New Year 2014. Last one was damn rough...time for something a little different.

2012 was one of my worst years yet since I divorced. No lie. I made some very bad choices, burned some much needed bridges, and generally just set myself on a destructive course that nearly had me in the black for good. 2013 was mostly spent trying to do damage control with varying degrees of success depending on who you asked. If you ask me, I wouldn't mind forgetting 2012 all together and parts of 2013 can follow right along, thank you. 

However, I didn't die from any of those bad choices so I will assume that means I still have time to do better and be better. A work in progress. Good days and bad days rub shoulders and have me on that emotional roller coaster ride that never seems to have an end. I have cried a lot and laughed little. I have spent more times just sitting doing nothing other than beating myself up over all those bad choices that just kept coming rather than do something about them...but eventually I caught on and started doing something. Too little too late? As I said, I'm not dead yet so let's assume the answer is no. 

I seriously need to start writing again. I keep saying I will and then let things get in the way even though this empty space is running like a ticker tape through my head day and night. It begs to be filled and my fingers itch to fill it but my mind just gets in the way and makes excuses...never seem to run out of those. 

Anyhow, my one resolution, if I must, is to get back to writing. I need to fill the empty spaces with words that won't stop in my head until they are written down. I need to finish that story I started awhile back that some of you may remember and I need to figure out how to make my writing work for me because I stopped writing and I started spiraling. I see a connection yet I couldn't seem to stop it or fix it. My goal is to write at least one post a week, more if properly motivated. Whether my readers come back or not is immaterial...I always did write just for me but the positive feedback was always nice. 

So here I am, 2014. Not dead yet. Not out for the count. Long as I wake up every morning then I have been given another chance to do better than the day before. Let's see if I have enough sunrises left to undo the destructive sunsets that are behind me? 

Wish me luck. 

Sorry People...

Dont know what happened but my blog totally disappeared for a few hours today. Luckily I download it quite often...however, as you can see...alot of what I had on the sidebars etc is gone...including my followers. Please if you were a follower of mine before re-follow me. I will work on this and get an update about whats been going on from my side...

some of you wont believe whats going on!!!

p.s. thank you so much for the emails etc asking where the blog went...nice to know people would miss me if I were gone...ha ha!!

Thought I'd give this whole questions thing a shot....how hard can it be?

Ok...so....cruising around the blogs there are many different sort of meme's going on asking questions about you and your life and what your wearing and whether or not you party on New Years or call it a night a 9 pm.....soooo I figured all of that sort of info just made most people (raises hand) look like a complete boring ninny....figured I would come up with some questions we REALLY want to know about people. Answer at your own risk...uhm I mean discretion.


I will make this easy and give you multiple choice answers.

You are pulling out of a parking lot and you accidentally scrape the car next to you...do you....
1. Immediately jump out, assess the damage and look around for an owner.
2. Duck down in your seat and hit the accelerator, peeling out of the parking lot.
3. Pretend you didnt hear that squeal and sedately drive away. (helps to play the radio very loud when leaving parking lots)


You get home from shopping and discover an item has not been charged to you on your receipt...do you...
1. Immediately call the shop and rectify the mistake.
2. Get on Twitter and crow about your "freebie".
3. Feel so guilty that you never use that item and re-gift it at some point. (works better if its re-gifted to someone you wont see ever again)


Your spouse/lover hurts you in the most heinous fashion...do you...
1. Swallow it down and keep all the hurt pent up until you have a mental meltdown.
2. Sob on friends shoulders and plot imaginary revenge to feel better.
3. Plot REAL revenge and feel better. (just remember to destroy all evidence after the fact)


You are waiting at a stop sign and a little old lady starts across the street making you wait....do you...
1. Fiddle with the gadgets in the car while waiting patiently.
2. Curse old people and give her a few words of "encouragement" out the window.
3. Honk your horn just to see her jump...then Twitter about it. (just make sure none of the little old ladies in your family read your twitter updates)


