Ramadan Intrigues

To all friends and family.

Feel Like I Should Be Mad...But Not Sure....Anyone?

Most people that have spent any time around Muslims during Ramadan will know that Muslims will strive to listen to the Quran throughout Ramadan...at home...in the car...where ever possible. We listen for several reasons...but the main one being that when we listen to the Quran...it reminds us to focus on our goal of Ramadan...to purify our thoughts and subsequently our actions.

So I had my son download the Quran into my MP3 player so that I could take it with me everywhere...and one of those places I took it was to work. This player requires headphones to hear it properly...but if you remove the headphones you can still hear it...but very tinny and far away. You have to be right next to it to get a clear hearing...from farther away its hard to make out what it is much less hear it even.
I had it on my desk...and was enjoying hearing it while I sat at the desk...and believe me...even that close it wasnt really that loud...or clear...but I was happy with it. So imagine my surprise...not to mention my anger...when my english boss popped his head around the corner and told me to turn off that music. I told him it wasnt music...it was the Quran...he replied...I dont care what it is...I dont want to hear it...turn it off.

I was left speechless...and my cheeks were burning....and I felt like I should say something about how rude that sounded to me...but I hesitated for two reasons. One...maybe I was being too sensitive...and two...its Ramadan and we are supposed to practice self restraint and patience...so I didnt do anything...but I seethed for the rest of the day....which probably disturbed my fasting...but Im only human.

My question to you, dear readers...is this. Would you have reacted in anyway if your boss said such a thing to you...or would you consider it his right to say it...as the boss and all? After all...he is the guest so to speak...this is a Muslim country...its the Holy Month of Ramadan...and the company that pays his salaray is owned by a Muslim...so its not beyond the pale to assume the Quran would be played at some point at work during Ramadan...as is the case in many businesses around the Islamic world...so why did he get so upset...and was frankly quite rude about it. A simple..."please dont play that during office hours" ...would have sufficed. I would still have been rather upset...but I wouldnt have felt as if he smacked me in the face...which is what I did feel...which is why Im so darn mad now.

Now I know many will quickly jump up and say..."you Muslims are so damn sensitive when it comes to your religion..."...well...Im not focusing so much on the religious aspect of it...more on his poor choice of words...he was just plain rude in my opinion. So...Im still fuming all these hours later...and wondering if I should press the point tomorrow at work...which is really what Im asking...if you were in my shoes...would you talk to him and point out his rudeness to him...or not? Id really like some opinions here...thanks in advance.

Ramadan is coming....

Dear God,

Ramadan is just around the corner...a few days is all that is left between what I have been this past year...and what I hope to become during this Holiest of Months. I must admit...there have been plenty of times when the idea of You was the very last thing on my mind...I realize You are closer to me than my jugular vein...but You know better than me that I have been far from You. There have even been a few moments during this past year when I felt rebellious at Your plan for me...wanting to reject it and throw it behind me "like a thing forgotten"...but I can never really forget You...try as I might...You are in my heart...in my soul....in my blood. I anticipate the coming of Ramadan like a lover waiting for her love....with rapidly beating heart and lightheadedness....I yearn for Ramadan to arrive so to begin my metamorphisis...from earth dweller to heavenly seeker.

I must admit God that I am often confused and hurt by Your plan for me and those near to me. I cannot understand why the lessons you teach must be hard and painful in order to learned and benefited from...I want ease in my life...I want the road...the path...to be smooth and uncorrupted with hate, pain, burdens or rejection. I wish only for ease of the soul...why cant I have this God....why must I bear these burdens when the burden quite often seems too heavy to bear...and cost more than Im willing to pay? Why cant the path to You be a straight shot without so much as a speedbump to slow me down...why?

Sometimes I cry You know...of course You know. I cry from fear and pain...from uncertainy and anger...from feelings of uselessness and powerlessness in my own life. I rage against the night and greet the early morning sun with frustration and desparation to figure this all out and make sense of it....I never make sense of it...and so I cry some more. Why must I cry...how can You sit by and let me cry when You could vey well give me the answers I seek? I know Your there listening...so why?

Ramadan is coming....let it be my solace...my panache...the healing balm to soothe my tired and weary heart. It has been a long year God...I have often felt that I travelled it alone...I hate to be alone...the worst feeling in the world is to feel that you are alone...I feel it God...I feel sometimes that You abandoned me and went off to spend some time with those that have a deeper faith in you...who wants to spend time with a crybaby who doesnt even understand the why's of it all....I wouldnt want to spend time with me either....but I dont like to feel alone. My soul often echoes with the loneliness of space...I long to fill it again God...help me to help myself.

Ramadan is coming....