...thats wonderful thank you.

Anonymous said...

i'm the anon with the ticket question .. a one way ticket shoudn't be as much as a full fare .... i see tickets for 654 one way which is $2616 and can't you get to nyc and then take a bus to your final destination?


coolred38 said...

Queen...thank you for forwarding on those comments. I dont mind them because I know they are not right. Whomever it is could clearly identify themselves over here on my blog and let us see who it is and what their motives are.

At any rate to answer those comments.

1. I have NEVER claimed to be a prisoner in Bahrain unable to get out and about. Obviously that person hasnt bothered himself to read my blog even a little. I was a prisoner of sorts while married as the divorce and custody rights for children were in the ex's favour and I would be forced to leave the country and my children if I pursued a divorce at that time. Once I learned he was a pedophile...I quickly rushed for a divorce and full custody and he put up NO fight from fear.

I CAN leave at childrean CAN leave at anytime, hence two of them are already in the states...however, financially I have been unable to manage that move for ALL of us and as I stated in the son was having personal problems that put leaving on hold anyhow.

2. The paypal was done by my daughter in the states because paypal does NOT allow people in Bahrain to withdrawal money from them. We can put money in but not take it out. So she will be the one to remove the money and send it to me.

3. I have been to the embassy many times...Im not sure what sort of help everyone assumes they can give...but I have approached them again recently and they are discussing out circumstances and will get back to me...but nothing was promised. Story of my life.

4. Are we to assume that for the last 2 years or so Ive been going on about Bahrain on this blog for no other reason than to fool all of you at some later date in order to scam money from you? If your that gullible then you deserve to lose what ever money you do lose. I dont want to sound mean but thats more dedication to a scam than anyone would give in my opinion...scammers want to get money quick as they can...they dont waste too much time setting the scene so to speak.

At any rate...any person from this blog or this area is free to come visit me...sit down with me and the kids and discuss my scam until they are convince either way...then report back to all of you. Im need to buy a ticket and track me down some place in America. Any volunteers?

5. This person doesnt seem to even know whether Im a man or woman...which of course means they know nothing about this blog or who I am...not even my to state that I hate Muslims is rather comical considering my children and I are Muslims...whatever. Wont even bother with that one.

Anyhow, Queen and anyone else who will read have to make up your own minds. Your money is YOURS...its not mine until you donate it and if you do donate I want it to be with a clear mind. Anyone have questions that are bothering them...lets here them. Im open to answering anything.


coolred38 said...

Ellen...maybe you are confused but those numbers I wrote are first in dinars, Bahrain currency, then changed to the equivilent amount in dollars. The Bd400 is the average cost of one ticket right now. Yes different airlines might go up or down a few dinars...but I put the average cost just to make sure its covered due to fluctuations. $4500 is for four tickets one way to midwest america. I dont know about you but I would not care to ride a bus from NY all the way across a third of america..much less after travelling across the planet. I would if I were forced too..but hopefully thats not the case.

Monica said...

re your number 4 above... thats exactly what I said to someone- why would she spend 2 plus years for only 4500 bucks if it were a scam? People are cynical, I will give you that, but seriously, use your brains folks. 2 years of this is not worth 4500. If she were making this up, she could make WAY more money writing a book. Which actually might not be such a bad idea once you get settled at home!

I will say- though, that despite the retarded negativity posted by Anons (if you're going to call her out, at least be honest about who you are)... the outpouring in the "blogosphere" has been really really touching and while its not entirely renewed my faith in humanity, it has helped move me a step towards it.

You're getting close now, YAY!!!!!!!!!

Barbara said...

If you can purchase tickets on-line from a US-based agency (eg, Expedia), you could probably pay for the tickets directly using your PayPal account. That would avoid the hassle (and transfer fees) involved in sending the money from the US to Bahrain.

Chiara said...

Coolred--well stated!


ellenln--one way tickets are often more expensive than 1/2 a round trip fare because the seat sales are usually round trip, the airlines calculate cost by distance with the price per mile/kilometre going down the farther you go, etc. Having followed Coolred's blog and her comments elsewhere, and those of others about her, as well as knowing something about marriage and divorce in the GCC, I trust she needs to get out of Bahrain to the US with all her kids, and is looking for the cheapest, fastest way to do so. All of her adult life (and late adolescence) has been spent in Bahrain and she has successfully raise 5 American-Bahraini children, but their place now is in the US.

Barbara--my own experience with Expedia is that their fares are consistently higher, often by a lot, than the national or major airline of any destination I've tried. The major and national airlines have more direct routes, and multiple fare strategies that reduce the cost; and make it fast and easy to organize your reservation, and book and pay online (unless you are travelling with an infant). One relatively hilarious example is trying to get to Martinique (for research purposes only of course LOL), from Canada which is expensive because there is no direct route. But the Canada, US, France, Martinique route is REALLY expensive.

