Saturday, September 5, 2009

You All Know What Im Going to Say Next Right?

Ok...sooooo here's the story so far.... I get the group okay to go home at last...have minor heart attack (ok major but lets not be picky over details) and rush to the blog to put out a plea for help. Next thing I know complete strangers...and some not so strange (hee hee) jump on board the "lets get Coolred and family home" bandwagon and within a very short week or so...WaLah!!! Lots of money is donated and....ANNNNDDDDD!!! so much more then anyone could even expect under such circumstances. Listen up people...
Right now there is enough in the pot to go straight to the nearest airline and buy 4 tickets...which I would be rushing to do post haste except! I have had several offers from some people here on the blog and some people here in Bahrain to donate a ticket or two...despite the money raised. So I'm holding off just a wee bit on that...if I can go home with some money in my pocket to get our lives started why not grab that opportunity? Scary enough pulling up stakes for the Great Unknown...doing it without a bit of green in your wallet is heart stopping.
Anyhow, some of you may have seen the article in Al Bilad by one Mohammed Othman (no idea why he wrote it...he never talked to it was in Arabic but essentially said 'how can we let this poor Muslim mother of 5 head off into the lands of the unbelievers where they wont be allowed to be proper Muslims when we could help them right here and now in Bahrain and shame on all of us?"...something like that. I don't want to sound ungrateful to Mr Othman but he seems to have little faith in our abilities to resist the temptation to turn into *gasp* Americans...and all that entails (loss of morality and ethics as such I'm assuming). Heads up Mohammed...we are Americans and proud of it...but my kids are Bahraini too...why cant they be both in the eyes of Bahrain and not just Bahraini? Just a thought...anyhow....
Apparently many people seen that article (so a big thanks to him for at least getting the word out) and Ive been getting phone calls from people offering this that or the other (could someone explain to me how all these people got my phone number? anyone?)...but essentially HELP!!! help to get us all back to maybe pay my bills (several months late rent, electric etc) and help in giving me some peace of mind that this will be just bit easier then I was anticipating. only reservation with receiving all those phone calls is that I have received many such phone calls in the past which resulted in I will take them for their word...wait patiently for a week or so and see what pans out...but not much more than that if I can help is starting in America...need to get on the ball...or plane...a better form of transportation for sure.
I've also been contacted by the GDN (Gulf Daily News...local newspaper here) and did an on the phone type interview for them...apparently there will be a snippet about us in that paper too sometime this week...very cool. Considering how many letters I have written to that newspaper over this past 23 years and the "notoriety" my name has received on occasion from people (autograph anyone? lol) who recognized it...wondering what sort of reception that will pull off....hmmm?
I'm somewhat stuck here still due to passport hangups. The kids are good to go but mine is still awaiting a visa as my Bahrain visa expired (before all this happened) and its been in the Ministry of Passports for awhile now. 23 years Ive been receiving visas without too much hassle...NOW its taking forever!!! Murphy's Law truly sucks sometimes.
Ive gotten a few other phone calls and a little birdy has informed me of something else that POSSIBLY may happen for us...I definitely will NOT hold my breath on that one...been here too long to fall for such talk as that. Fool me once and all that...*sigh*. I will let you all in on those subjects if they do actually turn out to be true. *yawn*
My two kids in America are VERY excited that we will be arriving any time now. My 11 year old is over the moon his brothers WILL be coming this time...he needs his bros. I cant wait to see him. I FREAKIN MISS THAT KID!!!
I know this isn't over yet...until we are all safely in America I wont let this long LOOOONG held breath out and relax...but I do want to thank everyone...every single person who donated anything at all...from money to well wishes and prayers...for this humongous thing you have done for me and my kids. I can only hope we deserve it and put this opportunity to good use.
More updates coming as soon as I have some to pass on. Stay tuned can only go uphill from here. Yahoooooo!!!
*I will keep the paypal button there for anyone that still wants to donate at anytime. The response has been overwhelming and more than I could have dreamed of...but I wont refuse more help at this point. Every dollar counts when making this sort of move. Thank you everyone.


Anonymous said...

Mashallah. You did it! Its nice to see the people of Bahrain actually attempting to help (well, you will have to wait to make sure they're sincere, but I have faith)

All the best - you deserve it

.::Tuttie::. said...

sigh. sometimes my fellow muslims are indistinguishable from the ignorance they are supposedly fighting against.

You know what is best for your family and I suggest you pray istikhara. Alhamdulillah you have other options and inshaAllah they materialize. However, if they don't and you miss the Ramadan special you might regret it. I personally don't know what you should do I am just wary of those promises as you have received them before.

I am making dua for you and your family.

Chiara said...

Coolred--YES!!!!! Midwest we have touchdown!!!! You forgot to mention your daughter is over the moon, and in full preparation mode!!!! Right Red?

Tuttie--I believe Coolred is just holding off a week, but will definitely get the Ramadan special tickets, and leave shortly. Right Red?

I hate the expression "woohoo" but this is definitely a WOOHOO !!!

Chiara said...

PS charge a fee for the autograph signings, you need the income! LOL :)

.::Tuttie::. said...

I second charging for autographs.

janice said...