Your teenager comes home and goes directly to his/her room with the most guilty of expressions on their faces....do you...
1. Assume whatever it is will work itself out...or wait for them to come to you to "confess" some ordinary teen drama.
2. Stand outside their door with your ear pressed up against it trying to eavesdrop on his/her confession to best friend.
3. Blow the door open with the power of your wrath and pin them with your X-ray vision eyes, then hold them hostage from all sources of entertainment until a confession is had. (just remember, only they can show you how to download music and use Facebook apps like a pro...so go easy)


Your invited to a party at a friends house and realize they have prepared a feast...of all the foods you detest...do you...
1. Go on a spur of the moment diet.
2. Proclaim an upset stomach and stick to water.
3. Pretend to eat then sneak into the kitchen and eat all the Twinkies and Fritos you find in the cupboard. (if caught pretend you got lost on the way to the bathroom)


You are caught speeding and when the cop asks you...do you know why I pulled you over...do you...
1. Gulp guiltily and answer in the affirmative.
2. Put on your most innocent of expressions and play dumb.
3. Answer with the excuse that one of your children is having an appendix attack and your on the way to the hosp. (more believable if at least one child is actually with you at the time)


Your out and about and suddenly come across a celebrity (doesnt matter which one as we would be star struck by the most minor of celebrities Im sure)...do you...
1. Gush and stammer and search frantically for something to get his/her autograph on.
2. Act completely nonchalant while trying to make some serious eye contact...you have secret dreams of "being discovered".
3. Wait until they are not looking and take a seriously unflattering pic of them to post on your blog, twitter, facebook and myspace accounts. (we all like to have our moments in the sun and feel better than celebrities)


You see on the news that theres a political demonstration nearby and half the city is gathering...do you...
1. Grab your placard and pens and head out the door shouting Power to the People
2. Turn the channel and find some Desperate Housewives
3. Take the opportunity to run some errands considering the other half of the city will be empty most likely. (good chance to possibly get some first hand knowledge about "5 finger discounts" that always seem to happen the same time as city wide demonstrations)


By some miracle of the time space continuum you have the opportunity to meet the religious leader/founder/prophet etc of your chosen religion....do you...
1. Fall at their feet in absolute piety and have your faith reaffirmed through a confirmed sighting.
2. Have a serious heart to heart and come to the conclusion that history sucks and "facts" arent always what they appear to be but this religion is still pretty good compared to others.
3. Discover your religion was founded merely on one mans quest for immortality then change religions or become an atheist.


So there you have it folks. My 10 multiple choice questions. Have fun...and it was done in fun so if anyone gets their knickers in a twist over any of my questions or answers...feel free to sulk or unbunch said knickers with a rant of some kind.


p.s. the rules say I do not have to answer my own questions (dont ask me I dont make the rules)

Follow This Blog

As promised this is the new blog created by my 15 year old daughter(just had her bday not too long ago). Im highlighting it just so she can get some traffic in the beginning...and then hopefully it will go from there.

I told her to write what she pleased and dont feel censored just because I can read it...freedom in writing should be automatic and is very cathartic. Her first post is amazing and powerful and Im blown away all ready.

Please readers, if you have the time, visit my daughters blog. I promise you will read some awesome words...all though I cant vouch for the spelling (even with spellcheck...she is somewhat lazy in that regard...lol).

Enjoy

http://www.gothicangel94.blogspot.com/

Gotta Love This Post!!

I read quite an eclectic list of blogs and I have added and deleted as my interests are sparked or declined...but one blog has stayed on my list since I discovered it last year. She generally writes for POC and the crimes and racism that are enacted against them everyday...but writing about women in general is her main subject. She continuously amazes me with her insights and sharp tongue when it comes to "outing privilege" against whites in general and males specifically around the world.

Anyhow...this is her latest piece...on a subject near and dear to my heart (or maybe a bit lower down)...I would highly recommend all readers to check her out...shes got something to say and says it beautifully.