Any airfare not going to a major hub is more expensive, eg Canada to Providence Rhode Island is 2x as expensive as going from Canada to Boston (nearby) or New York.

Transporation, food, and accomodation costs for ground travel across a major chunk of the US eats up a chunk of any saving on airfare, particularly as buying the one airfare direct through would be cheaper than a second ticket NY to where ever.

To the Anonymous people--I respect that it is hard to trust anyone in the blogosphere, just by definition of its relative anonymity, but as a psychiatrist/psychotherapist who has met with some patients 2-3 x a week for 2-5 years, it is VERY hard to sustain a scam for this long. I don't know much about scamming for money but it seems stories of triumphant investment opportunities and rapid disappearance work better than requests for 4 one-way airfares from a blogger who is willing to be found.

Finally, Coolred and her children have been unusually forthcoming, over years, and recently even sent me family photos and permission to publish them with names on my post on this at Tara Umm Omar's blog "Future Husbands and Wives of Saudis".

I hope this helps.

Chiara said...

Oh, and to the Japanese people confusing this site with a Japanese erotic services company--donate this week's "fun money" via Paypal. Thank you very much!
Domo arigato!


coolred38 said... for the nicely put directive to the asian "fun crowd"....hopefully they will heed your advice.

coolred38 said...

Monica...thanks for the support. Im not too concerned with the anons. People have the right to believe as they choose...and the right to donate or not. The. End.

Barbara...thanks for the info. I never even thought of going that route. I dont have much experience with purchasing anything on line much less using paypal for it. Will look into that.

Chiara...I just learned that flying to the smaller than average airport that is in the city I want to go to costs several hundred more then flying to the major nearest airport that is 3.5 hours away. Go figure.

Thanks for the info.

Aynur said...

I would personally not take a bus from NY to the midwest, it would be torture! Has anyone ever been on a bus for that long? It takes days.... and it's not comfortable.

How are you doing towards your goal coolred??

Francesca said...


I've given my (modest) contribution this afternoon.
Actually I don't know you: I jumped in here from "Susie's Big Adventure" blog, and what I read about your and your children's sufferings, really touched me.
I hope that God could accept our prayers during this holy month of Ramadan.
Best wishes!

.::Tuttie::. said...

MashaAllah! You are almost there! May Allah swt make it easier for you to reunite your family ameen.

Alex P said...

I think sometimes people forget that unlike North America, most of the world is not linked to the internet 24/7 and that many people over 30 don't love and trust online purchasing processing. Paypal and many other online systems are very safe... and Visa, MC, and all those other credit cards have protections for their customers incase someone sets up a paypal account and somehow uses it to make undesired purchases.... (I worked for a bank in their credit card fraud dept... The customer is well protected, and the paypal or other processor can be harshly penalized for allowing someone to abuse the system) CoolRed is obviously doing her best in a crap situation. Yes, if there is a major hub city nearby, sure why not fly in there to save a few hundred bucks. Then there's the expensive taxi ride to the bus station, the wait for the inconvenient bus time and then spend a gross 5 hour bus trip beside some nasty man who smells like corn chips and BO. You're SOOOO right, thats a GREAT first impression for her kids who are obviously in a grievous state, being 1)totally messed up from their traumatic stuff, 2)separated from their siblings for a year, 3)completely jet-lagged from a zillion hour flight, OHHHH and not to mention 4)already precariously balanced in this decision to come to America because Bahrain is what they know as home. Are you KIDDING? Have a heart. Let this poor woman, for once in her freaking life, have something easy. She wants to fly everyone to an airport where they can get off the plane into the open arms of snuggly family members, and whisked directly to a refuge where they can tuck into bed, relax, catch up with their siblings, and be OK. All she is asking is to go HOME. Who are you to criticize? It may not be the cheap way, but its the way that will make these poor little poppits feel safest.

Cool- I didnt help much, but I gave what I could. Im so sorry for your pain. I am astounded and inspired by your strength and resolve. Write yourself a book, the feminist publishers will be all over it.

Anonymous said...

Hey Red,

Looks like you are going to be getting those tickets out! I expect you are going a little crazy now trying to make necessary arrangments at both ends but what an adventure you have to look forward to.

Moving is hard work and stressful but dont let the inevidible difficulties get you down. If you stick together you'll get through the transition and inshaallah you'll all be happy in this new life you've chosen.

Of course we are all expecting regular up-dates on your progress.

Betty (Fat Too)

srinivas said...


see, s many gods are behind you. block the tickets and book once the target is reached

i pray with the almighty for your ever welfare

gurudEva dayaa karo deena jane

Daisy said...