I was so happy this morning to open your blog and see the goal was reached. It seems fitting since it's Labor Day weekend and reminded me of all the Jerry Lewis Telethons for MS.

Wishing you and yours all the best, in America you can do ANYTHING!

janice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suad said...

I am very happy to hear the good news, you deserve it. However, if I was in you position I would wait little bit. I think Mohamed's article might bring you some good news, you never know :)

Whatever is your final decision, I believe that you should have the option to live here when you choose to, at least your children do since they are born here and what I mean by living is to have a proper accomodation and your ex-husband should be responsible for his children (financially at least) whether he likes it or not.

Wish you and your children a happy life after all what you have been through.



Anonymous said...

Good that your leaving and it feels good to get rid of the headache that you caused. whining and crying about your shitty life when you have many opprotunities in Bahrain to make your miserable life better. So, you mean in all this time, this is the first time the people of bahrain, bahraini or expats, have ever helped you? I belive that is not true we both know better don't we? I pray that you do better in the States than here in bahrain and the only way you will be able to do this is to let go of everything that happened, (and I do mean EVERYTHING). And don't screw it up like you did here.

.::Tuttie::. said...

@anon. WOW. Your message sure helps her deal with her perception of bahrainis. Way to prove her wrong. Good JOB!

Chiara said...

Suad--I agree that while it seems best for the whole family to be in the USA now, the ties to Bahrain should be kept with options to live and work there open for the future. I see it as a five yr financial, emotional and educational plan, with future revisions after that major commitment is made.

It would be nice if some Bahraini lawyer or judge read Mohamed's article, thought of a way to hold the ex or his family responsible for child support first of all, and alimony for a time, a close second.

Japanese fun people--any one of you an International Family Law Specialist? I leave this message untranslated as you will need excellent English skills to be of use in this instance. Domo arigato!

barb said...

I have one thing to say to you anonymous...take your unsympathetic, nasty, arrogant and very RUDE attitude and peddle it elsewhere. I have watched your answers on other blogs and if anyone says even the TINIEST thing that is not ultrapositive about their experiences in the ME you attack them in a vicious manner.I can't help wonder if you are a man who has never had to face such difficult circumstances and therefore cannot possibly comprehend how difficult it is. Also your attitude certainly doesn't show that Allah and all his teachings have, in any way, penetrated your heart. NO country on earth is perfect and people should be able to express both their good and bad experiences without fear of hateful attacks by you.

coolred38 said...

Shafiq...thank you and yes...cautiously optimistic.

Tuttie...Im wary as well....but any sign its not worth waiting for then Im gone...yay!!!

Chiara...daughter is definitely full steam ahead. She's waited for this as much as I have.

Janice...thank you. I hope that remains true lol. Its what keeps me optimistic about this whole project.

Anon...aha so we meet again. Something about your comment just reeks of intimacy. Do we know each other by chance? If not then I suggest you actually READ this blog and become better acquainted with the facts.

I never ever claimed NOBODY has helped me...of course they have or I wouldnt have made it this far...but helping me to simply maintain my status quo is not the same as helping me to improve my circumstances. Not to mention...NOT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO ME IS ACTUALLY ON THIS like I said...unless you KNOW me you dont have a clue. And if you DO know me...Im still waiting for that apology as are my kids.

btw when it comes to MY kids...I will let go of NOTHING. There is NO forgive and forget when it comes to what happened to them.

barb...if ANON truly believed in his or her words...they would make themselves known...and present FACTS here. Thanks for the comment.

The Queen said...

You need a visa to go back to the country that you are a citizen of?

School has started get those kids on a plane!

srinivas said...

really wonderful to hear!

again and again i pray with the almighty to pave your future life on a smooth path

gurudEva dayaa karo deena jane

PS: please settle down quickly at your place, and then blog :)

Anonymous said...

Yaay! I hope your passport gets out of that place soon and back to you. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy you made it. Good luck :-)


Nzingha said...

glad to hear you reach your goal and that others are reaching out. Words are words here (we know that) what matters if people act. (we both know how that goes too).

Nzingha said...

btw Queen she needs a visa to be in Bahrain.. if the one she had expired and she tries to leave on it she will have a pricey fine and if she can't pay it she can't leave. It usually doesn't take long but it is Ramadhan the world moves slower here :)

Anonymous said...

I'm not one to spread my opinion unless I am asked however I have been following your blog for awhile. I would say that I feel sorry for you and donate - but it seems like you are not ever going to get over you past and move on. I think you need to go to America to remember what its like to actually work and support yourself. The internet is only going to support you for so long!! You are embarrassing the American name. All you do is complain about Bahrain, the people, the culture, and the religion- so you should go back! One day, your kids are going to read this and you should stop begging and using their horrible past to make a future for yourself and your kids...The constant reference of the "physical abuse" is not going to work forever.

Gardens of Sand said...

Congratulations CoolRed. Inshallah your life in the US will be filled with peace and joy.

I googled and read Mr. Othman's article and no where did he state that you are heading to the land of unbelievers, nor did he indicate that the US is a land of unbelievers. He stated something to this effect: in the US there are those that are racist against Muslims and that Muslims may be unable to practice and express their faith freely or comfortably.

And he urged the Prime Minister and others to help you and your family.