WOMANIST MUSINGS-by Renee

http://www.womanist-musings.com/2009/04/of-course-something-is-wrong-with-your.html

Fly Like A Noodle...

For anyone that has ever flown international...they are fully aware of just how uncomfortable coach seating is for the weary traveller. Sitting in that cramped little space for 7, 9, or even 11 hours is just plain torture...no other word for it. A friend of mine has made the trip back and forth from the states numerous times this past 2 years and I have no idea how she can put herself through that ordeal time after time. The only part of the whole experience that makes it bearable is being able to watch that little tv screen that shows the little airplanes progress across the globe. First crossing the middle east over into Europe and then onto America...the heart just feels lighter and lighter the closer you get to the east coast...you feel positively bubbly when you reach official American airspace....nothing like coming home.

Anyhow...I was going to write about the trip over on this post but I will leave that for another time...I just have to make some comments about my first week home and the things Ive noticed that are so different now...and that are different from over there.

1. Driving hands down is a major difference here. I no longer feel like every person that is anywhere near me is a potential threat...they very well could be but I dont have that defensive feel that is part and parcel of driving in Bahrain.

2. There is so much green its like the world turned green...a nice change of pace from the sand color Ive been use to all these years. However...with green comes bugs and let me tell you...everything in Texas is bigger...including its bugs. Ive never seen such big spiders...bees...wasps...not to mention the sheer quantity of insects. Bugs are litterally falling out of trees and getting kicked up in the grass as you walk...I dont mind bugs themselves...but for someone thats allergic to some of them...its a little harrowing to be ducking and dodging the constant on slaught....eeek!

3. It cost and arm and a leg to eat at fast food here....on one hand thats a good thing as I now cant afford over here the junk food that is quite cheap over there and a terrible mainstay of our diet....but on the other...I want to have a go at all the foods I missed eventually...lol...gotta pace myself.

4. I love being able to walk down the street...just wandering along with no purpose in mind...with my head up...taking in the sights...not worrying about what Im wearing...whose watching and will be passing judgement on me walking for no apparent reason...or who I might be with etc....cant explain how much of a burden that has always been....and how much more enjoyable walks are when none of that matters.

5. A big change I notice from when I was in school is that the school are hyper alert about safety now. Could be due to the recent spate of shootings etc that are a constant reminder that bad things can happen anywhere...but going through the process of putting my son in school I got to see the day to day activities and everything is geared for safety of the student...teachers...and visitors. Will definitely take some getting use to...alot of rules...but kids are adaptable so I dont expect too much trouble for mine.

6. Everything...anything...cost a lot. ugh!!!

Those are just a few observations Ive got so far. My internet connection really sucks so Im writing this with the net going off and on...so Im getting frustrated and not able to write really what I want to...Im ready to chuck the laptop actually. I hope that improves as keeping in touch with everyone and keeping up the blog etc are very important to me.

7. The internet cost alot too...damn!!!

Mind your manners...a lesson in Net Etiquette

I will be the first to admit that I know next to nothing about finding my way around the net and getting what I need from it. I jealously watch my kids click themselves into a net coma while getting, what appear to be, very complex objectives completed. Whenever Im watching movies that have anything at all do to with the net and I see fingers flashing and screen info whizzing by(no loading hangups in movie land I guess) I want to pull my hair out in frustration. How the heck do they get what they need so fast and how do they find it in the first place?

While cruising the superhighway I marvel at other peoples blogs and how interesting and eye catching they have designed their pages...mine is a cemetary by comparison...not much happening. It took me the better part of a weekend to figure out how to put the visitor counter on my page....and Im somewhat concerned whether its counting right...I think I have it programmed to count every time "I" visit the blog...that would explain the "high" count.....hmmm? As for putting ads...little cartoony characters...pics running up and down and around it...gimme a break....I feel like I need a Phd in Cut and Pasting HTML or an MBA in Link Clicking and RS Feedback...something anyhow that Im obviously sorely missing.

