Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Drip drip...

I learned to swim when I was around 6. I have swam in pools, ponds, rivers, lakes and oceans. I have no problem with large bodies of water no matter what size. I didn't think it really mattered how much water there was, if you know how to swim, you swim. You wouldn't drown unless something tragic happened. You swim in an ocean just like you swim in a swimming pool. 

However,  I have learned in my life  that there is a certain body of water that is just the right amount that could put you in danger of drowning if you aren't careful. Funny thing is, it's not very much water at all. A tiny little amount in relative terms. About the size of a tear. Or two...or three. 

The only body of water I have ever feared drowning in is the one made up of all the tears I have shed in my life and not just any tears, not the ones caused by others but the ones I have caused myself. Those are the most toxic and most likely to fill my lungs and drag me under into its suffocating swirling black depths. 

You would think I would keep that in mind, that toxic body of water, that grows deeper with every new drop I feed it. 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you were raised by a sociopath father. and married one straight after leaving home. it's like the broken didn't have time to heal before going to a place to stay broken. only you don't have the brain of a mental freak, so you are and have broke the cycle. you most likely went through the ptsd of all the years of hell. I read you were in the military, if so did you have an honorable discharge and if so, you are elegible for veterans preference for federal jobs. something to consider and look into. hope you are doing well.

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