All in all an ok article, although he could've written it better, been more critical of the folks that harmed you, explain more about the harm that your family has experienced. Maybe he heard of your blog/need and did not read your entries to familiarize himself better.

Best of luck in your new journey.

Gardens of Sand said...

Forgot to mention something that may be helpful.

My husband's Bahrain visa expired when we were visiting this summer (he is an American). Rather than extend it, he paid the amount owed when we left the country at the airport. The fees paid, was the cost of the visa for the period, so it wasn't really a fine. My sister's kids (American too) go through that every yr. Rather than extend their visas, she just pays the fees at the airport.

Elyse said...

Hooray! I knew you (and everyone!) could do it.

coolred38 said...

Queen...I needed to renew my visa for Bahrain...I started that process before all this they are delaying giving it back to me....grrr!!!

Srivinas...thank you and I will do just that. too. Supposed to get it back tomorrow.

Alex...thank you.

Nzingha...yes...we all learn far too soon that words can just be words sometimes. Slowing down during Ramadan hardly describes...more like

Gardens...sorry for the mistakes comprehending the Arabic reading comprehension has fallen dismally and the translation I got gave off that sort of feel. Thanks for the info about the visa...I will definitely do that if need be.

Elyse...hooray from me too. People have been awesome!!

coolred38 said...

Anon...*sigh* is there someone holding a gun to your head making you sit in your on my blog and read it? Well not read it too closely since you have no idea what your talking about. I suppose it would be easier to remove your comments but I will leave them...just makes you look nasty...whatever.

btw my kids read my blog and support my decision to do this and go to America...must be their greedy western side taking over.

One more thing...I actually write very little of the abuse I suffered in my marriage or even at the hands of the ex family...I just mention it generally...if you would like an actual run down then that would be quite a post indeed best left for another time. The fact that you tell me to just "get past it" means you are most likely a man that has no sympathy for victims...if you happen to be a woman..I feel sorry for you...I do.

San Antonio Cicily said...

Yes anonymous Bahraini's are wonderful especially when it comes to compassion. Father rapes his daughters and they blame the daughters because it happened! REAL NICE!!! Where is the logic in this, please tell me, I'm dying to know! Yes the west is evil we don't perform honor killings when women are raped, we don't stone people to death for adultery,instead we forgive. We don't blame women when they are raped and tell them it is there fault instead we go after the perpetrator. We don't tell women they should cover up and chastice them publicly when they don't. We don't tell people what religion they should practice, instead we leave this choice to each individual person, as this is their right to choose. Oh and what about the placing of babies in orphanages instead of letting the mothers keep their babies. So esentually if a woman is raped pray that she doesn't get preganat by the sex offender because if she does it will certainly be her fault and on top of that she will be forced to give up the baby. A much better decision than letting the mother raise the child in a loving home. NOT! That was sarcasm yes. Its this kind of backwards thinking that gives muslims a bad name. Im not the one bashing raped women, or forcing them to give up their children. Seriously you can't really expect people to be sympathetic to this insane backwards way of thinking. I have no respect for anyone that would condone this, and I pray everday to god and am thankful that I was born in america so that I dont have to live in this insane enviroment.

Gardens of Sand said...

San Antonio Cicily, Bahrainis are like other folks, there is the good, the bad, and the ugly. There is sh** every where, even in the US. Rape, domestic abuse, gangs, hate crime is an everyday reality there. Yet it is not what defines America. It has a lot of good too. Bahrain is the same way. I usually don't like to comment back, but I cannot begin to tell you how offensive and racist I found your comment to be.

While some muslims (and I'm sure hindus, christians, atheists) do the stuff you mention, not all of them too. Stereo typing and condemning a whole people for the actions of a few doesn't do anyone any good.

Bahrain does not stone, perform honor killings and is generally the most tolerant among its neighboring countries. Incidently, stoning is mentioned in both the Torah, Bible, and Quran, but that is another topic.

Peace to you.

San Antonio Cicily said...

Christians don't follow the old testament of the bible this is just the history of the bible. The diffiereince between the US and the MIddle East is great. Temm me gardens of sand are women aloud to keep their babies if they are raped and do the families come out to support the vicitims and do everything they can to help them. Ask anyone in my neighborhood if they would blame a woman if she was raped and the answer is no put the sex offender in prison. I do agree that bad happens everywhere, of course it does. Its the way we deal with it that differs. If I am wrong about how rape victim are treated please tell me so and if you have a story to back that up it would be great! America is not a utopia by any means, however I am glad that when I get raped I have support groups a supportive family and a commmunity that supports me and condems the sex offender. Maybe I am wrong about how raped women are treated I would greatly appreciate you explaing what a rape victim can look forward to in Bahrain after she is raped.

coolred38 said...

Cicily...I would be the last one to paint all Bahrainis with the same brush...I know they are as diverse as any other people...but most of what I speak of is personal experience...and that hasnt always been it may be my fault if your getting the idea ALL are like that. Far from it.

Garden...not sure about the bible and torah...but where does it mention stoning in the Quran? Just wondering if I missed it since I generally argue that its not in there. btw there have been a few instances of "honor killings" here in Bahrain in the years Ive been here...but they are not labled as such...but everyone is well aware of how or why sister, daughter or wife met an untimely death.

angie nader said...

very happy you reached your goal, and i hope you and your family return home safely!