I entered the book store last month hoping to find some sort of help in my rise from net ignorane and lo and behold I found the "Bible" for all us poor souls ignorant about "all things blogger" and left scratching our heads while everyone else are making blog sites that win awards that keep the crowds coming back time and again....I found "Blogging for Idiots"...my Phd was just around the corner...I nearly sustained some serious paper cuts in my frenzy to devour the pages and experience that little "light bulb moment" that means I 'got it" at last...if only.

First thing and only thing I have learned to do was put a pic in my post....spiced up my post a little for sure...eye catching and colorful....lets the reader know fairly quickly what they are most likely going to be reading about...so pics are good...pics are interesting...pics are apparently owned by other people and cant just be used however you want...something I didnt read in the book(better check again...might have skimmed that part in my haste to enduce a blood draining paper cut)....unfortunately...my blunder caught the eye of one pic owner whose pic I filched while learning all about google images and how to find one for my post(oops...that was something I learned to do too...google a pic) and came here to let me know just how irritated he/she was and how inconsiderate I was for daring to do such a thing. Im still wondering how he/she knew how to find me...something else I need to learn...sigh! Anyhow...I was rightly kicked in my backside for "stealing" something that wasnt mine by rights and for that I sincerely apologize for my ignorance and for my theft...but its left me thinking very deeply about the net and what it is exactly.

For myself Ive always viewed it as a library at my fingertips...a smorgasboard of information just waiting to be clicked on and assimilated to my hearts content...the only limit being my need to sleep and do various other activities that are part and parcel of daily life...like work and pay bills. Other than that...its all free...the only thing I figured that wasnt free was anything that required a credit card number to acquire(ok copyright laws I knew about...but reading something doesnt infringe on that....and I dont make a habit of downloading things from the net anyhow...dont believe me...ask my kids...they had to show me how to download...it wasnt a pretty hour spent...I gave up after several colorful words were whispered through clenched teeth...and it wasnt by me)...yes...I know...how simple can one get? Live and learn...and occasionally get burned by your ignorance(Im pretty sure I can hear some giggles out there...dont be so quick to laugh...you all werent born with a Net gene in your DNA mix you know...we all have to learn eventually).

So my forays onto the net have been interesting...enlightening...and educational and Ive made lots of friends that help make life bearable...but Ive also stepped on some toes along the way and left at least one person fairly miffed at my audacity to take what wasnt mine...so I need to tread lightly and learn the rules as well as all the tricks...I would kindly request that someone direct me to a "rules and regulations concerning the net and its content"...if there is such a site...Im sure there is...there is a site on just about anything you can imagine...and somethings you cant...its a big wide world out there on the information superhighway...but no matter how far from home(your blog/site) you might travel...you can always find your way back...and apparently leave a fairly obvious trail while your at it so others can find you too...man! I gotta figure out how thats done...anyone?

p.s. Im rather hesitant to put a pic on my post now...feel somewhat like a "Three Strikes and Your Out" felon.....one more filched pic and Im locked up and the password thrown away...sheesh...guilt sure has a way of making sleep a restless affair indeed.

Change of Pace

I spent today cruising the highway of Bahrain blogs and was quite amazed at what I found. Lots of my fellow island dwellers are like minded when it comes to being pissed at the current state of the Islamic/Muslim world today. Some use quite colorful language while expressing their angry views too. Thats refreshing actually as Bahrainis seem quite unwillingly to say things even the least bit controversial in anything above a whisper in my experience...but maybe thats just in english?

I was happy to see sooo many critics of the govt here.....I swear everyone I meet always seem to gush with praise when the ruling family are mentioned or something about the latest govt plan. Then again maybe thats just in english.

Based on all this Ive read Ive decided to somewhat change my postings...more of my day to day dealings with life and bahrain plus the occasional burst of self righteous anger thrown in now and again to keep in interesting. And that will be just in english. More on that later.