Just a small suggestion - instead of arguing over what the ticket fare should or shouldn't be, why not just go online and check what they are for 1 adult and 3 children one way and add may be 1200 dollars more for extra costs? I haven't done it, but those who are bothered may just try it out.

kbryan said...

I am one of the many that have donated. Please put a "goal" number on your blog and let us know how much more is needed by a certain date. Thanks & good luck on getting home soon.

Daisy said...

Kbryan - the goal number is $4500 within the period of Ramzan.

Chiara said...

Srinivas--you are consistently a kind spirited man!

Daisy--good advice for the concerned to ball park a fare--the children are all over 12 and 2 over 17, so it is closer to 4 adult tickets Bahrain International Airport to the US Midwest. Plus reduced fares like Coolred is describing don't usually allow any other discount.

Coolred--maybe just a line added to the end of your update--Goal: $4500

Japanese fun seekers--Did you read that?
You know what to do! Click that Paypal button and spend your "fun money" wisely and medically safely! Thank you very much! Domo arigato!


coolred38 said...

Aynur...actually my family and I landed in NY the winter of 1996...we were the last plane to land as the Storm of '96 was just bearing down full force. We were supposed to fly to D.C. but ended up riding a was a horrible bus ride...bus broke down in the blizzard...had to wait for another one...oh wait..I should leave this for a might be of interest to It was an interesting journey.

Franseca...thank you for the jump. I hope God does too.

Tuttie...yes...amazing isnt it?

Alex should be the one writing the that was inspiring in a "now I dont want to travel cause you reminded me of the horrible things I got to deal with" kind of way. Thanks for your kind words and for your help.

Betty...thanks for the words of cant imagine just how stressful it can be getting all the various paperwork in order...rearranging your whole life etc...and moving across the planet. Stressful!!! hardly cuts it. lol

Srivinas...thank you sir. I appreciate it.

Daisy...good suggestion...but its 3 adult and one child...because of age cut off of 12.

Kbryan...thank you and I will.

Chiara...medically safe? so your saying you cant catch swine flu over the net? relief

Daisy said...

Coolred and Chiara - Thanks. Yes, those who want to know the cost can simply calculate for 4 adults one-way tickets and add overhead costs. Please keep it in mind that the airfare for Bahrain to Chicago/Detroit or anywhere else (sorry, I don't know the names of many Midwest cities)will be different for different cities - the farther you fly, the more the cost-may be a little less for Chicago O' Hare. In fact, if anyone can hit a fare lower than $4000, inform Coolred, so she can save some money on that.

Chap said...

I've found a little cheaper on; the prices change minute to minute, though. Cheapest way is to find a hub airport near where you want to go.

Cheese said...

Coolred - Perhaps Ellen is not very much off the mark (forget her negativity for a while) - Travelocity is offering one-way tickets for 3 adults and 1 child for 17th Sept from Bahrain to Chicago O' Hare for $2630/- see link;jsessionid=3AC16DF2B2F1155CF8432F1803B1E290.p0706?leg=30&targetLegIndex=0&breadcrumbStart=1&sortOrder=TOTAL_FARE_ASCENDING&recordNo=0&dispNewTimeStamp=&pathIndicatorCode=KIA&flightPath=TF.
But of course, we don't know where you're flying to and how much the onward journey from there will cost. As Daisy suggested, add $1200/- to the amount above and you get $3830/-. If we only know where you are flying, a low-cost fare can be found for you.

Cheese said...

Just to add to the above - this is a Gulf-Air flight with one stop at Frankfurt.

CM said...

Coolred - it has been exciting to see the outpour of compassion from others for you and your family. I think you are going to make your goal. I made a donation yesterday but not as much as I planned as I got a phone call from my sister who needed money to pay a lawyer. Her ex-husband has decided to make her life a living hell by filing frivolous legal challanges - along with other horrible activities. But that is another long story.

I will keep watching and maybe I can donate more in a couple of weeks if you still need it.

I am so glad you were able to get out of your bad situation and now I hope you can relocate and start over. Best wishes!

The Queen said...

Lee Ann,
I'm so glad you are finally going to get out of there!

Looks like you'll even have enough to pay your back rent before you go.

I can't even imagine all the flurry of activity going on in your home right now. It must be so exciting actually having a future to look forward to.

I told you not to get those darn dogs!! LOL I had to say it!

Good luck to all of you!

coolred38 said...

For those who are quoting airline prices...thank you for your help and concern...and Im well aware of how to find such prices...which is why I put an average cost based on what i searched for that day. I also realize that prices change over soon as I am prepared to make the tickets...I will search for the best deal.

CM...thank you and I appreciate it. I hope your sister works her way through that drama...been there done that and no more thank you. brought up an issue I was hesitant to mention considering the anons on here...but Im working on that. As for the could I say no when looking at those pretty little brown eyes. They were good company for a couple of months. Something to smile over.