Anonymous said...


I'm leaving this anonymous to try and up the reputation of the anons but we do seem a hopeless lot!

. . .hmmm. . .maybe I better give it up and get a google account or figure out this URL thingy.

Anonymous said...

Gardens - stoning is not mentioned in the Qur'an as a form of punishment that should be used ... that's from the hadiths.

Gardens of Sand said...

Aynur and CoolRed I stand corrected.

Cicily, much peace to you. I learnt ages ago that some people will condemn and judge a whole ppl regardless of what I or others may say or do. With such folks, I know not to bothers. I need to remember that more often. Think what you must, believe what you want. I only thank God that all ppl are not quick to judge like that.

Nzingha said...

Gardens- that is interesting.. cause a friend of mine was charged a flippen ransom when she tried to leave on an old visa. They had the money to pay but it would have been much less to renew the visa. She was several months over.. maybe it is the time that makes the difference?

cicily- large sweeping brush you got there.. must be quite a load to bare

anon- Why don't you move on?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
coolred38 said...

Angie...thank and so do I.

Anon...thanks for the upbeat comment. You have redeemed your visa expired in hopefully not too much of a fine if I go that route...but considering that have had it all that time and have done nothing with it...seems I shouldnt have to pay any fine. Only fair.

Anon#...I removed your commnet considering the depths you have fallen too. Now comments are on moderation...have fun.

jackie said...

Will you continue your blog state side? I hope so, I've enjoyed what I've read so far and I think your new adventure will make for good reading.


Anonymous said...

Hey Red,

Might be time to turn the page here before the stone throwing gets out of hand.

I'm sure you still have a lot to do to get ready, I hope the visa business can be resolved before you get to the airport. And don't wait too long to get those tickets.


always in the kitchen said...

Cool Red,I haven't been able to contribute but am sending prayers and best wishes for a safe journey.

San Antonio Cicily said...

I didn't condemn a whole people Im not ignorant enough to think like that, I was simply responding to what anonymous said in his post. I have family in Iran, Turkey and friends in KSA. So please don't even go there with the racist stuff. I am simply stating the experiences that she has had in Bahrain after he accused her of begging and talking negatively about Bahrain. Where is his compassion for a woman that has been beaten and had her children mollested by a sex offender who just happens to be Bharaini! As I have said before the US if far from being a utopia. Yes we have our problems too. Murder rape etc. I just find it odd that her daughters have been blamed for what happened to them! I find a lot of things odd but I won't go there. I just wonder where Mr. Anonymous's compassion is! He sounds like one of those guys that thinks women are property and should obey men,cook,clean and keep their mouths shut.

Ayesha Tuabin said...

Alhamdullilah! So glad you reached your target !

TheFirebrand said...

Hey hey CoolRed!!!!

I made a posthumous donation to your travel fund. It's not much and I wish it was more, but as a grad student I was happy to do anything to help you. I truly hope you and your family will be at peace and can start afresh and be all you can be and more! If you ever find yourself in the nation's capital do shoot me a line, you definitely have a friend here. (though I am apparently an infidel to Mr. Othman--I think I will take that as a badge of honor as I don't see any reason why doing what is morally right and ethically sound could truly make me a [an unbeliever--gasp!] bad person. lol!!!)

Congrats CoolRed you're on your way!!!!! Ramadan Kareem!

TheFirebrand said...

San Antonio City, you are being terribly unfair to generalize the whole of the M.E. the way you have. It doesn't reflect good on you and I as Americans and because of you right now I am offended. I hope you realize that your gross characterizations of the Arab and Muslim world is as backwards on your part as sometimes theirs can be of us--it takes a willingness to listen and be open to others--not lambast them and in the process end up misrepresenting ourselves in the process. In the words of our President: "So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, and who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end.

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles - principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings."

We all would do well to remember that we have more in common than we think.

Nzingha said...

red do you have someone working with it? Mr. Man has personal that are always there if you need someone to check up on it (just renewed my visa-two days) let me know.

Gardens of Sand said...

Nzingha, my husband's visa was expired for 10 days. My neices and nephews usually 2-4 months. Maybe they were fined because their family are Bahraini and they should be Bahraini but are not. Maybe it's coz they are US citizens.

Everyone I spoke to prior to going to the airport told us hubby din't have much to worry about in terms of fines, etc because he was American.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Yippee!!!--no need to do anything special. Just click Name/URL and put something of your choosing in the Name category. The URL is optional. So your comment would appear "Whatever in the Name Category" said...

Chiara said...

Anonymous Yippie!!!!--no need to do anything special. Just choose the Name/URL option and put something of your choosing in the Name category. The URL is optional, and thus can be left blank. Your comment will come up: "whatever you chose in the name category" said...

This is a great and very easy option!

DW said...

Let nothing discourage you from what you were set to do, in fact, I feel disappointed by the article... even though he might have written about your situation or intended to offer some kind of help.. his justification just drops its value to moot.

Coolred, fly home, I wish you all the best. I know money is going to be tough for you ahead, but at this moment, I think you should play your cards while you still can.

coolred38 said...

Sorry everyone...I forgot I put moderation on...then was wondering why there werent any comments.LOL Im not thinking very clearly these much to do and too excited.

coolred38 said...

Jackie...of course I I said...this blog is my cathartic release..I dont imagine all my stress will magically disappear in the states..might just be replacing old ones with new ones...*sigh* btw glad you like what you read.

Betty...I got the passport back but its damaged even further then it was when I gave it to have to make a new one...more time passing...ugh.

Always...thats perfectly fine. I accept prayers just as well. Thank you.

Cicily...I think I know who anon was so I realize what "his" problem was...certain people cannot take the blame for what they matter what. Its ALWAYS someone else fault. Came through in that comment (and the one I deleted) makes me say...hmmm?

Ayesha...thank and so am I.

Firebrand...put me on ur calendar then at some future meet up. I need all the friends I can get back home...been along time since I was there...thank you.

nzingha...they refused to put a visa as the passport was damaged so need to make new passport. Generally the embassy does that pretty quick so hopefully by next week it will be done.

Gardens..I hope thats true...right now all I really need is MY passport to be renewed due to the damage....hopefully they will let me keep the old passport with the recently expired me somewhat when I leave.

DW...thanks and I agree.

Umm Zayna said...

@Coolred, Congrats! I read your story and I'm sorry to hear about all ur troubles. I wish you all the best back in the States. And please remember who helped u - when complaining about the Muslims to the kufar.

Attn: All Muslims(if any)on this blog. I'm not sure your contribution during the Month of Ramadah will be written as Zakah for you, and Allah knows best. Sending a muslim family to live in the land of the non-believers - Have you no sense?

"Verily, as for those whom the angels take (in death) while they are wronging themselves they say: 'In what condition were you?' They reply: 'We were weak and oppressed on earth.' They say: 'Was not the earth of Allah spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?' Those will find their abode in Hell, and what an evil destination." Surah An-Nisaa:

"And as for those who emigrated for the cause of Allaah after suffering oppression, We will certainly give them goodly residence in this world, and indeed the reward of the hereafter will be greater, if they but knew. Those who remained patient and on their Lord (alone) they rely." An-Nahl: 41-42

@Coolred "Betty...I got the passport back but its damaged even further then it was when I gave it to have to make a new one...more time passing...ugh"

I hate to be negative here, but ur a you have your passport but ur still complaining Allah will not change the condition of your situation until you make some serious changes and return to ur religion.

coolred38 said...

Um Zayna...I thank you for your congrats...but Im not sure all your prayers will benefit you if you can come on here and tell people their generous donations wont amount to squat cause America isnt a Muslim land...from where Im sitting right now...Bahrain isnt much of one either...nor is Saudi or Pakistan or any of those other countries who declare such a distinction.

Being Muslim is WHO you are...not WHERE you...and all the planet belongs to God...not just the Arabs part of it.

Such a condescending comment you left...what a started out so well.

Chiara said...

Coolred--feel free to delete the Anonymous me commenting to Anonymous Yippee about commenting options (too many anonymi) LOL :)

My understanding of zakat and sadaqa, as well as good deeds, is that they all count towards the favour of the Muslim performing them no matter towards whom. It would seem to me that helping a Muslim mother and her Muslim children achieve financial stability, receive an education, and grow emotionally and personally in a country where they would have more options, if only because it is so large and populous, would more than qualify for zakat, sadaqa, and good deeds, as long as the giver had good intentions in the eyes of Allah (once again, far more generous of spirit, by definition than humans).

I hope all the Muslims who have contributed here, prayers, advice, support, and money, feel rightfully positive about having done so. And of course all fellow Abrahamic believers should feel good about their Christian caritas, or Jewish mitzah. Secular humanists and generous Marxist materialist have excellent ethics as well.

Those continuing to contribute beyond your attained goal are equally meritorious.

Okay, down off pulpit/ minbar/ bimah/ tebah/ soapbox.

Anonymous said...


San Antonio Cicily said...

Im not talking about the good Bahraini's out there! Of course there are good and bad everywhere! Your country is no different than any other place on earth including the US. I am talking about the people who made her life a living hell and Mr. Anonymous. If you choose to think Im racist I can't change your mind. I know whats in my heart and thats all that matters! If she experienced this in the US I would feel the same way!

San Antonio Cicily said...

I have a problem with a religion that states that your contribution towards a non muslim or someone moving to a non muslim country doesn't count! WOW! My religion tells me to help all regardless of religion! America is a place where people can practice the religion of their choice. We have Muslims Christians, Jews, Mormans, Bahai's etc. I find it odd that you call this a non muslim country! I call it freedom of choice! I also find it racist that you call us a land of non believers! Are you suggesting that all muslims in America move to the middle east to live amongst believers? I thought in America you could believe whatever you want! Thats what is so great about it!

Anonymous said...

Umm Zayna,

As a Muslim living in a 'non-Muslim' country, I can assure you that Coolred will be perfectly fine living in the US as a Muslim - not that it matters. We helped her because she was in need, not because she was Muslim. Not to mention the fact that the US is her home and Bahrain has one too many bad memories for her.

coolred38 said...

Chiara...good comment. thanks

Cicily...this religion doesnt state that...only UmZayna believes that apparently. Poor her.

Shafiq...thank you. I appreciate the comment.