Chiara said...

Actually I was thinking of other communicable diseases, ones a little more serious than swine flu, but hey given the swine flu hysteria:

Japanese fun-seeking readers--donate to Coolred's airfare fund! It's fun! It's safe! It will improve your mood, and boost your endorphins! It will help your swine flu immunity and there is no risk of you know what! Thank you very much. Domo arigato.

日本語楽しい読者を求めて- Coolredの航空運賃の資金を寄付する!楽しいわよ!これは安全だ!それは、あなたの気分を良くし、あなたのエンドルフィンを高める!それは、あなた豚インフルエンザの免疫に役立つだろうが、あなたのリスクはない知ってる!本当にありがとうございます。

Alex P said...

Coolred: Im sorry if I gave you the jitters. I just don't understand peoples need to rag on your choices when you are obviously in a gross situation, and are not taking advantage of anything... if you made people PAY to view your blog, and it was just a giant coo koo clock, sure... then people could be mad. but the only people giving to you are those who choose to do so, people who feel your plight is urgent and genuine. I think your right to request help is an important one, just as I understand that peoples right to refuse help is allowed. but peoples right to judge your circumstance when they havent been in your exact situation just makes me kinda livid- the whole "dont point out a sliver when theres a plank in your eye" idea comes to mind... or if you prefer bambi references- if you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all! You are a patient lady, and full of awesome.

.::Tuttie::. said...

o man did you reach your goal?? please share...i am so excited for you. :)

coolred38 said...

Alex P...thanks for the words of encouragement. I cant make people believe me...I can only put it out there and they can make up their own minds.

Tuttie...nearly there!!

tenaciousrei said...

Wow and MashaAllah! I came by to check how everything was going and you are almost there! I went W00t! and jumped around in my seat a little in happiness for you. LOL, I bet you are about to break into song and dance. :)

Anonymous said...

I keep coming back to see if you have reached your goal yet....???

Umm Omar said...

Hey Coolred. My thoughts & prayers are with you. Insha'Allah, I'll put a post up on my blog and make a contribution. May I make a suggestion? I don't know how much you've raised towards your plane tickets, but perhaps, if you ask for a loan, you would get a better response? In any case, I hope you get to where your heart is and where you and your family will find peace and security.
Oh, and this may not be an appropriate time (sorry), but you've been awarded at my blog.

Suad said...


I don't know if you read this article in today's issue of the local AlBelad newspaper:

Anonymous said...

From what I can tell from that article is that guy saying that the US/town coolred would go to is full of "hard-core racists against Arabs and Muslims" and they shouldn't go there because the mom or girls won't/can't wear hijab? what?
Maybe my translation is wrong??

ButterflyBahrain said...


You are 100% right and I already commented on this in my latest post


coolred38 said...

Hey all...I didnt particularly like that article but it did have an amazing affect here in Bahrain. I will explain all that in a post here pretty quick.

tenaciousrei...thanks for the WOOT!! same feeling here.

Chloe...we have reached the goal and so much more...just wait and see.

Umm Umar...thank you very much for your concern and thank you for the award.

Saud...thanks for the headsup...alot of people sent it to me incase I didnt see it. basically says for people to help me to stay here rather then me run off to a country thats going to lead us there are no "astray" Muslims over here.

Butterfly...gonna check it out.

ButterflyBahrain said...

I forgot to put the link:

and by the way, butterfly = Suad :)

Chiara said...

Finally! After having a lovely comment eaten (it was tasty I'm sure), and being shut out by the commenting options, I can Name/URL (optional) myself to commenting bliss!

Glad to see the 4410.00! I did an update post yesterday at Tara's blog with the new links to your new and improved (all new things are new and improved!) website.

Sooooooo close, I hope people put you over the top!

The Queen said...

yeah!! Did you book it?

coolred38 said...

Chiara...sorry. I forgot to allow all comments earlier. I agree Im sure it was tasty...they are usually filled with...s....pice! lol. Thanks for the update over there.

Queen...not yet...still waiting on the passports to be completed so I can set a date...cant do one without the other. unfortunately.

أم ترافيس said...

Ma shaa Allah, I am happy to hear your news :) May Allah guide you and protect you in your endeavours. I hope this is the beginning of a new, happier path for you and your family.

Ramadan kareem

Anonymous said...

Arrived here from mamamona's blog.

May Allah continue to give you the sabr (patience) needed in this life - may your patience be your ticket to Jennah insha'Allah.

May Allah accept all your fasting, prayers and dua'a in this blessed month of Ramadan, and may easy on you the purchase of tickets, the passport completion, and journey and settling back in the US!

Alhamdulillah, you've completed the $4500 now :)

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