Anon...I deleted your comment AGAIN..but please tell me...if I had the choice to go to America penniless with 5 kids...or at least a bit in my pocket...should I refuse to do that? Would you. Please tell me how much you dontated and I will return it to you quickly so you can better sleep at night knowing it wasnt wasted on something frivolous like..oh food or whatever...when we got there. Please stop coming to my blog if it pains you so much.

San Antonio Cicily said...

Boy you sure have anonymous's pants in a bind! I guess he has nothing better to do or is angery becuase he lost the battle, if anonymous happens to be a certain person! lol Anonymous needs help!

Chiara said...

Anonymous Amin--Thank you.

Shafiq--Well said.

I must add that the Dharmic religions have been excellently represented here by Srinivas; and charity or helping others in need is to be found among Buddhists, Taoists, and Confucians, as well.

Japanese fun people's contributions count too. At least they have contributed humour, if nothing else, and humour is the best psychological defense against despair.

Coolred--you are welcome, and your responses to the grumpy invidious Anonymous are excellent.

Donald said...

Hi Coolred

I'm not a regular reader of your blog, but heard about your plight via CM. I wish you all the best rebuilding a better life for you and your precious family.

There's going to be no convincing the nasty 'Anonymous', but as humbling as asking for help can be, I think most of us find ourselves in that position sometime during our lives. When we are in a position to give generously to someone in genuine need, we should do so — and when the tables are turned we should swallow our pride and ask for the help we need.

Our family has struggled financially from time to time, but in one of the worst times, my wife happened to share with some people in her church prayer group. She just wanted prayer, but what happened is that one of the ladies actually gave us a VERY generous gift of money to help us out. She tried to do it anonymously which shows just how genuine an act of love it was — but we found out who it was. I was embarrassed about it and wanted to pay it back when we could. When I phoned the family who gave it to us, they said no — they said there would come a time when we would be in a position to give to someone else, and that's the way it works. :) So I hope it will be with you too — that one day you will blessed financially and will remember those who are in need of a helping hand.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Once you move please keep us updated through your blog. Knowing a few people in States, I might be able to help.

Also its sad to see how this has turned into a debate of Muslim vs Non muslim issue. Human came first, then came the religion. Lets keep this as one human being just doing their job of helping out another human.

For anyone who is speaking on behalf of Allah, please know that Allah doesnt need you to represent him so kindly concentrate on your own lives and stop worrying about his feelings.

Congrats again. Although I dont know you personally, I felt your pain and anguish in every word I have read so far. You are a brave woman and your kids are lucky to have you as their mother. Hopefully we get to meet up once you move to states.

janice said...

I completely agree with Donald.

Very well said.

Nzingha said...

Gardens- I can't explain it. My friend who was charged a ransom is American, Christian, and on a business visa. Perhaps that makes the difference? the type of visa? She was over several months and I remember it being over 300 BD

Umm Zayna- I read your comment and at first I took offense, for several reasons. 1. I wondered who in the world you are to declare what Allah will accept and what Allah won't. 2. I wondered how selfish you could be if you only act seeking reward in some way. But perhaps this is a reflection of ones state of where they are in the diyn or simply their understanding.

I than thought of how sad a person can be to come to this blog and make such a reference to Red for being frustrated with a process that would make anyone scream on a good day. But than I thought well she hasn't a clue as to how things go over here.. or is in the position to where she doesn't have to deal with it but than I thought she should not make nasty comments and utter alhmadulillah.. for anything else would be her guilt in the same thing she accused red of.

Than as I sat and pondered a response I took notice to your very contradictory comments.

1. You start off by taking credit for red being able to return to the states. You as a collective Muslim idea that you seem to speak from.

2. You than condemn that any Muslim would actually aid her to return to the US

You simply can't have it both ways.. and than it just occurred to me. This is reflection of one who isn't making any sense but wants to bash others for the delusion of superiority. The whole nafs thing again but I think that is too big of a discussion.

Of course I could be over analyzing your statements all together and that is Chiara's job and she can grade me :)

red- I can't help but wonder if anon is your ex or some close relation.

coolred38 said...

Cicily...been thinking the same

Chiara...I can handle the odd miscreant now and then...long as I have my trusty baseball bat.

Donald...I agree wholeheartedly with your comment...and thank you very much for coming over here and leaving it...for me and anyone else that needs a reminder. Today we maybe be the one offering the help...but tomorrow it may be US that needs it. Myself an example for anyone to heed. Thank you and Im glad you got the help when your family needed it.

Besheram...I will indeed keep my life updated on the blog...been doing that so far so no need to change things now. I tried to remain neutral on the post asking for help...not mentioning religion at all (other than a few bearded men references) mainly because I dont want anyone to take it into the religious arena. Alas...people have to take it down that road by force if necessary...just to stir the post and rile the natives.

Nzingha...I was thinking the same thing *sigh*

Gardens of Sand said...

Nzingha- Oh my, I can't explain it myself. My husband is American, while Muslim, does not have an Arabic name nor anything on his paperwork or person that points to his faith. He is Italian American so his name is very very Italian. His visa was expired for 2 weeks. He did not offer any explanations nor did the officer ask for any. When the officer looked at our passports (mine being Bahraini, hubby's American), he excused himself, asked for an employee, who looked over our passport. Then he came and told us that there is a fine imposed for letting the visa expired. I asked him to just forget about it (in a nice way) and he laughed. He then told us the fee is BD 5 (US $13) which is the cost of the 2 week visa. We paid and left.

Maybe the fact that he was married to a Bahraini (I assume they know that we are married) helped? I dunno.

Chiara said...

Donald and Besharam--well said, and I agree.


Coolred--pack the bat!

Anonymous said...

have been following your blog just of late, and was able to help ever so little, but as the saying is every little bit helps, so you return to the USA, with your family, being a native of northern california and older have no idea why anyone could find fault with your need to move,wish you and yours a safe journey, sometimes enough is enough.

.::Tuttie::. said...

"I have a problem with a religion that states that your contribution towards a non muslim or someone moving to a non muslim country doesn't count! WOW!"

@cicily. you see that is the problem. When I was raped as a child (when I was Christian) by a supposedly Christian man in a mainly Christian country for years as "religious" people fed me to him I didn't sit there and blame all of Christianity for his transgressions or his interpretation of the bible and his 'rights'. I blamed the singular man and those who knew about it, helped him and did nothing for me.

anon obviously has issues and lacks compassion but that is their issue and not any country as a whole. Umm zayna's interpretation is a sad one and a wrong one. So why pin her beliefs on the 1+ billion others who don't share it?

I think you need to remember that just like Christianity has different denominations and its fair share of wackos so does Islam or any other religion for that matter.

I understand many ME people have lived through oppressive colonization and they have their own nasty stories to tell and that is fine (I am hispanic and I also have stories). But to pin it on the WHOLE people I disagree. Even though you mentioned in your previous post that you are not blaming bahrainis as a whole you need to re read your posts prior to that to see that you did come across like you were doing just that even if you didn't mean to.

Last thing, I hate negative generalizations about Americans by others (mainly non Americans) or of living in the USA. So why would I do it to others? I treat them the way I want them to treat me, with respect.

**I am also sorry for judging Mr. Othman as the message I read on CoolRed's blog wasn't the message he gave out so I may have backbited him. thanks CoolRed and Gardens for correcting it.

On a side note Coolred wOot woOt! tell me if those promises materialize inshaAllah and when exactly should we expect you state side?

I am still making dua for you and tonight at iftar (about 12 more hours to go) and inshaallah it will be answered.

San Antonio Cicily said...

I talking in terms of what anonymous believes about his religion, not the entire muslim religion. Everyone interprets their religion differently. You know what I hate "People who put words in my mouth"! Anonymous interprets his Quran to believe that donating to non muslims does not ccount. Like I said I have a problem with a religion that states that if you give money to non muslims it does not count. I am addressing this man not the millions of others who interpret their Quaran differently. Im also tired of spelling out what I mean!So believe what you want about me I could care less. Ask me if I care! So once again I am addressing what anonymous believes about his religion NOT what you believe! I hope I have clarified my feelings. Just for future reference my statement are for anonymous not you or anyone else!

.::Tuttie::. said...

@cicily. no one is putting words in your mouth. I was copying verbatim. Even Coolred felt she had to address you with the generalization. However, i can see that what you wrote and what you meant was two different things so I am dropping it.

Anonymous said...


Masriya22 said...

Hi Red, i donated a little bit, i hope it helps, not in a very good position now as i am an unemployee. Please keep us informed about your new life on the other side. All the best for you and your children.

Salams from Spain.

kbryan said...

If the children are free to leave, can you send them on? Do you have family that can meet them? I, too, made a donation to help you and your family return to the US. I pray that you are not staying around there for better offers as you mentioned or something. Sorry if that sounds tacky, but it is worrisome that you are not making haste to leave. Safe travels!

Anonymous said...

hi cool red..
I donated early on and was just wondering what the total amount is now...??..
Congratulations on meeting your goal and best of luck with your new life with your family under 1 roof..

San Antonio Cicily said...

I apologize for giving the wrong impression I just think that his interpretation of the Quran is is wrong and that he lacks compassion. I only hope that he doesn't have to face the same lack of compassion at a time in his life when he needs help! We are all gods people and should treat each other with respect and compassion regardless of our religion and I am sure God would agree with this!

coolred38 said...

Anon..thank you for your kind words and donation. I appreciate it.

Tuttie...I agree with your comment. So far none of those particular promises have come about but a few more have turned up. These sound more promising. *hoping*

Cicily...sorry for the confusion about comments. With several anons on here and lots of comments it might mix up people as to who is replying to what.

Masriya22...thank you and every bit helps and I wont refuse it. Take care.

Kbryan...Im staying around solely for better offers. Im still waiting for MY passport to be completed by the embassy and returned to the meantime Im dealing with all these other things coming up. Thank you for your donation and concern.

Chloe..thank you for you donation and the total amount is up there...but I think possibly 30 or 40 more can be added. Paypal wont open for me today so cant say for sure. Thanks for the kind thoughts.

Cicily...I agree..he sounded without compassion..which really does remind me of "someone" I use to know.

coolred38 said...

To Anon who is now leaving disgusting and nasty comments. Im saving those comments, obviously not posting them, and will have your IP address tracked to determine where your coming from. The internet is not the completely anonymous hiding spot for cowards that you believe it to be. There are also laws governing it which I have looked into and you are treading a very thin line if not crossed it aleady.

Please desist leaving further comments or deal with any and all consequences.

Chiara said...

kbryan--I think Coolred is staying only for a short while to tie up loose ends and take advantage of any offer that might facilitate life at the other end of the journey. The money donated will be used to make the journey to the US, which she prefers be made by the whole family together for reasons of emotional support and family cohesion. Maybe that wasn't clear enough from her reply, or that she is definitely heading to the US ASAP--or maybe I didn't read her reply correctly, and it was clear. LOL :)

Coolred--it sounds as though your Nasty Anonymous isn't very internet savvy and doesn't realize that internet communication is subject to the same laws as other forms of communication: libel, slander, hate speech, uttering threats, pornography, harassment, etc, as the ones which seem to apply to Nasty's mind. Since the internet is global, international criminal law, as well as the national laws of almost any country apply, to any case.

I once had a patient, a graduate student, whose "friend" sent an insulting and threatening letter about her, as a "joking" comment to another friend with an "oops" copy to her. Something like "I'd like to kill that cow" was part of it, as well as allegations she hadn't paid her part of a shared phone bill. Since she was uncomfortable doing so I called the police, with her permission and with her present, to get information. They were verrrry eager to lay charges and only her insistence and the fact that they didn't know who to charge stopped them. The campus legal team agreed, and reassured her that any other milder but similar messages, or any message from that person, in order to build the case against him, could be retrieved from her computer, and any phone bill receipts she may have lost tracked through the banking system or the company phone records. She gave him a warning that she had paid her part of the bill and had proof and asked him to desist from contacting her, and he did.

Nasty Anonymous should get a nicer life elsewhere.

Annie said...

Chiara, that information about the internet is very interesting. I know laws have tried to keep up with the developement of this medium. I find your story encouraging.

My students (10 year olds) used to defend some inappropriate action by saying, "I was only joking." I told them a joke is funny to both people. If the other person isn't lauging, it is not a joke; it is just mean.

The internet does work both ways. Here in the US, pedaphiles are listed on the internet with pictures and addresses so parents are aware of where they live. Computer useage is used as evidence against these people. Of course this is a horrible fate for someone who is not really guilty so I hope, hope, hope that mistakes are rarely or never made.

Anonomous don't do this. The consequences are too big. Maybe you think you are being funny. Think about how it will look to the authorities.

Coolred, I've put a link below (I hope this is okay). As you have gotten into weightloss, I thought that I would share it. It is a great way to track exercise. Although it focuses on people doing triathlon races, you need not sign up for any race ever.

Many people fighting weight problems do this kind of thing as it gives some extra motivation. One of my friends who struggles with weight says, "I like having a goal outside of the mirror and the scale."

Best Regards,

Annie AKA yippee Anon

PS Thanks to whoever explained the URL/name thingy

coolred38 said...

oops...Chiara pointed out my grammar mistake..I meant to say "Im NOT staying around solely for better offers but waiting for my passport to be completed. Should proofread now and then *sigh*.

Thanks Chiara for further clarification on internet misbehavoir. I believe alot of people are not aware there are such laws governing what you can say and get away with on it.

Annie...thank you for the link. Ive sort of wandered off track (but not gaining any weight...just distracted these days lol) so anything that will guide me back on it is a welcome tool.

Chiara said...

Annie--it is heartening that the internet is regulated for most everything the real world is, including plagiarism, intellectual property laws, false advertising, pedophilia, etc.

I am proud that Canada has been a leader in cracking international pedophile rings operating online.

Because the internet is global, you can often choose the countrylaws that are best for you, eg. England for libel.

Thanks for the triathlete link, I have be CONTEMPLATING starting a triathlete training program--so far only a thought but the link is a start!

That was me both times with the Name/URL info--I got so excited I posted once as Anonymous without realizing it LOL:)

Chiara said...

Coolred--you are welcome. Yes many behave foolishly to their ultimate regret.

annie said...


I love this site. It is very encouraging.

Many overweight people use it. I don't struggle with weight but with laziness - sigh. The 300 lbs and over folks that work out really motivate me. I look on the site at what they are doing and think, "If they can get their butts off the couch so can I."

I look to Coolred for the same motivation. Her story about struggling with food as well as getting to a gym impressed me. This lady was not just a whining begging victim, whatever Mr. Anonymous says. (Hey and by the way Coolred, maybe you should take it as a compliment that he called you a whiner and a begger. Most of us would be stuck on a high volume primal scream and nonstop groveling in your position.)

If either of you join beginnertri (it is free)look for me. I have the amazingly creative name of "Annie". And Mr/Ms Anonymous please feel free to join also and leave nasty obscene messages. I would just love to work with international authorities - such a learning opportunity. I know that the Beginnertri site has dealt with these type of folks before.

Okay, I'm off to do something useful and constructive in my life.

Chiara said...

Annie--LOL :) Will do--more of a need to find new ways to exercise, all my friends are becoming triathletes, maybe instead of taking up ballet again type. And yes, international internet law is fascinating!!! :)

Off to walk to lunch!! LOL :)